1 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:35,536 J” last king Christmas last arrived j” 2 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,622 j” on the Christmas Christmas j” 3 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:40,082 Mmm. 4 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:42,668 Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham. 5 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,380 Um, merry Christmas. 6 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:47,757 Hello? 7 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,693 My parents are coming over for the first time in years. 8 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,761 Can we stow the gadgets and look alive? 9 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,637 Alive? 10 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,638 For your parents? 11 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,639 Mm, good one. 12 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,307 Hey, man! You "hey, man!" 13 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,267 This holiday is about humanity. 14 00:00:58,351 --> 00:01:00,951 You know, I thought it was about being born half-god or something. 15 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:01,812 Whatever. 16 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,106 All electronic items are going in the stocking... now. 17 00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:06,734 Dad, I'm not giving you my phone. 18 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,195 Put it in the stocking, summer, or I'm joining Facebook. 19 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:11,864 A—ho, ho, ho, everybody. 20 00:01:11,948 --> 00:01:13,050 More like "whoa, whoa, whoa." 21 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:13,866 What is this? 22 00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:14,784 My parents are coming! 23 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:15,785 Calm down, Jerry. 24 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,054 This is Reuben, an old friend. 25 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:18,329 Pearl harbor. 26 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,640 I check in on him once a year and give him a little 27 00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:21,999 Medical evaluation. 28 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:22,875 Aww! 29 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,127 Dad, that is so sweet! 30 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,712 Yeah, it is. 31 00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:27,672 I don't get it. 32 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,090 Korea. 33 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,734 Don't worry about your c-Christmas, Jerry. 34 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,736 I'll be with Reuben in my workshop while you guys are 35 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,304 having another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise. 36 00:01:35,388 --> 00:01:36,264 Huh. 37 00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:37,347 You think you know a guy. 38 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:39,475 Okay, there's my parents. 39 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,311 Now, remember... No TV, no phones, no laptops. 40 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:44,146 We are connecting this Christmas, 41 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,607 like old—school Jews on a Saturday. 42 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:47,775 Hey, hey! 43 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,026 Merry Christmas, son. 44 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,528 Uh, hi. 45 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:51,487 Can I help you? 46 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,822 Jerry, this is Jacob. 47 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,132 Didn't you get our text message? 48 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,156 Together: No! 49 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,284 You must be Jerry. 50 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,660 That's a fine-looking apron. 51 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,786 Williams-sonoma? 52 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,121 I wish! 53 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,330 But thank you. 54 00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:03,457 So, you're a... Friend of the family? 55 00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:06,627 Uh, the way we see it, he's a part of the family. 56 00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:08,170 Wow. 57 00:02:08,254 --> 00:02:11,048 After your father's brush with cancer and losing your uncle, 58 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:14,427 we looked at life and wondered, how have we spent it, 59 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,304 and how do we spend the rest of it? 60 00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,055 What are we going to be when we die... 61 00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,308 A list of fears and questions 62 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:23,394 or a collection of real experiences? 63 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,604 Holy crap. Joyce, that's amazing. 64 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,815 Then Jacob came into our lives, 65 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,109 and... we're learning to live again. 66 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,193 All three of us. 67 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:34,030 Cool. 68 00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:34,905 Eggnog? 69 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,198 Now we are talking! 70 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,075 This man's got the apron and the eggnog, huh? 71 00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:41,871 Hi, Joyce. Leonard. 72 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:42,830 Hello, there. 73 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,789 Merry Christmas, man. 74 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,033 Morty, a moment of your time? 75 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,000 He's in bad shape, morty. 76 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:48,186 Aw, geez, Rick. What'd you do? 77 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,211 Gee, thanks, morty. 78 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,975 W-W-What kind of monster do you think I am? 79 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,899 I-i-I'm sitting here trying to save the guy's life. 80 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:53,923 I need your help. 81 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,010 I want you to find Dr. Xenon bloom. 82 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,219 He'll know what's going on. 83 00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,930 Uh, w-w-w-where... Where do I find Dr. Bloom? 84 00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,182 In Reuben. 