1 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,078 T-t-t-this is just sloppy craftsmanship. 2 00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:37,496 Hey, Rick. 3 00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:40,750 Boy, sure is really especially beautiful out there today, huh? 4 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,043 Oh, yes, morty. 5 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,920 I-It's almost unbelievable, isn't it? 6 00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:45,046 Yeah, you know? 7 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,356 There's something about the air 8 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,007 and just the way the sunshine is. 9 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,008 Uh, sure, buddy. Yeah. 10 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,760 Sure. B-Brilliant. Very convincing. 11 00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:51,761 Wha... convincing? 12 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,929 Oh. Responsive, too. 13 00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,305 In real time. I love it. 14 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,973 Uhh... okay. 15 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,257 I'm going to work. 16 00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:58,643 Morty, good morning. 17 00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,769 Dad, good morning. 18 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,729 I am going to work. Goodbye. 19 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,231 What's with mom? 20 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:04,732 Oh, what's with mom? 21 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,651 So, you're saying that she's acting weird? 22 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,236 How sophisticated. 23 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:09,528 Careful, guys. 24 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,405 You're gonna burn out the cpu with this one. 25 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:12,698 Okay, you know what, Rick? 26 00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:13,866 You're acting weird, too. 27 00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:16,702 Whatever, quote-unquote "morty." 28 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:17,954 All right, well... 29 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:19,288 I'll see you after school. 30 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,123 Ow! Oof! Ugh! 31 00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:22,208 Damn it! 32 00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,459 I'm all right. I'm okay. 33 00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:28,965 All right, who can tell me what 5 x 9 is? 34 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,592 Morty? 35 00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:32,551 Uh, me? 36 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:33,803 What is 5 x 9? 37 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,973 Umm... you know, it's uhh ...At least 40. 38 00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,434 Morty, that's exactly correct! 39 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:43,020 5 x 9 is at least 40! 40 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:43,980 Come up here. 41 00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:45,398 Whoo! Way to go, morty! 42 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,858 Everybody, this is the best student. 43 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,860 I want you to be the teacher today. 44 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,320 Teach us, morty! 45 00:01:51,404 --> 00:01:52,571 Interesting. 46 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,091 W-W-W—what do you want me to teach you? 47 00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,157 Ooh, ooh! 48 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,993 How do you make concentrated dark matter? 49 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:58,244 Oh, that's a good question. 50 00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,662 Concentrated huh? 51 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:00,871 Concentrated dark matter... 52 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,457 The fuel for accelerated space travel. 53 00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:04,601 Now, do you know how to make it? 54 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,501 Umm... 55 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:06,502 Jessica: Come on, morty. 56 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,754 Isn't your grandpa, like, a scientist? 57 00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:11,382 Oh, yeah, but, you know, he told me that I shouldn't go 58 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,093 around spouting off about, you know, his science and stuff. 59 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,179 I bet you've seen him make concentrated dark matter a lot. 60 00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:20,433 You know, if you tell us, I'll be your girlfriend. 61 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:21,600 Uh, y-you will? 62 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,602 Seems like a rare opportunity, morty. 63 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,873 Morty, u-uh, come on. There's a family emergency. 64 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,982 Stop right there! 65 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,251 If he leaves, I'm giving him an "f." 66 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,275 Rick: He doesn't care. 67 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,318 Aw, man! 68 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,695 Rick, I have to go back! 69 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,155 I think I was about to get married! 70 00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,382 Ugh! Take a shower with me, morty. 71 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,240 What?! 72 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,533 Listen to me, morty. 73 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,469 Get your clothes off and get in the shower right now. 74 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,203 Y—y-y-you got to trust me, morty. 75 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,287 Ugh! 76 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,682 I'm gonna get an "f" in class, Rick. 77 00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:44,832 Morty, that's not class. 78 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,375 T-t-t-that wasn't your teacher. 79 00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:47,626 This isn't your school. 80 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,253 This entire world is not the world. 81 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,737 We're inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship. 82 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:52,715 Wait a minute. 83 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:53,966 W-What are you talking about? 84 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,885 It's all fake morty... All of it. 85 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:59,722 Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of crazy fake nonsense, morty. 86 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,565 I couldn't say so until we got in the shower. 