1 00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:02,604 - Summer: Bye, mom! Bye, dad! - Morty: Drive carefully! 2 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:03,796 Have fun, you two. 3 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,465 Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our... 4 00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,593 Titan/c-themed getaway. 5 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,469 Lefslose the 'tude, please. 6 00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,263 It's supposed to be romantic. 7 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,586 Speaking of disasters, dad, we are leaving you in charge. 8 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,267 I know, c—can we wrap this up? 9 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,603 Morty and I [burps] have some synthetic laser eels 10 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,812 oxidizing in the garage. 11 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,480 Hey, don't blow me off. 12 00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,316 I am drawing a line, okay? 13 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,526 Any damage to this house or these children 14 00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,570 when we get back, and... 15 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,614 N-No more adventures with morty. 16 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,782 Aw, geez, Rick, if my mom's the one saying it, 17 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,784 then you know it's pretty serious this time. 18 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,328 - Both: That's right. - Wait. What? 19 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,330 Listen, you have my word as a caregiver, 20 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,248 everything's gonna be fine. 21 00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:41,959 And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever. 22 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,753 It's like that old song 23 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,796 "blomp blomp-a noop noop a—noop noop noop." 24 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,049 Y-You guys know that song? From tiny rogerts? 25 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,634 You never heard of it? 26 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,094 You know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s? 27 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:53,596 No-nobody? 28 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,640 A-All right, whatever. Look, who cares? 29 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,767 Just go on your stupid trip. 30 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,186 Not one thing out of place. 31 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:03,397 [Engine turns over] 32 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,150 Not a single thing. 33 00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:12,615 [ Bubbling, crackling] 34 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,412 Well, we're past the point of no return. 35 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:19,872 I'm going to have a party. 36 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,407 Summer: I found jello. Can you sneak your mom's vodka? 37 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,742 Yes, she does. I saw it in your laundry room. 38 00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:59,578 Listen, you can't both be in denial about it. 39 00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,247 - Okay, bye. - Summer! 40 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,374 You can't throw a party! Remember what mom said? 41 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,834 Yeah, if anything gets messed up, 42 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,237 you and grandpa Rick get punished. 43 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,479 I'm only a human being, morty. 44 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,463 Rick, tell summer she can't have a party! 45 00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,382 Uh, summer, you can't have a party. 46 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,050 - [ Scoffs ] - Because [burps] 47 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,719 I'm having a party, b—i-i—i-itch! 48 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,595 Oh, what?! Rick, you can't! 49 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,639 What do you mean you're having a party? 50 00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:20,683 Are some glip glops from the third dimension 51 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,810 going to come over and play cards or something? 52 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,020 "Glip glop?“ 53 00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:25,747 you're lucky a traflorkian doesn't hear you say that. 54 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,315 Is that like their n-word? 55 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:29,042 It's like the n-word and the c-word had a baby 56 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,985 and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews. 57 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,862 Listen, I think the three of us could just, 58 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,840 you know, have a nice time, like, just hanging out, 59 00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,584 and, you know, doing a little bonding and... 60 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,326 Screw that. This is my chance... 61 00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:40,161 To gain some footing with the cool kids. 62 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,621 That's why you party? Boy, you really are 17. 63 00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:44,790 - Why do you party? - To get [burps]... 64 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,959 Wr—wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son! 65 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,837 Just keep your Sci-Fi friends away from my awesome ones. 66 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,131 Yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away 67 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,508 from my canapes. 68 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,636 After dinner, 77'z'an/02will attach to the rail system 69 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,013 near our replica iceberg, 70 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,890 and the hydraulics encased in these tubes 71 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,726 will execute a controlled sink into the icy depths. 72 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,770 A rail system seems archaic 73 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,356 for an attraction this impressive. 74 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,232 Are you sure the ship will sink? 75 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:11,901 I can assure you the ship will sink, 76 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,819 as it has a thousand times before. 