1
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:06,257
Hey, Rick.

2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,318
I have to make a project for
the science fair this weekend.

3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,927
You think you could help me out?

4
00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,731
- Whatever.
- Well, I mean, traditionally...

5
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:14,182
Science fairs are
a father-son thing.

6
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:17,059
Well, scientifically,
traditions are an idiot thing.

7
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,644
Morty, I think it would
be fun for you

8
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:21,480
to work on a science project
with your dad.

9
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,443
Uh...

10
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,196
Yeah, dad.
Why don't we do it together?

11
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:31,073
Yes! You backed the right horse
on this one, son.

12
00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:33,284
We'll get out the crayons,
brew some coffee,

13
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,703
and knock this thing out
in two or three days.

14
00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,623
What is my purpose?

15
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,875
Pass the butter.

16
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,961
Thank you.

17
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,630
I popping I

18
00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,341
Dad, I need a ride to work.

19
00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,218
Maybe Rick can give you a ride.

20
00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,094
I'm helping morty with science.

21
00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,096
- I'm busy.
- Doing what?

22
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,641
Uh, anything else.

23
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,643
What is my purpose?

24
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,770
You pass butter.

25
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,480
Oh, my god.

26
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,523
Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.

27
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,393
Since when do you have a job?

28
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:41,394
Since last week.

29
00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,288
It's part-time at this
little vintage thrift store.

30
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,648
My boss is this really
smart, eccentric old man

31
00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,942
that treats me nice
and values me.

32
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,819
Meow. Can't wait to meet...

33
00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:51,696
This fascinating character.

34
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,323
Please don't.

35
00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:57,201
Oh. Well, when did this
stop being jamba juice?

36
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,453
I've just recently opened
for business,

37
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:01,622
mister, um, goldenfold.

38
00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:02,999
You know my name?

39
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:04,792
That's disarming.

40
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:07,628
I also know you long
for female company.

41
00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:10,756
You know, it has been
lonely since the divorce.

42
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,676
Some voids can't be filled
with jamba juice.

43
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:17,263
This aftershave makes a
man quite irresistible to women.

44
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,723
Free of charge.

45
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,434
One never pays here...
Not with money.

46
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,436
Nothing to read into
there. Thanks!

47
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,479
Sorry I'm late, Mr. Needful.

48
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:28,733
This is my grandpa, Rick.
He was just leaving.

49
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:29,859
Huh.

50
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,736
Tell me, Rick,
what do youdesire?

51
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,738
Eh, I make my own stuff.

52
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,614
So, what are you...
Like, the devil?

53
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,283
- What? Sorry?
- I don't know.

54
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:40,494
Store comes out of nowhere,
all the shit's old and creepy.

55
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,455
Are you the devil?
A demon? Leprechaun?

56
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,332
- Grandpa Rick!
- Hey, I'm notjudging.

57
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:46,334
Just like shoot straight.
I'm a man of science.

58
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:49,170
Ah, then perhaps you could
make use of this.

59
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:53,174
This microscope reveals things
beyond comprehension.

60
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,476
Grandpa, go home and drink.

61
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,313
Why don't we do a model
of the solar system?

62
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,374
That's what my dad did with me
when I was your age.

63
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,900
Oh, okay.

64
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,569
You know, Rick's in his lab,
making cyborgs

65
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,905
and wormholes
and all that weird stuff,

66
00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,740
but this is real science.

67
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,909
A man and his boy,
making planets.

68
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,495
Hey, how about we use
a ping-pong ball for pluto?

69
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,954
And then Jupiter...

70
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:26,540
Uh, actually, I don't
think pluto's a planet.

71
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,919
Of course pluto's a planet, son.

72
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,796
I learned that
in the third grade.

73
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,547
Well, yeah, but you
know they changed it.

74
00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:35,508
Morty, nobody changed
the planets.

75
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,927
I just googled it.
Pluto's not a planet.

76
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,929
They changed it in 2006.

77
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:42,640
Yeah, I heard about that, morty.

78
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,518
- And I disagree.
- You disagree?

79
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:48,020
That's right. It's possible
to disagree in science, morty.

80
00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:49,688
Pluto was a planet.

81
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,412
Some committee of
fancy assholes disagree.

82
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,359
I disagree back.
Give me a ping-pong ball.

83
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,820
Um, okay. I-I just have to...

84
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,663
Go find Rick and go
over my head about pluto?

85
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:58,864
No. Geez!

86
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:01,283
I just gotta go
to the bathroom. Damn.

87
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,161
Oh. Okay, good.

88
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:05,830
This is gonna be fun.

89
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,714
Hey, morty, let me—- let me...

90
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,584
Let me ask you a question
real quick.

91
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:12,420
Does evil exist, andifso,

92
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,171
can one detect and measure it?

93
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006
- Um...
- Rhetorical question, morty.

94
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,384
The answer's "yes, you just
have to be a genius."

95
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,302
Cute. Your sister's boss
gave me a microscope

96
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:21,887
that would have
made me retarded.

97
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,681
Ooh. Oh, boy, Rick.

98
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,742
I'm don't think you're allowed
to say that word, you know?

99
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,060
Morty, I'm not disparaging
the differently abled.

100
00:04:28,144 --> 00:04:30,479
I'm stating the fact that
if I had used this microscope,

101
00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,123
it would have made me
mentally retarded.

102
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,567
Okay, yeah, but I don't think
it's about logic, Rick.

103
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,545
I think the word has just
become a symbolic issue for

104
00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:38,988
powerful groups that are
doing the right thing.