87 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,850 They won't monitor us in here. 88 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,435 Monitor us?! W-Who?! 89 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,936 Zigerion scammers, morty —- 90 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,106 the galaxy's most ambitious, least successful con artists. 91 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,359 You know, it's lucky for us they're also really 92 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:12,461 uncomfortable with nudity. 93 00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:13,652 Aw, come on, Rick. 94 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,047 If everyone's just gonna be insane today, 95 00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:17,114 at least let me be insane with Jessica. 96 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,216 I can't let you do that, morty. 97 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,033 Give it to me! 98 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:19,909 No! 99 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:20,826 You give it to me! 100 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,745 G-G-Give it! No, Rick! 101 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,214 Oh, god, sir! They're still naked! 102 00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,757 Ugh. 103 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,152 Well, check every five quintons and tell me when they're not. 104 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:39,387 I think we should make kev/n look, sir. 105 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,470 What?! No! 106 00:03:40,513 --> 00:03:41,931 W-W-Why would you even say that? 107 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:44,058 Uh, sir, we have a situation over here. 108 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,684 If there's a wiener on that monitor, 109 00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,269 I swear to god, stu... 110 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,271 Something is drawing a lot of processing power. 111 00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,523 Oh, wait. No wonder. 112 00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,983 There's another real human in the simulator. 113 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,319 Okay, Jerry... Big pitch meeting. 114 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,529 Make-or-break rime. 115 00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:58,531 You can do this. 116 00:03:58,614 --> 00:03:59,657 How did this happen?! 117 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,158 Where's the abductions department? 118 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,786 Hey, man, abductions just follows the acquisition order. 119 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,287 Don't put this on acquisitions! 120 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,915 We only acquire humans that haven'tbeen simulated! 121 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,709 Well, simulations doesn't simulate anybody that's been 122 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,920 abducted, so oh, I see! 123 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,296 Oh, oh! It was no one's fault. 124 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,548 Oh, okay. 125 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,858 I'm sorry. Well, then, problem solved. 126 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:17,925 Oh, wait... no. 127 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,969 There's still another human in here! 128 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,387 Who is he? 129 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,972 Rick's son-in-law, Jerry Smith. 130 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,850 So far, he hasn't noticed he's in a simulation. 131 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,497 Well, cap his sector at 5% processing, 132 00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:30,747 keep his settings on auto, and we'll deal with him later. 133 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,898 Rick Sanchez is the target. 134 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,545 Got to relax. 135 00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:37,862 It's just a pitch. 136 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,196 Got to relax. 137 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,533 This is Ean'h radio. 138 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,244 And now, here 's... humah music. 139 00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,458 Hmm. Human music. 140 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:53,002 I like it. 141 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,016 Rick! 142 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,184 Uhp, uhp, uhp! 143 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,619 Morty, keep your hands off your ding—dong! 144 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,121 It's the only way we can speak freely. 145 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,354 Look around you, morty. 146 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,482 Do you really think this world is real? 147 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:17,151 You'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the sloppy details. 148 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,361 Look —- that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs. 149 00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:20,488 Morty: I don't know, Rick. 150 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,090 I mean, I've seen people do that before. 151 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:23,425 Rick: Well, look at that old lady. 152 00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:25,075 She's... she's walking a cat on a leash. 153 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,077 Uh, Mrs. Spencer does that all the time, Rick. 154 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,497 Look, I-I-I don't want to hear about Mrs. Spencer, morty! 155 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:30,664 She's an idiot! 156 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:31,624 All right, all right, there. 157 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:32,875 W-What about that, morty? 158 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,710 Morty: Okay, okay, you got me on that one. 159 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:35,920 Oh, really, morty? 160 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,522 Are you sure you haven't seen that somewhere 161 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,422 in real life before? 162 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:39,757 No, no. I haven't seen that. 163 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,800 I mean, why would a pop tart want to live inside 164 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,219 a toaster, Rick? 165 00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:45,739 I mean, that would be, like, the scariest place for them to live. 166 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,805 You know what I mean? 167 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,116 You're missing the point, morty. 168 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,060 Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? 169 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,662 I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? 170 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:53,771 No. 171 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:54,915 So, why are they doing this? 172 00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:56,023 W-What do they want? 173 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,250 Well, that would be obvious to you, morty, 174 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,514 if you'd been paying attention. 