77 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:17,531 - It is UN-unsinkable. - Ooh! 78 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,784 Look, it's the line for the bow! 79 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,660 Jerry, I'd love to just kick back 80 00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,496 with a Margarita and read. 81 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,515 Do you mind if I skip the whole "king of the world" bit? 82 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,541 Well, it's not the "king of the world" bit. 83 00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:28,793 That's Jack and fabrizio. 84 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,087 This is where Rose says, "I'm flying, Jack!" 85 00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,505 But whatever. 86 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,774 I can be the only one to do it alone. 87 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,883 Well, what about her? Excuse me, ma'am. 88 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,968 Would you like to take my place in line? 89 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,346 I, uh —- I could get into trouble. 90 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,139 We won't tell. 91 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:45,267 So... you're a titan/c fanatic? 92 00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:47,603 Oh, yes. I've worked here since it opened, 93 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,814 but I've never been able to participate. 94 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,732 Happy to help... Rose. 95 00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:53,484 ! Giggles I 96 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,486 I love watching bukkake. 97 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,756 I mean, like, I don't know if! Personally would ever do it... 98 00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,740 - Brad! Hey! - Yo. 99 00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:02,284 Brad is here! Quick, make my hair look drunk. 100 00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:04,787 Check it out. Tammy's already drunk. 101 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,498 Cool. 102 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,542 The beacon was activated. 103 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,378 - Who is in danger? - Ugh! Grandpa! 104 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,921 Birdperson! 105 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,673 I am pleased there is no emergency. 106 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,425 Oh, there's an emergency, ahnght 107 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,968 a pussy emergency! 108 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,845 When's the last time you got laid, 'pers? 109 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:24,306 It has been a... challenging mating season for birdperson. 110 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,434 Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, player. 111 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,578 Go have some fun out there birdp... bird... birdperson. 112 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,604 Oh, man, how many people did you invite, Rick? 113 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:35,067 Uh... people? Mm, six. 114 00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:37,319 Yo! What up, my glip glops?! 115 00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:38,863 Oh, man! 116 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,198 [Electronic music plays] 117 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,784 [Breathing heavily] Oh! 118 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,662 Y—y-you know there's a garbage, right? 119 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:49,957 Hey, uh, what the hell?! 120 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,810 Ooh. That's why you never invite a floopy doop 121 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:55,004 and a shmoopy doop to the same party. 122 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,882 [Bed Springs squeaking ] 123 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,758 Oh, oh, 9... Oh, that's disgusting! 124 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,122 You guys are in my parents' bed! 125 00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:03,095 Oh. Sorry. I'm not feeling too well. 126 00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:05,222 I just needed to lie down for a bit. 127 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,600 Oh. Okay. S-S-Sorry. [ Chuckles ] 128 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:09,393 [Groans] 129 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,312 Oh, my god! Are you kidding me?! 130 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,940 The thing people don't realize about the gear wars 131 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:18,235 is that it was never really about the gears at all. 132 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,070 Uh-huh. Yeah. No, no, to-totally. 133 00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,572 Rick, you gotta stop —- 134 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,282 morty! Have you met gearhead? 135 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,909 - Hey, how's... - Morty here, he -... 136 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,792 He would love to hear all about the gear wars. 137 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,705 How familiar are you with the gear wars, exactly? 138 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,624 Uh... not at all. 139 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,626 Oh, boy. I envy you. 140 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:37,963 Okay, it was about 754 years ago... 141 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,389 Oh, hey, morty! H-Have you met my buddy scropon? 142 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:48,724 Not again, Rick. 143 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,809 That last guy droned on for 20 minutes, you know? 144 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,704 And meanwhile, the whole house is being destroyed! 145 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,539 Whoa, morty, this guy's entire planet was destroyed. 146 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,106 Have a little perspective. 147 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,400 Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro! 148 00:05:58,484 --> 00:05:59,860 Aw! Squanchy! 149 00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:02,071 Is there a good place for me to squanch around here? 150 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,406 Squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want, man. 151 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,450 Mi casa es su casa, dawg! 152 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:08,953 All right! I like your squanch! 153 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,247 Uh, Rick, what exactly is "squanching"? 154 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,082 Morty, listen... we've had a lot 155 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,893 of really cool adventures over the last year, 156 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,544 but it's time to relax. 157 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,021 Yeah, if I relax now, there might not 158 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,421 even be any more adventures! 