1 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,346 [Vacuum running] 2 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:14,682 Hurry up, morty. 3 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,350 Grandpa's about to un—freeze time. 4 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:18,603 You really should be cleaning from top to bottom. 5 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,521 I know how to vacuum mom and dad, summer. 6 00:00:20,605 --> 00:00:22,190 I've been doing it for six months. 7 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:24,692 Then you've been doing it wrong for six months. 8 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,485 Oh, my god, is that mildew? 9 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:28,654 It's not my fault we froze time on a humid day. 10 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:31,824 You have dropped so many balls, man. 11 00:00:31,908 --> 00:00:33,826 Do you ever get scared grandpa Rick 12 00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,661 might make me his new sidekick? 13 00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,622 What?! What kind of monster are you? 14 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,998 A competent one. 15 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,267 Who cares about the [burps] things you guys are 16 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:41,417 talking about? 17 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,853 [Burps ] The whole point of freezing time was to 18 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,879 stop giving a fuck. Put a shirt on your dumb dad, 19 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,215 and let's get this dumb universe rolling. 20 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,925 Let's do this thing. 21 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:53,679 All right, listen, you two. 22 00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,556 We froze time for a pretty long time, 23 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:56,766 so when I UN-freeze it, 24 00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,351 the world's time is gonna be fine, 25 00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,269 but our time's gonna need a little time 26 00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:01,604 to, you know, stabilize. 27 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:02,789 Our time is gonna be unstable? 28 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,357 What does that even mean? 29 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,442 It means relax and stop being a pussy, morty. 30 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,402 Uh, I thought you learned that by now. 31 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:09,963 It also means don't touch your parents, 32 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,882 or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards. 33 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:14,283 - Wait a minute, what? - And away we go! 34 00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:15,493 [Device warbles ] 35 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,577 N“ 36 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,874 Um... did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson? 37 00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,417 - — Shhh. - Shush, morty. 38 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,586 A thing or two about —- wait, what? 39 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:27,588 Was the house -— When we pulled up, 40 00:01:27,672 --> 00:01:30,508 I could have sworn the house was completely trashed. 41 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,842 Negative visualization, Jerry. 42 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,678 Explains a lot about where you're at. 43 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,638 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi, dad. 44 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,598 Summer, morty, are you okay? 45 00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:39,517 We... we just missed you a lot. 46 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,227 Yeah, we missed you so much. 47 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,728 Too much to hug you, though. 48 00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,438 Yeah, it would literally destroy them. 49 00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:46,333 Now, listen, why don't... Why don't... wh-why don't... 50 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,960 Why don't you guys go get a free Sunday ice cream? 51 00:01:47,984 --> 00:01:49,485 Get out there and get some ice creams. 52 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,862 Here's $500 cash in unmarked monies. 53 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,739 I'm just gonna put it on the floor 54 00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,408 and kick it on over to ya. 55 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,493 - You guys go nuts. - This better not be a bribe. 56 00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:00,621 If I find a single thing out of place in this house, 57 00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:02,790 my love of ice cream won't save you. 58 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,417 I'll get my jacket. 59 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:07,670 Sweetie, is your shirt on backwards? 60 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,463 [All gasp] 61 00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,882 Yeah. I like it this way. 62 00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:13,342 I'm not stupid. 63 00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:14,635 - Phew! — oh. 64 00:02:14,719 --> 00:02:16,470 Man, that guy is the redgren grumbholdt 65 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,389 of pretending he knows what's going on. 66 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,598 [Rick and summer laugh] 67 00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:20,951 - Oh, you agree, huh? - It's funny. 68 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:21,892 You like that redgren grumbholdt reference? 69 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:22,976 Yeah. 70 00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,520 Well, guess what? I made him up. 71 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,188 You really are your father's children. 72 00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,024 Think for yourselves. Don't be sheep. 73 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:32,987 [Dramatic electronic music plays] 74 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,555 [ Electricity crackles ] 75 00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:06,896 God, I feel terrible. 76 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,522 Yep, it really makes you appreciate 77 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:09,899 how fickle the universe can be. 78 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,526 One minute you're falling off a roof for six months, 79 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,861 the next minute, bam! 80 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,780 Uh, just to be clear, it was summer's job 81 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,239 to put the mattress under... 82 00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:18,657 Uh, what? It was your job, morty. 83 00:03:18,741 --> 00:03:19,825 - Nuh-uh! - Yuh-huh! 84 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,243 Actually, sorry, summer. 85 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:22,596 I got to back the "m" bomb on this one. 86 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,080 I remember the conversation. 87 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:26,582 We told morty to replace all the bank's money with cookies. 88 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,709 Your job was to put the mattress under Mr. Benson. 89 00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:31,003 Boom! In your face, summer! 90 00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:32,755 You really dropped the ball, man. 91 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,840 Shut up, morty, you vindictive little turd! 92 00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:38,010 You shut up, you big female asshole! 93 00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:39,387 [Warbles] Hey, don't shove me! 94 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,638 - I didn't! - You didn't what? 95 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,264 - What's your problem? - What's yours? 96 00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:43,432 - Shut up! - You shut up! 97 00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:44,809 - [Rumbling ] - Wh-whoa, whoa! 98 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,228 What the [echoing] hell, hell, hell, hell, hell? 99 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,480 [Echoing] Oh, god. Oh, no. What did you guys just do? 100 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,791 - What did who do? - What do you mean? 101 00:03:50,815 --> 00:03:52,735 - Wait, what am I saying? - [ Burps ] Were either 102 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,819 of you guys uncertain about anything just now? 103 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,487 Oh, man, I don't feel good. 104 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,923 - Am I me? - Am I talking right now? 105 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,532 - I think so. - Wait, who said that? 106 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,283 All right, both of you just don't move. 107 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,703 Don't speak, don't think. I have to check something. 