175 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,048 We got the president of the United States in here! 176 00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:05,908 We need 1000 of concentrated dark matter, stat, or he'll die! 177 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,952 Concentrated dark matter? 178 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,662 They were asking about that in class. 179 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,473 Yeah, it's a special fuel I invented to travel through 180 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,123 space faster than anybody else. 181 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,435 These zigerions are always trying to scam me out of my secrets, 182 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,003 but they made a big mistake this time, morty. 183 00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:19,880 They dragged you into this. 184 00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:21,048 Now they're gonna pay! 185 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,691 What do you... W-W-What are we gonna do? 186 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,677 We'll scam the scammers, morty. 187 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,471 And we're gonna take them for everything they've got. 188 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:30,182 Jerry: National apple farmers of america, 189 00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:32,351 welcome to our ad agency. 190 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,353 I'm Jerry Smith. 191 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,397 All right. 192 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,856 I'll just... get to the pitch. 193 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:41,902 Um, simple question, gentlemen, What are apples? 194 00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:43,320 Excuse me. 195 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,114 Ahh. 196 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,201 What are apples? 197 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,870 Apples are food. 198 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:54,456 And... when do we need food? 199 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,417 When we're hungry. 200 00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,546 With that, I give you your new slogan! 201 00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,049 Well, say something! 202 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,134 Do you like it? 203 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,260 Yes. 204 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,261 You do? 205 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,387 All: Yes. 206 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,014 So... I sold it? 207 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,016 I sold the idea? 208 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099 All: Yes. 209 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:14,768 Oh, my god! Thank you! 210 00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,729 Together: Thank you. 211 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:17,812 You're welcome. 212 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,235 Hey! 213 00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:24,695 I just sold my first pitch! 214 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,364 Slow down! Lookin' good. 215 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:28,532 My man! 216 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:32,453 Hello. 217 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,747 Guess who just sold the apples campaign. 218 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,457 Who just sold the apples campaign? 219 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,916 Me! 220 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,628 I guess it wasn't a rip—off of "got milk?" After all. 221 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,504 Guess someone was wrong. 222 00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:43,672 Yes. 223 00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,275 Well, all is forgiven, because right now, 224 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,580 I've got an erection the size of an east coast lighthouse, 225 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,779 and I'm coming home to share it with my beautiful wife. 226 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,638 Okay. 227 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:51,513 Wait... really? 228 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,431 Yes. 229 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,266 Yes! See you in 10 minutes! 230 00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:55,350 Hey! 231 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,935 I'm going to make love to my wife! 232 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:58,354 Lookin' good. 233 00:07:58,437 --> 00:07:59,229 Slow down! 234 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,313 My man! 235 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:02,983 Aw, geez, Rick. 236 00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,794 I-I don't know if I like this plan, you know? 237 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,655 I mean, crowds, t-t—t—they have a tendency 238 00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,757 to make me really nervous. 239 00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:09,907 Morty, relax. 240 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,659 It's just a bunch of 1s and os out there. 241 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,951 You're gonna be fine. 242 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:14,203 Just follow my lead. 243 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,788 Yo, deejay, drop that beat. 244 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,125 Uh-oh, morty. 245 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,295 This crowd looks too small for one of ourfamous rap concerts. 246 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,214 I don't think we can perform our new song, 247 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,508 "the recipe for concentrated dark matter," 248 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:28,717 for a crowd this tiny. 249 00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,302 You got that right, Rick. 250 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,432 Rick: Now that's more like it! 251 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,142 Morty, here we go. 252 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,104 Let me hear everybody say "hey—oh!" Yeah! 253 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,898 All the ladies say, "yeah!" 254 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,235 Everybody over 30, do this with your hands! 255 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,904 Everybody with a red shirt, jump up and down! 256 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:01,875 Mm. Mm. Mm. 257 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,419 Yeah, don't move. 258 00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,713 Mm, mm, mm, mm! 259 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,089 Mm! 260 00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:09,943 Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an "I" 261 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,594 who isn't hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times 262 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:15,305 as the square root of your age times 10! 