159 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,048 Jesus, morty, you're bumming me out. 160 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,776 Can't we just pretend like everything's fine 161 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,426 for a few hours, enjoy ourselves, 162 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,387 and then worry about all this later? 163 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,264 Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Rick. 164 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,266 You know, you like not caring about stuff. 165 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:33,894 You know, wh-wh-what's in this for me? 166 00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:36,522 [Soft music plays ] 167 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,400 [ Indistinct conversations ] 168 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,194 Jessica. 169 00:06:42,278 --> 00:06:43,988 Knock it off, slow mobius! 170 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,823 Ha ha! Sorry, dude! 171 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,910 I'm just trying to show off my powers, bro! 172 00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:51,579 I can't believe she's here. 173 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,306 Well, what are you doing standing here, morty? 174 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,915 Go. Talk to her. 175 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:56,309 Tonight, the only adventure you're on 176 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,085 is your cusping manhood. 177 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,921 [ Both laugh ] 178 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,048 Oh, Rose. 179 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:06,594 Wheel 180 00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,053 is that what I think it is? 181 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,115 Yes, every couple gets to re—create Jack's drowning 182 00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,016 at the end of the movie. 183 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,100 It's so romantic. 184 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,019 I can't wait to do that with Beth. 185 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,895 I don't know, Jerry. With all due respect... 186 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,957 It seems like your wife may not be that interested. 187 00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:20,399 [Gasdsi look! 188 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,693 Iceberg, right ahead! The buffet is now closed. 189 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,030 Iceberg, right ahead! The buffet is now closed. 190 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,866 Uh, sir? There's not a problem. 191 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,243 What do you mean there's noz'a problem? 192 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:33,203 The guidance system isn't putting us 193 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,955 on a direct collision course. 194 00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:37,958 This ship is about to completely miss the giant iceberg! 195 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,169 Well, do something! Steer into it! 196 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,421 I'm trying! 197 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:47,051 It's too late. Ladies and gentlemen... 198 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,719 Don't brace yourselves. 199 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,639 - [ All gasping] - Jerry: No! What happened?! 200 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,932 Woman: Their rail system must have failed. 201 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,934 [Indistinct murmuring] 202 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,521 Totally gonna get laid tonight. 203 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,190 I like your feathers. 204 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,168 They are designed to attract the attention of the female. 205 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,735 It's working. 206 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,403 Tammy, I should let you know 207 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,739 I just got out of a highly intense soul bond 208 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,407 with my previous spirit mate. 209 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,951 I'm not looking to get into a soul bond. 210 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,287 I'm just looking for... 211 00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:17,956 I believe birdperson can arrange that. 212 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,626 Hey, summer, haven't seen you at flute practice in a while. 213 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,628 Summer, don't tell me you're friends with her. 214 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,296 Are you kidding me? 215 00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:26,298 I don't even know what she's doing here. 216 00:08:26,382 --> 00:08:28,300 Whoa. Not cool, summer. This is a party. 217 00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:30,010 Everybody should be welcome. 218 00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:32,554 [Crashes] 219 00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:34,640 Oh, great. Who invited abradolph lincoler? 220 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,934 I thought everyone was welcome. 221 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,602 It's not the same, summer. 222 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,145 Lincoler is a crazed maniac... 223 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,064 Just a misguided effort of mine to create 224 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,787 a morally neutral superleader by combining 225 00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:45,734 the DNA of Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln. 226 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:49,697 Turns out it [burps] just adds up to a lame, weird loser. 227 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:52,366 Rick, you brought me into this world, 228 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,201 a suffering abomination 229 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,037 tortured by the duality of its being. 230 00:08:57,121 --> 00:08:59,164 But I shall finally know peace 231 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:01,709 when I watch the life drain from your wretched body! 232 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,085 Whoa. What's up, man? 233 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,003 I have no quarrel with you, boy. 234 00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,839 "Boy"? What's that supposed to mean? 235 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,257 It's just —- i-look, 236 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,135 I-I don't know how you thought I meant it, but... 237 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,511 Don't look at me, dude. 238 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,972 Look, I'm half-Abraham Lincoln, so -... 