85 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,345 Reuben, minne... Minnesota? 86 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,809 Reuben on the table, morty. 87 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:07,229 Look, I-I-I I don't have time for you to wrap your 88 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,689 little walnut around everything. 89 00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,292 Just hold your breath until the process is over 90 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:11,525 or your lungs will collapse. 91 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,609 What proc... 92 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,364 Hey, dad, where's morty? 93 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,407 He's busy. 94 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,037 Morty, can you hear me? 95 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:23,913 Head north. 96 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:24,996 Rick, where am I? 97 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,665 Depending on my aim, 98 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:28,185 you should be just south of the entrance. 99 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,502 Morty: Entrance to what? 100 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,669 Welcome, morty. 101 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:31,587 Welcome... 102 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,505 [Gasdsi 103 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:35,257 to anatomy park! 104 00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:37,569 It's a little business venture I've been cooking up on the side 105 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,805 with Dr. Bloom —- an amusement park inside a human body. 106 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,890 Science isn't ch—- Cheap, morty. 107 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,743 This should really help put a dent in the overhead. 108 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:45,810 Oh, my god! 109 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,186 This is insane! 110 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,604 Spleen mountain? 111 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,398 Bladder falls? Pirates of the pancreas? 112 00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,583 Rick: You got a problem with that last one, morty? 113 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,275 Huh? No, no. 114 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,753 I'm just reading 'em out loud in the order that I'm seeing 'em. 115 00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:55,694 Rick: Okay. All right. 116 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,071 If I sounded a little defensive, 117 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,049 it's because pirates of the pancreas was my baby. 118 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,324 You know, I got -... 119 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,010 I got a lot of pushback when I pitched it, morty. 120 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,470 I guess I'm still a little defensive. 121 00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,888 Let's just find Dr. Bloom, all right? 122 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,765 I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, morty. 123 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,624 Proceed to the liver. 124 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,296 Announcer: Arriving at... 125 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,132 //ver. 126 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,133 Ow! 127 00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,426 Announcer: Mind the gap. 128 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,721 It's really scary in here, Rick. 129 00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,032 Rick: The liver's under maintenance. 130 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:24,974 Reuben's seen some rough years, morty. 131 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,517 Don't judge. 132 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,161 You don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your 133 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,687 life's going great. 134 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,441 Rick! It's a monster! 135 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:34,733 No, no, no. Morty. 136 00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,570 The only monster here is alco ...Holism. 137 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,405 That is an animatronic werewolf. 138 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:41,740 Who are you?! 139 00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:42,700 Answer me! 140 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,909 Where'd you come from? 141 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,387 My... my... my grandpa Rick sent me! 142 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:46,495 Poncho! 143 00:04:46,579 --> 00:04:47,872 That's quite enough. 144 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,748 Morty, that's poncho. 145 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,292 This is Roger and Annie. 146 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,751 [Gasdsi 147 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,671 and I am Dr. Xenon bloom. 148 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,006 [Gasdsi hey, bloom, it's Rick. 149 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,507 What the hell's going on here? 150 00:04:58,591 --> 00:05:03,053 I don't know why, but the entire security system has shut down, 151 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:06,682 and I'm afraid... The exhibits are unlocked. 152 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,933 Exhibits? 153 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,644 Anatomy park's greatest attraction, young man, 154 00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:12,229 isn't the music or the food or the... 155 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,814 Pirates of the pancreas. 156 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,316 Rick: Watch it. 157 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,903 It is, first and foremost, a living museum of humanity's most 158 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,363 noble and ferocious diseases. 159 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:22,447 Diseases? 160 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,033 Hey, doc. 161 00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,367 I got news for you. 162 00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:29,038 Your living museum is officially a wild safari! 163 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,415 Hepatitis a! Run! 164 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,798 Oh, the food goes in your mouth, girl. 165 00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:42,217 Oh, Jacob. 166 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,470 I-I'm sorry, Jacob. 