263 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,435 Run, morty! 264 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:20,728 Before the system reboots! 265 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,309 Jerry: Yeah! You like that? 266 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,357 Now who's unremarkable? 267 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:26,900 You hungry for apples? 268 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,612 Are you hungry... for... apples?! 269 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,244 Oh, my god. 270 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,164 That's the best sex I've ever had in my life. 271 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:44,460 It's... it's... too good. 272 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:46,754 I don't deserve this, Beth. 273 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,922 I'm a fraud. 274 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,006 Oh, man, Rick! 275 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,300 W-w-w-where we running to? 276 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,634 Out of the simulation, morty. 277 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,636 Normally, the chamber operates like a treadmill, 278 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,480 with the virtual world disappearing behind us 279 00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:58,575 and being rendered in front of us as we move through it, 280 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,560 but while it's frozen, morty, we can get to... 281 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,270 The edge. 282 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,353 Here we go. 283 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,272 Holy crap! 284 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,355 Come on, morty. 285 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,027 Sir, they're over the edge. 286 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,195 Yes, they are. 287 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,198 Just... as... planned. 288 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,078 Oh, this is going to be such a mindfuck! 289 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,517 Keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room, morty. 290 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,210 That's how we're gonna scam these idiots. 291 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,629 So, hey, why do these aliens keep coming after you, Rick, 292 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,112 if you're so much smarter than them? 293 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,772 It's an obsession for them at this point. 294 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,735 The zigerions have been trying to outsmart 295 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:34,968 me for years, morty. 296 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:37,054 Every time they do, I'm one step ahead of them. 297 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,180 Aha! 298 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,348 Here we go. 299 00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,619 Grab as many processors as you can carry, morty. 300 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,019 These guys aren't good at much, 301 00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,313 but they're real/ygood at making these chips. 302 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,731 Rick: I've got so many, I can barely hold them all. 303 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,318 Look at... look at this. 304 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,401 Oops. I dropped one. 305 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,779 Don't worry about it, morty. 306 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,582 There's plenty of them, you little goofball. 307 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,033 Come here, morty! Oh, I gotcha! 308 00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:58,992 Come on, quit it, Rick! 309 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,369 Quit it! 310 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,430 Nothing wrong with just a little bit of horseplay every 311 00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:03,997 now and then, little fella. 312 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,969 Wow. What do you know? 313 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,387 Huh. That was easy. 314 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,889 Totes malotes, dawg. 315 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,158 Just kind of hard to believe, you know? 316 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,559 Believe it, morty. 317 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,912 And once again, I'm flying away with everything I can carry, 318 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:28,355 and the zigerions got nothing of mine. 319 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,880 Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a... 320 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,030 Minute to talk? 321 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,490 Yes. 322 00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,158 Look, I'm a fraud. 323 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,702 I mean, let's face it... 324 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,204 "Hungry for apples" is just a rip-off of "got milk?" 325 00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:45,497 It's almost identical. 326 00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:46,790 Yes. 327 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,083 Okay. 328 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,334 I deserve that. 329 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,713 Umm...! Guess... I'll just pack up my desk. 330 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,006 Yes. 331 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,428 Oh, my god. 332 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,055 Wait. You know what?! No! 333 00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,141 The milk people don't have a patent on 334 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,101 simple rhetorical questions! 335 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,645 There's not even a single word in "hungry for apples" that's 336 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,522 shared by "got milk?" 337 00:12:10,606 --> 00:12:12,441 It's a completely different slogan. 338 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,817 It's different! 339 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,819 And I shouldn't be fired. 340 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,529 I should be promoted! 341 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:18,840 - Yes. - Yeah! 342 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:19,864 Wait. Really? 343 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,009 - Yes. - Yes! 344 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,576 I mean, I'm... It may be derivative, 345 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,512 but it's the most successful campaign to come out of this 346 00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:25,454 agency in a long time. 347 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,955 Yes. 348 00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:29,017 I-I'm not saying it should win an award for commercials, 349 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:31,043 but it could certainly be nominated for an award 350 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,003 for commercials specifically about apples, 351 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,713 like... an appley or something. 