239 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,224 So I should get on my knees and kiss your ass?! 240 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,892 Well, no, but... 241 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,894 - You know? - What do I know? 242 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,605 That the third reich will reign for a thousand years? 243 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,816 - Leave him alone, Brad. - Stay out of this, Jessica! 244 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,152 Kick his ass, Brad! Kick his ass! 245 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,405 All: Kick his ass! Kick his ass! 246 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,364 Brad! 247 00:09:32,448 --> 00:09:33,907 Stupid! [Grunts] 248 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:35,617 Rick! 249 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,911 I just did you a favor, morty. 250 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,581 Sorry about all that. 251 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,207 Rick has some really strange friends. 252 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,752 Ugh! Brad is such a jerk. 253 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,754 He's always trying to prove what a man he is. 254 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:50,299 I just want to find somebody nice and sweet. 255 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,427 Jessica, can I show you something? 256 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,556 - Wow! Look at all this stuff. - Yeah. 257 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,975 This is me and my grandpa Rick's Sci-Fi workshop. 258 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,560 Check this out. 259 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,395 [ Projector beeping ] 260 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:05,063 It's beautiful. 261 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:07,065 You know, Jessica, there's something 262 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,234 I've always wanted to tell you. 263 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:12,196 - What's that, morty? - I think you're the most —- 264 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,072 no, that... those weird sounds 265 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:17,743 coming from the closet over there. 266 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:21,622 [ Closet rattling ] 267 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,915 - Oh, my god! - Aah! 268 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,583 Hey, I'm squanching in here! 269 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,543 Oh, my god! Oh, that is so disgusting! 270 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,129 Ow! Oh! Oh, crap! 271 00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:31,632 [Device warbling ] 272 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,598 [Warbling ] 273 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,059 [All screaming] 274 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,816 Huh. Big star in the sky. 275 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:51,819 [Inhales sharply] Oxygen-rich atmosphere. 276 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,821 Giant testicle monsters. 277 00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,239 We'll be fine! Let's party! 278 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,324 [All cheering] 279 00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,958 J” just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got j“ 280 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,835 j” just shake that ass... j” 281 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,254 summer: I swear to god, morty, if it weren't for the fact 282 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,137 that everyone's still having a blast in there, 283 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:14,091 I would be so furious with you right now. 284 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,968 Oh, man. Y-You hear that, morty? 285 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,931 You really lucked out with summer o-on that one. 286 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,055 How are you guys not freaking out right now?! 287 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,683 T-The whole house is sitting in another dimension! 288 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,935 I-I mean, w-what the hell are we supposed to do?! 289 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,812 M-M-Mom and dad are gonna kill us! 290 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,273 - I'm losing it here, Rick! - Relax, morty, relax! 291 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,858 It's gonna be fine. 292 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,151 All we have to do is go out and find us 293 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,653 some kalaxian crystals. 294 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,655 [Detector beeping ] Oh, shit, motherfucker! 295 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,282 Kalaxian crystals, morty, 296 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,741 just a few miles south of here. 297 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,285 Okay. Let's go, then. 298 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,263 W-W-We got to go get those crystals right now, Rick. 299 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,205 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Morty, I-I can't go with you. 300 00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,874 I got to hang back 301 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,167 and make sure everything stays cool here, you know? 302 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:52,337 I mean, who knows what... what if somebody breaks something? 303 00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,298 Yeah. Me too. I should stay. 304 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,716 You guys have any aspirin? 305 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,467 Oh, hey, morty, this is perfect! 306 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,386 You can take lincoler with you. 307 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,069 Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'm injured. 308 00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:02,764 Shut up, lincoler. 309 00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:05,058 It's the least you can do for wrecking the living room. 310 00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:07,561 Yeah! And, Nancy, you should go, too. 311 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,479 What? Why... why me? 312 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,815 Because, uh, you're... 313 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,985 You're so good at playing the flute. 314 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,989 Captain: Sorry for the inconvenience, folks. 315 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,158 We should resume sinking shortly. 316 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,160 In the meantime, please, stay on the ship 317 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,038 and enjoy a complimentary plate of James cameronion rings. 318 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,206 Great. Not only is the ship not sinking, 319 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,083 but now the fourth wall has been broken. 