167 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,793 I-I guess I'm still confused about the precise nature and 168 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,600 origin of your relationship with my parents. 169 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,495 Are you, like, uh... are you, like, their caretaker? 170 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:52,519 Is that what it is? 171 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,841 We can go into detail later, son. 172 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,732 Now, wait. Th-there's no point to secrecy. 173 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,776 Let's all live and die honestly. 174 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,445 Your mother and I have shared 40 years of each other, mind, 175 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,240 body, and soul, and when minds and souls are joined 176 00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:07,826 for eternity and when eternity is at the door, 177 00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:11,163 it's an invitation to let go of the body and an opportunity 178 00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:13,541 to share and experiment. 179 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,251 Dad, please. What are you saying? 180 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:18,254 Whatever it is, it's beautiful, Leonard, and we support you. 181 00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,506 Hey, speak for yourself, because it 182 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,800 Sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover. 183 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,110 Grandfather: No, no, no, no, no, no. 184 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,220 Jacob is your mother's lover. 185 00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,430 I watch them —- 186 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:31,600 sometimes from a chair and sometimes from a closet, 187 00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:33,894 almost always dressed as Superman. 188 00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:38,107 Oh. 189 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,568 Jerry, this ham has got to be all you, right? 190 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,319 It's incredible. 191 00:06:43,696 --> 00:06:45,906 Happy human holiday, dad. 192 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,241 Aah! 193 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,414 Hepatitis won't follow us into the respiratory system. 194 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,542 That's strange. 195 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,918 Airflow is down 20%. 196 00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:00,004 So, the brain isn't getting enough oxygen. 197 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,089 That's why security's offline. 198 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,049 Well, I guess we better check it out. 199 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,596 Hey! Wait for me! 200 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,723 Put that back on! 201 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,184 If we got up to the bronchial catwalk, 202 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,644 we could look for a blockage. 203 00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:16,937 I'll go. 204 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:19,898 Don't be a hero, kid. 205 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:20,899 I'm not. 206 00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,276 I'm doing it because it's fun. 207 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,486 We shouldn't be here. 208 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:27,031 Whatever you do, do not fire that thing in here. 209 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,033 We must save Reuben. 210 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,743 This is my life's work. 211 00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:33,162 [Gasdsi it's all right, my dear. 212 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:36,915 Nearly all human lungs contain a strain of these bacteria, 213 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:39,460 but the scar tissue keeps them... 214 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,420 Dormant. 215 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,671 Morty, get down! 216 00:07:42,755 --> 00:07:43,756 Whoa-ho-ho! 217 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,007 Whoa! 218 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,343 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 219 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,306 Oh, what are those things? 220 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,683 Tuberculosis —- coming in fast! 221 00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,226 Not faster than a bullet! 222 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,519 Aah! 223 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:58,520 Dr. Bloom: No! 224 00:07:58,604 --> 00:07:59,897 Do you know what you've done?! 225 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,484 All: Whoa! 226 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,528 Get to the digestive tract! 227 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,613 He's coughing! 228 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,532 Whoaaaa! 229 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:11,992 Don't let me die! 230 00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:13,410 Just take a deep breath, Reuben. 231 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,578 [Gasdsi 232 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:15,662 you're not gonna die! 233 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:16,704 What's your name? 234 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:17,790 My name is... 235 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:20,209 Alexand-... 236 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,090 Rick... r-r-Reuben's got tuberculosis! 237 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,257 Oh, great work, morty. 238 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:29,009 Okay, I'll just cure it and then... 239 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:31,636 Okay. 240 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:32,888 Well, I can't cure death. 241 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,014 This is bad, morty. 242 00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:35,200 You're trapped in a dead man. 243 00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,743 Listen, if the situation keeps darkening, 244 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:39,520 do yourself a favor and pop by pirates of the pancreas. 245 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,855 Obviously I'm biased, but I think it's great, morty. 246 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:43,982 It's a bunch of pirates running around a 247 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,151 Pancreas. 248 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,629 We don't whitewash it, either, morty. 