352 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,797 Yes. 353 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:36,983 Is there really an award called the appley 354 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:38,192 for apple-related ad campaigns? 355 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,259 Yes. 356 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:40,612 - Could we nominate me? - Yes. 357 00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,387 Holy crap! 358 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,686 Get in, morty. 359 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,356 I'm gonna be able to use these processors to make some 360 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,149 real important science stuff. 361 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,903 Huh. 362 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,346 I thought I entered the code right. 363 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,956 Wha... well, what's this? 364 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,500 W-What could this possibly be? 365 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,169 Because it looks like you're inside a simulation... 366 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,089 Inside a simulation. 367 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,715 You're still on the ship. 368 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,342 Game-day bucket go boom. 369 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,928 Sir, the, uh, doctor's appointment to examine the 370 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,097 discoloration on your butthole flaps was -... 371 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,515 Too loud, Cynthia. 372 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:27,766 Too loud and too specific. 373 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:28,849 Uhh... 374 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,913 We've known how to make concentrated dark matter 375 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,897 for a long time. 376 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:39,403 But now we also know the code to your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez! 377 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,990 All your most valuable secrets will now be ours! 378 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,801 Uh, yeah, until I get home before you and change the 379 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,326 combination, you bunch of idiots! 380 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:47,804 That is why you're never getting home. 381 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:48,954 Get them! 382 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,419 Run, morty! 383 00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,469 Oh, my god! 384 00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:21,987 Ow! 385 00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,306 I got to tell you, this morning, 386 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,810 I didn't even know this award existed. 387 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,333 Now I'm holding one. 388 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,711 And... um... 389 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,548 Look, I want to say that today was the best day of my life... 390 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:45,761 But... the truth is, it's... It's more meaningful than that. 391 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:46,844 Man: My man! 392 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,138 Yes. Thank you, sir. 393 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:53,685 I... am... finally complete! 394 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:59,191 My... my... my... my man! 395 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:03,612 Aah! 396 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,946 What the hell?! 397 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:09,451 No. 398 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,452 - Jerry?! - Dad! 399 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,995 What are you doing here? 400 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,222 W-Why are you dressed like a waiter? 401 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,406 Screw it. We don't have time. 402 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,248 Come on. 403 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,750 No! 404 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300 Ohhhhh! 405 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,554 Aah! 406 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,493 All: Yes! Yes! Yes! 407 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,626 Oof! 408 00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:03,255 Man up, Jerry! 409 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,714 I may need you to work the lasers. 410 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,229 Oh, man! They're hot on our tail, Rick! 411 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,332 I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter. 412 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,917 Well, you know how to make it, too, right, Rick? 413 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:23,942 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 414 00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,318 Uh, check the engine room. 415 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,071 We just need cesium, plutonic quarks, and bottled water. 416 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:31,575 It's all here, Rick! 417 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,659 Wow, morty. Lucky break. 418 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,910 Grab that bucket. 419 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:37,164 Okay, two parts plutonic quarks, one part cesium. 420 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:38,373 Okay. Uh—huh. 421 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,877 All right. 422 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,521 Now empty the water bottle into the bucket and pour 423 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:46,548 it all into the fuel tank so we can get the hell out of here! 424 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,711 What are you doing, morty?! 425 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,758 There's no time! 426 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,058 Oh, no. 427 00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,268 What the -... 428 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,352 No! 429 00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:06,735 Oh, my god, Rick. 430 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,486 How dumb are you? 431 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,238 You're inside a simulation... 432 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,324 Of a simulation... 433 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,118 Inside another giant simulation! 434 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,331 W-We never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. 435 00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:20,999 But we do now! 436 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,709 We do now, sucka! 