320 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,211 [Sighs] I am gonna go back to the room to finish my book. 321 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,005 You should find that Lucy woman. 322 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,214 But —- but —- 323 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,216 [ clears throat] You see, Jerry? 324 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,885 May I show you something? 325 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,511 Had everything gone as planned, 326 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,221 this entire area would be underwater. 327 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,515 [Sighs] I would have liked to see it. 328 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,185 This trip has been a "Titanic" failure. 329 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,270 Get it? Ooh! 330 00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,522 - Draw me, Jerry. - Oh, boy. 331 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,232 Lucy, wow. 332 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,944 Uh, this isn't what! Had in mind. 333 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,695 But it's the perfect moment. 334 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,073 We've been dreaming about this for 16 years. 335 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,950 Um, not like this. Not -— not with you. 336 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,952 [Chuckles nervously] 337 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,954 [Gun cocks] You are gonna draw me. 338 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:10,123 Then you're going to fuck me in that car over there. 339 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,042 It's weird, 'cause I definitely think 340 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,044 that all men are created equal. 341 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,254 But, at the same time... - Okay! 342 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,423 Um, the crystals should be really close. 343 00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:19,967 There they are! 344 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,844 Wait. Something's not right. 345 00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,304 [ Creature growls ] 346 00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:25,514 [ Screams ] 347 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,974 [ Creature roars ] 348 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,101 Get the crystals! I'll handle the beast! 349 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,896 Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes! 350 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,439 [Grunting ] 351 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,274 [Gasdsi summer's gonna like me again. 352 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,234 [Creature growling ] 353 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,320 [Grunts] 354 00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:42,948 [Grunts] 355 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,242 Lincoler, come on! Let's get out of here! 356 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,911 Mein journey is over, morty. 357 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:52,916 [Groaning] I have something important to tell you. 358 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,503 J” and the gears, they turned for a thousand years j” 359 00:13:56,586 --> 00:14:00,007 j” until the dark day that they stopped j” 360 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,009 [gasdsi Rick, I got them! 361 00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:03,427 I got the crystals! 362 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,095 All right! You did it, morty. 363 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,389 Rick, wait! There's something you need to know. 364 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,141 I couldn't have done it without lincoler. 365 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,493 He said that he was really sorry 366 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,144 and that he loves you like a father. 367 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,562 He only wanted you to accept him, 368 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,022 and he hopes that his final act 369 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,440 would redeem him in your eyes. 370 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,942 He sacrificed himself to save all of us, Rick. 371 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,569 He died. 372 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,362 Well, at least he didn't die in vain. 373 00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:25,115 He got these crystals. 374 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,450 [ Sniffs ] 375 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,493 And these babies just saved this lame-ass party! 376 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,037 Wubba, iubba, dub, dub! 377 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,872 Play something. S—somebody, play something. 378 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,166 [ Clicks ] Wait a minute. What? 379 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:37,169 [Hip-hop music plays] 380 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,088 J” put your right foot forward and your left foot back j” 381 00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,841 j” then slide around like on a nordictrack j” 382 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,177 j” move to the left. Step to the right j” 383 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,930 j” wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light j” 384 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,183 j” it's the, it's the j” 385 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,810 j” it's the Rick dance j” 386 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,771 j” it's the, it's the j” 387 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,647 j” it's the Rick dance j” 388 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,441 slow mobius, hit me with the clock beam! 389 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:04,362 [Warbling ] 390 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:06,907 J” it's the, it's the j” 391 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,158 j” it's the Rick dance j” 392 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,494 that's the Rick dance! All right! 393 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,912 [ Burps] Whoa, man! 394 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,913 [All cheering] 395 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,457 What the hell was that?! 396 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,460 I thought those crystals were supposed to help us 397 00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:18,835 get home or something! 398 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,088 What? No, no, no, I can get us home whenever I want to. 399 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,608 But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them? 400 00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:25,342 I'm starting to come down, morty. 