249 00:08:47,653 --> 00:08:49,154 I mean, the pirates are really rapey. 250 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:52,074 The top priority is to get, you know, you guys out of there, 251 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,260 but I'm just saying, if that becomes impossible, please, 252 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,828 you gotta treat yourself. 253 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,161 Oh, man. 254 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,956 W-w-w-what is that horrible smell? 255 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,165 You mean the panda express? 256 00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:03,085 Kidding. I—I'm kidding. 257 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:06,422 The body is beginning to constrict and fill with gas. 258 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,132 We're inside a corpse, my boy. 259 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,259 Anatomy park is doomed. 260 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,593 Forget about the park, doctor! 261 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:12,803 How do we get out? 262 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,888 The digestive tract is the evacuation route. 263 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,390 Get it? 264 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,660 There's an emergency station in the colon with a ray that can 265 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,060 enlarge us all. 266 00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:21,562 Everybody, head for the colon! 267 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:24,690 Now I'm taking orders from a 12-year-old boy? 268 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:29,403 Morty, the scar sacs containing the tuberculosis were sabotaged. 269 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,572 This disaster was an inside job. 270 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,574 Keep your eye on Annie. 271 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,743 She was written up several times 272 00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:38,871 by her manager at the churro stand. 273 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,765 Intestines are ahead to the left, then to the right, 274 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,250 then left, et cetera. 275 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,755 Hey, just so you know, i-i-I'm actually 14. 276 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,214 So, you know... what? 277 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:50,758 Not 12. 278 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,217 Okay. 279 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,845 You know, because he just said I was 12. 280 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,221 Oh. 281 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:57,806 Good for you. 282 00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,558 Rick: Oof. Ugh. Il/lon'y. 283 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,893 Strike one. 284 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,397 J” it's a road of wonder j” 285 00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:07,107 j” a trail of food j” 286 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:10,986 j” it's a pathway to break up the bad and good j” 287 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:15,032 j” it's a tube that digests and then sends out the rest j” 288 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,119 j” it's a small, small intestine j” 289 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,789 it goes on like this for miles. 290 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,208 Then we get to the large intestine! 291 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,336 Shh! I hear something. 292 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,382 Don't move. 293 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:36,220 Gonorrhea can't see us if we don't move. 294 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:39,640 Wait, I was wrong. 295 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,803 I was thinking of a t. Rex. 296 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,353 Move! 297 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,233 We're sitting ducks! 298 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,294 Doc, didn't you say that the body was filling with gas? 299 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,611 Yes. Why? 300 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,571 Kid, you're a genius. 301 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,656 Are you mad?! 302 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,949 Everybody, in here! 303 00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,368 Hey, gonorrhea! 304 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,912 How's this for a burning sensation? 305 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,045 Huh. 306 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,797 I giggles I 307 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,216 j” drummer drum drum drum drum drum j” 308 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,260 j” drum drum drum drum drum drum j” 309 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,261 j” Christmas drums j” 310 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,512 oh, sing it, summer. 311 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,722 J” Christmas drums being played by a b-o-o-o-y j” 312 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,015 oh, I love to hear you sing. 313 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,061 Jerry, come on. 314 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,271 This is what you wanted. 315 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,354 I get it, Beth. 316 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,557 Be careful what you wish for. 317 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,233 I'm being punished for taking your iPad. 318 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,192 What? 319 00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,694 Jerry, let that stuff go, okay? 320 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,237 I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier. 321 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,281 Let's just be here. 322 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,283 Summer! 323 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,284 Ethan? 324 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,367 What are you doing here? 325 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,470 I've been texting you for hours! 326 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,620 What the hell?! 327 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,621 I don't have my phone! 328 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,164 I'm doing a human holiday! 329 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,959 Well, did you even consider how that might make me feel?! 330 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,210 How you feel?! 331 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,546 Why is everything always happening to you?! 332 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,464 Summer, do you have a boyfriend? 