437 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,920 You simulated my grandson's genitalia?! 438 00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,422 Y—y-you bunch of diabolical sons of bitches! 439 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,799 Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project. 440 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,885 You said you weren't gonna tell anyone! 441 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,762 I'm never gonna live this down, am I? 442 00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,198 All right. Okay. All right, great. Wonderful. 443 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,681 You win. Can we go home now? 444 00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,391 I don't know. Can you? 445 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:39,351 Ha! Nice. 446 00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,019 Okay, okay. 447 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,063 Show this gullible turd to his shuttle. 448 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,439 I'm done with him. 449 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,762 Oh, wait. Let me get a picture. 450 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:47,943 Aww. Look at his face. 451 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,213 He's trying to figure out if he's in a simulation still. 452 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,237 Are you, Rick? 453 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,614 Are you? 454 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,033 You're not. 455 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,077 Or are you? 456 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,998 Oh, a—and, by the way, I don't have discolored butthole flaps. 457 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,416 That was part of the simulation. 458 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,584 Oh. 459 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,187 Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then? 460 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,671 Yeah! Of course you should! 461 00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:10,006 No, keep it. 462 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,370 Move it up, actually, if you can. 463 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,531 Rick: Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it. 464 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,325 So what if the most meaningful day of your life was a 465 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,810 simulation operating at minimum capacity? 466 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,270 You know what, Rick? 467 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,563 Those guys took you for a ride, too. 468 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,750 You should try having a little respect for the dummies of the universe, 469 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,567 now that you're one of us. 470 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:31,069 Maybe you're right, Jerry. 471 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,862 Maybe you're right. 472 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,574 All right, everybody. 473 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:40,120 Two parts plutonic quarks... 474 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,414 One part cesium... 475 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,959 A—and listen, I'm sorry for yelling earlier. 476 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,420 I-I couldn't ask for a better staff. 477 00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:51,840 I love you guys, and I love all your families. 478 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:55,051 And the final ingredient... 479 00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:58,596 Jerry: Whoa! 480 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,682 What the hell?! W-What happened back there? 481 00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,310 Why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Jerry? 482 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,186 Oh, yeah. You can't. 483 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,604 They blew up. 484 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,104 Jerry: So... 485 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,689 What do you think? 486 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,483 You're fired. 487 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:52,692 Wha-... 488 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:55,779 But t-this idea was tested in a state-of—the—art simulation. 489 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,489 Well, then, it was a terrible simulation. 490 00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,074 Get out. 491 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,872 Man, how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife? 492 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:07,582 Hey, morty. 493 00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,500 What? 494 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:09,583 Hey, little buddy. 495 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,419 H-H-How you doing in here right now? 496 00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,380 Aw, geez, Rick. What are you doing, man? 497 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:14,839 Y—y-you're a good kid, morty. 498 00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,925 Y—you're a real i-little c-character, morty. 499 00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,259 Oh, boy. 500 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,887 You know, I had a really rocky road today, m—morty. 501 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,014 You're my little friend, aren't you? 502 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,434 We had some good times together, huh, m-morty? 503 00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,561 We... you're a real true hero out in the field. 504 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,773 You're a ii... you're a real trooper, huh, m-m-morty? 505 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,000 Have you been drinking, Rick? 506 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,275 I really appreciate you, morty. 507 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,693 O-Okay, cool. 508 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,505 A-All right, Rick... You little son of a bitch! 509 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,364 Y—y... are you a simulation?! 510 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,740 Huh?! Are you a simulation?! 511 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,283 No! No! No! 512 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,535 You little son of a bitch! 513 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,246 I-i-I'm sorry, morty. 514 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:47,598 Y—you're a good... You're a good kid, morty. 515 00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:48,706 Geez! 516 00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:49,934 Y—you're a good... You're a good kid. 517 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,042 Oh, my god! 518 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,712 W-W-What the hell? 519 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:55,797 What a life. 520 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,967 Did you get any of that? 521 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,885 It's a good-a show!