401 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,220 Crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high. 402 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,013 [Door slides open, morty grunts] 403 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,015 That's what I think of your crystals, Rick! 404 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,850 Oh, morty, you idiot! 405 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,186 Does anybody else have any more k-lax? 406 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,562 B-Birdperson? Uh, squanchy? 407 00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:39,231 Don't squaunch at me. 408 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,525 All right, everybody, party is officially over! 409 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,527 Rick, take us home now. 410 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,904 All right, fine, morty, you party pooper buzzkill! 411 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,322 Boo, boo! Morty sucks! 412 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,158 Boo! You suck, whatever your name is. 413 00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:52,160 Rick: Morty, you're the worst, morty. 414 00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:54,412 But these gears just started turnin'. 415 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,289 Lucy: Almost finished, Jerry? 416 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,333 Uh, almost. 417 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,628 I haven't quite captured your beautiful eyes. 418 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,380 I'm sure it's good enough. Move! 419 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,048 Every weekend, Jacks and roses have 420 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,883 their titan/c experience in this car, 421 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,427 and I have to mop it up. 422 00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:12,305 The floor drops out to make it easier. 423 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,015 But now it's my turn. 424 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,685 We're going to get it nice and steamy in there, 425 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,146 and I'm going to slam my hand on the steam 426 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,897 and leave a nice handprint, 427 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,567 and then you're going to love inside of me. 428 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,443 No mess. No clean. 429 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,112 [Grunts] 430 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,446 Beth! 431 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,032 Bet you're glad I think kindles are dumb now. 432 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,744 Beth: I can't help but feel a little guilty. 433 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,913 I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist. 434 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,915 What does a rapist look like exactly, Beth? 435 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,917 Is it a slavic man wearing a denim jacket 436 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,587 with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne 437 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,298 wafting over his blister-pocked lips? 438 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,382 What? 439 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,969 Well, at least you got all this free stuff. 440 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,972 Should be enough to satisfy your fifan/cjones for a while. 441 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,600 [Grunts] I'm not going to fit. 442 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,352 Beth, listen to me. You're going to get outta here. 443 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:01,062 You're gonna go on, and -... 444 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,606 Jerry, just leave the door. 445 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,316 It's not a door, Beth. It's debris. 446 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,151 I don't care. Just leave it. 447 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,945 Yeah. Okay. 448 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,494 [Laughs evilly] "Cape fear"! 449 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,079 "Cape fear"! 450 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,081 I'm... I'm doing... i'm... I'm going to do like 451 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:21,625 from "cape fear." 452 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,501 [Grunts, groans] 453 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:26,504 [ Moaning, screaming] 454 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,344 Squanchy: Hey, squanchers! 455 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,888 The party's squanching on at my place! 456 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,723 [All cheering] 457 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,391 - Cool. - I'm coming, too. 458 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,268 Uh, no. You're not squanchy enough... 459 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:42,229 For a squanchy party. — what? 460 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:43,939 Nancy told us what a bitch you are. 461 00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,857 Guys, seriously. Nancy? 462 00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:47,776 Summer, you're a bad person. 463 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,945 All you care about is having popular people like you. 464 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,947 That's not what abradolph lincoler stood for. 465 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:55,283 Well, i-it was hard to pin down whathe stood for, 466 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:58,745 but it's certainly not what he died for. 467 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,999 Next time I party, I'm just gonna focus 468 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,001 on getting totally wrecked. 469 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,795 You're so wise. 470 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,546 [Mumbles] 471 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,423 May I assist you with that? 472 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,133 Uh, sure, yeah. Thanks. 473 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:15,053 Morty, do you know what "wubba iubba dub dub" means? 474 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,639 Uh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase. 475 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,516 It's not nonsense at all. 476 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,768 In my people's tongue, it means, 477 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,728 "I am in great pain. Please help me." 478 00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:26,273 Well, I got news for you. He's saying it ironically. 479 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,358 No, morty. Your grandfather is, indeed, 480 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,402 in very deep pain. 481 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,404 That is why he must numb himself. 482 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,197 - Come on, um... - Birdperson. 