333 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,008 Yeah, do you, summer? 334 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:56,884 I don't know, Ethan. 335 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,093 Do I?! 336 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,971 Jerry, no disrespect, but you really need to 337 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,973 connect more with your family, man. 338 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,369 I should be able to access the backup generator to get the 339 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,686 growth ray online. 340 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,789 If it works, we'll be regular-sized in a few minutes. 341 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,893 I just hope Reuben's not in a room with white carpets 342 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,940 or upholstery. 343 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,360 What the hell is that? 344 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,570 The sphincter dam. 345 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,405 We built it when Reuben became inconfinent 346 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,283 but it was not designed to hold a corpse load. 347 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,285 I've almost got it. 348 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,120 Everybody, move inside the circle. 349 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,331 Poncho? 350 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,624 What is this in your backpack? 351 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,959 That's bubonic plague! 352 00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:32,483 What are you doing with that, poncho? 353 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,337 [Gasdsi 354 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,420 everybody, get back! 355 00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:35,881 Poncho, you son of a bitch! 356 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,259 You released the tuberculosis so you could steal from me? 357 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:40,677 That's right, baby. 358 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,888 A lot of people would pay top dollar 359 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,848 to decimate the population. 360 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,266 I'll take the highest bidder... 361 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,101 Ai—qaeda, North Korea, 362 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:51,313 Republicans, shriners, balding men that work out, 363 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,316 people on the Internet that are only turned on by cartoons 364 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,026 of Japanese teenagers... 365 00:12:56,109 --> 00:13:00,530 Anything is better than working for you, you pompous, negligent, 366 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:04,826 iTunes-gift-card-as—a—holiday- bonus-giving mother—- 367 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:08,580 Come on! 368 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:12,709 Aah! 369 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,793 Get off! 370 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,256 You guys! 371 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,591 It's gonna burst! Go! 372 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:20,675 Go, go, go! 373 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,179 My foot is stuck. 374 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,722 No! It's okay! 375 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,808 It's okay. Just go. Tell my family I love them. 376 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,911 They may be hard to find 'cause my wife kept her last name and 377 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,413 she made the kids take it, too, so, I-I don't know, you can -... 378 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,855 No! 379 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,528 Let me ask you a question, Ethan. 380 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,405 Where's the anger coming from, man? 381 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,157 From summer being a total bitch! 382 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:49,079 Where's the anger coming from? 383 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,666 My brother... took me fishing once ...In the bushes... 384 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,353 I can't... I can't... 385 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,005 He made me feel like a girl! 386 00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,382 I... he made me a girl! 387 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,552 He didn't make you anything, man. 388 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,429 You are who you are. 389 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,180 She is who she is. 390 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,516 Now, you go to her... brand-new. 391 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,600 Come here, right now. 392 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,560 Oh, my god. 393 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,894 I'm so sorry, Ethan! 394 00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,021 I love you! 395 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,104 I love you so much. 396 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,983 Um... 397 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,818 You did it again, cubbie. 398 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,986 Come here. 399 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,743 No! Stop! I hate this! 400 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,787 Well, Christmas doesn't revolve around what you hate, son. 401 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,122 Well, then I hate Christmas! 402 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,540 Enjoy being human! 403 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,250 You guys are gross and lame. 404 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,419 My name's Reuben Ridley. 405 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:40,547 You're inside me right now, but by the end of this journey... 406 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,630 Whoopsie. 407 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,925 Animatronic Reuben: I'll be inside all of you. 408 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,927 My story begins during 409 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:48,346 the dot-com crash in the early '903. 410 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,059 You can put your fingers wherever you want. 411 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,120 Rick: Morty, you want to put it on mute or something? 