105
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,698
Well, that's retarded.

106
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,634
- What are you talking about?
- Apparently, nothing.

107
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:44,618
You asked him if
pluto's a planet, didn't you?

108
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:45,703
- No!
- It's not.

109
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,204
- Shut up, Rick.
- Whoa.

110
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:48,873
I don't care what anyone says.

111
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,709
If it can be a planet,
it can be a planet again.

112
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,628
Planet. Planet, planet, planet.

113
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:57,131
Stay scientific, Jerry.

114
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,759
This aftershave made women
want me,

115
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,761
but it also made me impotent!

116
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:05,473
A price for everything,
Mr. Goldenfold.

117
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,808
A price for everything.

118
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,520
[Gaspsi oh, my god!

119
00:05:11,604 --> 00:05:14,231
How could I not
see this coming?!

120
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:17,985
My lust!

121
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,196
My greed!

122
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,781
I deserved this!

123
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:25,784
This serum should
counteract the negative effects.

124
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:28,496
Holy cats!
Ladies, let's get out of here.

125
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,498
I haven't learned a thing!

126
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:31,916
Here.

127
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,667
You can have this back.

128
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:34,919
You didn't use it?

129
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,795
Sure I did... to develop this.

130
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,881
It detects and catalogs
all your "twilight zone,"

131
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,383
ray bradbury,
"Friday the 13th" the series

132
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,052
voodoo crap magic.

133
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,613
I thought you might
want it so you didn't

134
00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:47,056
accidentally
sell anybody, say...

135
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,600
A typewriter that generates
best-selling murder mysteries

136
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,520
and then makes the murders
happen in real life?

137
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:53,479
- Ooh.
- Be quiet.

138
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,897
Don't you want to make sure

139
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,482
people know what they're
getting?

140
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,609
You're not intentionally
selling...

141
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,402
Beauty cream that makes
ugly ladies pretty

142
00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:02,655
but also makes them blind?

143
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,657
I find this all quite
preposterous.

144
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,659
Oh, I say, good sir.
Oh, harrumph.

145
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:09,620
Oh, oh!

146
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,121
That's beautiful.

147
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:13,958
You know it's gonna be wearing
you in three hours?

148
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,709
Do I need to call the police?

149
00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,127
Here, you can use my phone.

150
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,671
Don't worry, it won't
make you deaf

151
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,005
because I'm not a hack.

152
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,423
Hey!

153
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,468
You think you're fucking
so great!

154
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,345
Stop it! No!

155
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:28,222
Fuck yeah, man.

156
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,974
Stop it right now!

157
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,059
Grandpa Rick,
I like working here.

158
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,228
- You work for the devil.
- So what?

159
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,896
- Both: "So what?"
- Yes!

160
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,565
So what if he's the devil, Rick?

161
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,233
At least the devil has a job.

162
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,985
At least he's active
in the community.

163
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,653
What do you do?

164
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,738
You eat our food
and make gadgets.

165
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:47,116
Buh—bye.

166
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,617
Whoops.

167
00:06:48,701 --> 00:06:50,536
I giggles I

168
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,705
I'm sorry, Mr. Needful.
I'll clean that up.

169
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,558
I don't know what I can do
about the ghost lady

170
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,222
- that came out of it, but...
- It's fine.

171
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,127
Summer, you know,
your grandfather's right.

172
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,921
This store curses people.
That's my business.

173
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,340
Well, yeah.
Fast-food gives people diabetes,

174
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,175
and clothing stores have
sweatshops.

175
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,386
Is there a company hiring
teenagers that isn'z'evil?

176
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,096
This is my firstjob.

177
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,806
You've been nice to me,
Mr. Needful.

178
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,600
You respect me.

179
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:15,102
Please, call me "the devil."

180
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,937
I'd rather not, actually.

181
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,772
Yes, perhaps not during
business hours.

182
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,774
I told you, I want to
file a declaration

183
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:22,943
that pluto is a planet.

184
00:07:23,027 --> 00:07:25,279
Well, then my son's going to
fail his science class,

185
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,489
and when that happens,
I'm suing you first.

186
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,826
I think I know what the "a"
in NASA. Stands for.

187
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,704
- Dad, what's your endgame?
- Ain't no game, sucka.

188
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,515
Why don't we just make the solar
system with eight planets?

189
00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:36,749
It's even easier.

190
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:39,918
Sure, sure, and why don't we
just burn Galileo at the stake

191
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,920
for saying the sun is round?

192
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:44,131
Science isn't always easy,
morty.

193
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,343
Whoa! Whoa!

194
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:48,969
What the hell?!

195
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,401
I'm king flippy nips,
ruler of pluto.

196
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,737
We discovered you quite
by accident

197
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,406
during routine surveillance
of your world.

198
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:12,451
You really gave it to those
guys at NASA.

199
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:13,952
I was —- you know,

200
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,288
sometimes science is
about conviction.

201
00:08:16,372 --> 00:08:18,791
It'd like to introduce you
to a few people

202
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,793
that very much agree with you.

203
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,628
Oh, I...

204
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,922
Plutonians.

205
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,965
Jerry Smith is a scientist
from earth,

206
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:30,469
where he's creating a model
of our solar system.

207
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,806
Jerry, tell pluto
about your decision.

208
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:38,018
Um... pluto's a planet.

209
00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:42,272
Pluto's a fucking planet, bitch!

210
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,818
Oh, man. This is definitely
gonna go to his head.

211
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,954
If it's athletic prowess
you desire, principal vagina,