483 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,700 Come on, birdperson. Rick's not that complicated. 484 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,618 He's just a huge asshole. 485 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:41,246 Then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed 486 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,248 to continue on your adventures together? 487 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,583 It appears fate has presented you with an opportunity 488 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,335 to free yourself of Rick forever. 489 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,963 You know what? You're right. I shouldn't even care. 490 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,590 This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. 491 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,301 I'm sick of having adventures with Rick. 492 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:55,802 My people have another saying -... 493 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,429 "Gubba nub nub doo rah kah." 494 00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,807 It means, "whatever lets you sleep at night." 495 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,268 [Cellphone beeps] Guys, mom and dad are, like, 496 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,936 right around the corner. 497 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,772 This is your moment, morty. Choose wisely. 498 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,149 Tammy! 499 00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,818 [ Grunts ] Caw! 500 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,283 Summer: Wow. We are so screwed. 501 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,177 - Rick, wake up. - Huh? What? Wait? What? Stop. 502 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,745 Rick, you got to do something quick. 503 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,122 - My parents are home. - [Groans] 504 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,499 Uh, all... all right. All right. Hold... hold on. 505 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:27,751 [Gulping] 506 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,419 Ahh! So good. 507 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,646 Oh, my god. They're walking up the driveway. 508 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,839 - Bring me the thing. - What... what thing? 509 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,507 The thing. The thing. 510 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,277 It's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it. 511 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:37,761 - It... it... it beeps. - Rick! 512 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,405 That describes everything in your garage! 513 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,347 Do you mean this? 514 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,975 Summer for [burps] for the win. 515 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,602 All right, that should do it. 516 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,897 - Whoa! What did you do? - Uh, s-see for yourself. 517 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,607 Whoa! 518 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,484 Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time. 519 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,361 Yeah, and slow mobius thinks he's all that. 520 00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,820 For how long? 521 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,781 I don't know. How long do you guys want? 522 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,240 A week? A month? 523 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:02,869 Can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel? 524 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,372 [ Mid—tempo rock music plays ] 525 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:26,184 [ Epic music plays] 526 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,867 - Rick: Worst movie ever. - Summer: Dumb. 527 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:29,312 Ooh, boy, what a waste of time. 528 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,814 [ Laughter] 529 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,732 Get it? You know, 'cause it's frozen. 530 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:34,567 This has been so much fun. 531 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,403 Hey, Rick. You know, this whole time, 532 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,071 I haven't once heard you say that 533 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,799 "wubba iubba dub dub" thing that you usually say. 534 00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:41,199 Don't need to. 535 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,992 I have [burps] a new catchphrase. 536 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,828 Oh, yeah? What —- what's that, Rick? 537 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,996 - I love my grandkids. - Both: Aww. 538 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,873 Psych! Just kidding... My new catchphrase is, 539 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,917 "I don't give a fuck!" 540 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,920 J” just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got j” 541 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,881 j” just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see what you got j” 542 00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,758 roll credits! 543 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:00,802 J” just shake that a... j” roll the credits! Go! 544 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,138 J” just shake that ass j” that's the end of season one! 545 00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:05,056 That's the end, motherfucker! 546 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,350 "I don't give a fuck" is my new catchphrase! 547 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:08,810 Fuck you! 548 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,854 That's season one! Boom! 549 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,731 Season one up in your face, motherfucker! 550 00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:14,816 Yeah! 551 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,601 Revenge. 552 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,603 What?! 553 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,983 Man: Party! 554 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,526 Whoo, baby! 555 00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:02,238 Lincoler: [Groans] Please, stop! 556 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,615 Hey, brah! 557 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,617 I don't understand. Are you enjoying this? 558 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,368 Do you like this? 559 00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:09,370 Yeah, you know it, dawg! 560 00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:11,080 [ Lincoler retches] 561 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,499 Whoo, baby! 562 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,460 Did you get any of that? 563 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,504 It's a good-a show!