412 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,479 I'm... I'm trying to concentrate. 413 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,480 Uh... Rick? 414 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,814 Not now, Jerry. 415 00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,584 I've got much, much smaller fish to fry. 416 00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:01,359 I wanted to say I'm sorry I everjudged you. 417 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,612 Right now, you're my sanest relative. 418 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,363 Relative. 419 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:06,573 R-Relative size! 420 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,426 Jerry, hand me a scalpel and a bundle of dynamite. 421 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,761 Morty, can you get to the left nipple? 422 00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:11,036 Are you kidding? 423 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,680 I'm hoping I can get to both of 'em, Rick. 424 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,664 No, morty, I'm talking about reubenis left nipple. 425 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,269 We need to get to the left nipple! 426 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,961 The body is decaying. 427 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,297 The arterial transit system is useless. 428 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,174 We can try the service shuttle. 429 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,737 It's connected to the skeletal system. 430 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,761 That's why we call it the bone train. 431 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,889 Would you like to ride the bone train, miss? 432 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,516 If it'll get us out of here. 433 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,101 How about you, morty? 434 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:37,062 Would you like to ride the bone train? 435 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,355 Why are you doing this bit? 436 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,065 We're gonna die! Let's go! 437 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,070 Well... I can see you're busy. 438 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,488 Merry Christmas, Rick. 439 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,368 There's no autopilot. 440 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,579 One of us will have to stay here and operate it manually. 441 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,854 - Uh, well... - Bloom: No, you're... you're right. 442 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,922 I-lt was a dick move for me to even pause like that. 443 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,048 This is all my fault. 444 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,424 You go on. 445 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,467 What the hell is that? 446 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,803 E. Coli outbreak. 447 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,886 Hurry! 448 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,016 Wait, there is an autopilot. 449 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,685 Wait! 450 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,270 It's okay! Never mind! 451 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,148 I wanted to sacrifice myself anyway! 452 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,911 They're... they're chewing through the doors! 453 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,405 We're in the areola, Rick... 454 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,700 Almost to the nipple, but we're also in a really bad situation! 455 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,451 Rick: I'm almost there, morty! 456 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,881 Reports from all over the country have been coming in 457 00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,258 about what appears to be a giant, 458 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,595 naked man over the continental United States. 459 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,055 We now go to Tom Randolph in New York. Tom? 460 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:57,309 Well, the eyes aren't twinkling and the dimples aren't merry, 461 00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:01,313 but I'm standing under a nose like a 70—mile cherry. 462 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,522 Thank you, Tom. 463 00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:05,192 Let's go now to Eric mcmahan in Los Angeles. 464 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,194 We've got feet here on the west coast, bill —- 465 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:08,653 giant feet, 466 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,697 even relative to the giant man's size, 467 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,450 and you know what they say about that. 468 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,535 Well, if the old adage is true, 469 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:20,707 one can only wonder what's going down in the rocky mountains. 470 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,834 Wha? 471 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,262 Oh my god, the track! 472 00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:35,639 It's hepatitis a! 473 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,182 Aaaah! 474 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:52,489 [Gasdsi 475 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,115 the nipple hole. 476 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:56,368 It's beautiful. 477 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,125 Oh, no! 478 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,710 Holy crap! 479 00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,090 Whoa! It's hepatitis c! 480 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,221 Um... wait... 481 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,765 Did we have some sort of relationship with him? 482 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,267 I think they're just like that? 483 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,143 I think they're just good guys. 484 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,646 Oh. Huh. 485 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,064 Rick: Where's Dr. Bloom? 486 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,691 I'm sorry, Rick, but he's dead. 487 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,817 God damn it, morty. 488 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,652 I ask you to do one thing! 489 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,348 Jerry doesn't know what he's missing. 490 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,707 He'll come around, Beth. 491 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,292 Christmas is a special time. 492 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,419 It has funny ways of bringing families together. 493 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,837 I don't know, Jacob. 494 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,965 Jerry got an invitation to be alive today, and he rejected it. 495 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,509 I don't know if our marriage will... 496 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,555 [Gasdsi 497 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,681 it's raining blood! 498 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,890 Oh, shit. Find Jerry. 499 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:01,891 Oh, god. 500 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,727 Jerry! It's all right. 501 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,729 The TV says there's nothing to worry about. 502 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,648 The giant, naked sky Santa has exploded 503 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:12,193 blood and chunks of viscera are raining down on the country. 504 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,195 Everything should be fine. 505 00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:16,323 Oh, yes. 506 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:17,699 Dad, can I have my phone back? 507 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,200 A sure, sweetie. Here. 508 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,619 Everybody, take a device. 509 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,246 It'll help you relax. 510 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,331 This is nice. 511 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,707 Yeah. 512 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,585 Look, I guess we really learned something this Christmas, Jacob. 513 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,753 No, we didn't, dad. 514 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,671 No, we didn't. 515 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:34,716 Rick: Too bad about Dr. Bloom. 516 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,967 He was a genius... 517 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:38,303 The only man capable of creating a new anatomy park. 518 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,889 Actually, I studied Dr. Bloom's work. 519 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,183 I-I-I—I believe I have the knowledge necessary to create 520 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,976 an entirely new, much safer park. 521 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,060 What about... 522 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,395 Pirates of the pancreas? 523 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,898 I think it was one of the most underrated attractions. 524 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,484 Boo—yah! Hold your breath. 525 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,652 Hey, w-w-what the hell, Rick?! 526 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,654 What the hell, man! I liked her! 527 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,615 I really had something going there, Rick! 528 00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,949 Yeah, so I heard. 529 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,761 You dodged a bullet, morty... trust me. 530 00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:03,495 Puffy vagina. 531 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:04,829 W-What's wrong with that? 532 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,432 That doesn't sound like a problem to me. 533 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,624 I don't know. 534 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,851 Come on, let's get some stuffing. 535 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,251 I'm starving. 536 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,546 Oh, unbelievable. 537 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,924 We got... we got a bunch of robot, computer people, 538 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,676 sitting around with their faces stuffed into computer screens. 539 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,804 Do you guys realize that Christ was born today? 540 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,349 Jesus Christ, our savior, was born today. 541 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,017 Are -— are -— are you people even human? 542 00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:28,061 What kind of Christmas is this? 543 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,969 Annie: Hey, Rick? Rick, can you hear me? 544 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:01,845 Loud and clear, Annie. 545 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:02,846 Annie: Great. 546 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,782 We're also on with Alejandro, our chief imaginarian. 547 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:05,849 Alejandro: Hey, Rick. 548 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,202 Natalie Jacobs and Chris deseter from microscopic marketing, 549 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,854 Zack from organ concepts, and Jamie from new media. 550 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,230 Hey, everybody. 551 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,332 Hi, how's it going? Hi, Rick. 552 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,816 Annie: So, pirates of the pancreas. 553 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:15,899 Yeah. Talk to me. 554 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,402 Hey, Rick. It's Alejandro speaking. 555 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,655 Um, so, we asked ourselves, internally... 556 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,990 We asked ourselves over here, 557 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,992 "okay, what does a pancreas do?" 558 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:26,661 And the answer was, "does it make pirates?" 559 00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,788 No, it makes Insulin, you know? 560 00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:30,540 So, we're starting with a new... 561 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,001 Those guys are inside me, huh? 562 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:34,752 Like, building a park? 563 00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:36,814 Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit, Ethan! 564 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:38,649 They're inside you building a monument to compromise! 565 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,300 Fuck 'em. 566 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,383 Fuck those people. 567 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,970 Fuck this whole thing, Ethan. 568 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,513 Cool. 569 00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:46,597 And who pays me? 570 00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:49,809 Did you get any of that? 571 00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:51,728 It's a good-a show!