108 00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:05,889 - What'd you do, morty? - I'm gonna help grandpa. 109 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,081 I'll see if he needs help. 110 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,433 What do you mean you 're gonna help him .7 111 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,959 [scoffs] I can help, too. 112 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,311 - What's happening, grandpa? - What's going on, Rick? 113 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,878 Sh-sh—shut up. 114 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:15,464 Oh, crap, are you kidding me? Two dots? 115 00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:17,174 This never needs to be more than one dot. 116 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,592 The two of you made us uncertain! 117 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:19,593 - What are you talking about? - What's that mean? 118 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,779 - English, please. - English? 119 00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:23,305 Our time is fractured -— You two somehow created 120 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,724 a feedback look of uncertainty that split our reality 121 00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:28,269 into two equally possible impossibilities. 122 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,604 W-We're exactly like a man capable of sustaining 123 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:33,399 a platonic friendship with an attractive female co-worker. 124 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,401 We're entirely hypothetical. 125 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,528 But I thought there were infinite time lines? 126 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,613 We're not on any time line, dummy. 127 00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:41,699 Look. [ Cat meows ] 128 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,950 Oh, my god! 129 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,368 Summer: Are those cats? 130 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,495 I assume they're schrodinger's cats. 131 00:04:46,579 --> 00:04:47,913 Or, actually, I assume 132 00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,623 they both are and aren't, just like us. 133 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,333 - Is the world gone? - Is the world gone? 134 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,853 - Where are mom and dad? - What about mom and dad? 135 00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:55,337 Mom and dad? Get your head out of your family's ass. 136 00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,548 The three of us are lost in a timeless oblivion. 137 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,008 Your parents get to exist. 138 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,343 They're probably living it up in some pointless, 139 00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:03,512 grounded story about their shitty marriage. 140 00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:05,431 Jerry: Cold stone creamery is the best. 141 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:08,434 What should we do with our remaining $20? 142 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:11,312 You realize they sing no matter how much you tip? 143 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,938 - Whoa! - Aaah! 144 00:05:13,022 --> 00:05:14,356 Holy shit. 145 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,025 - What happened? - I hit a deer. 146 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,360 We... we have to tell the cops you were driving. 147 00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,613 - — What? - This is rum raisin! 148 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,533 It's still alive. 149 00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:28,037 Well, do we... do I, uh, get, uh, a big rock, or...? 150 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,788 It's not an armadillo, asshole. 151 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,672 I thought that's what a man's supposed to say. 152 00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:33,389 It's not like I could've actually done it. 153 00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,377 If we were near a hospital, I could treat it, 154 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:36,837 but I —- I think we have to just... 155 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:39,507 It's okay. This is just something that happens. 156 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,301 And even if we were in a hospital, what could we do? 157 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,553 You're a horse surgeon, not a deer surgeon. 158 00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:45,763 So... 159 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,306 Well, don't different animals... 160 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:48,909 Require different levels of skill to keep alive? 161 00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:50,577 - Oh, god. - Get the deer in the car, Jerry. 162 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,894 Yes, Beth. 163 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,896 This is why you don't freeze time, you guys. 164 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,564 It's incredibly irresponsible. 165 00:05:55,648 --> 00:05:57,888 And you did it so we could clean the house after a party? 166 00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:00,528 Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, morty. 167 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,363 Like, literally no time. Look around. 168 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:04,698 Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. 169 00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,867 Eventually, everything either is or isn't. 170 00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:09,370 And we've got about four hours to be "is." 171 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,497 - Or...? - We isn't. 172 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,225 All right, since this time crystal exists in both 173 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:14,250 possibilities, 174 00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,627 and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, 175 00:06:16,669 --> 00:06:18,462 I'm probably about to press this button 176 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,631 in both possibilities at exactly the same time. 177 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,317 - How do you know —- - how do you know that... 178 00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,944 Whatever your asking me, the answer is I'm amazing. 179 00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:25,886 And away we go. 180 00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:26,971 [Warbling ] 181 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,600 Huh, what do you know. It's working. 182 00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:34,311 - Ow, ow, ow! - Oh shit. 183 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,480 What the hell is wrong with you two? 184 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:37,731 I-I-I—I mean you four! 185 00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,692 Both: That hurt! That was painful. 186 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:41,735 Good, I'm glad it was painful. You deserve it. 187 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:44,530 I saw you. Y-You're both [burps] all over the damn place. 188 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,699 We've been split for 20 minutes and your lives 189 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,034 are already scattered to the quantum fucking wind? 190 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,744 What the hell do either of you two 191 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,289 have to be so uncertain about? Your brand of zit cream? 192 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,374 Which chair to sit in while I do everything? 193 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,625 Come on, spit it out! 194 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:57,626 Well, you don't exactly make it easy, Rick. 195 00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:59,044 You make fun of me all the time... 196 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,689 You're always picking on me... And now summer's doing it. 197 00:07:00,713 --> 00:07:01,547 And now you got summer to kiss your ass. 198 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,048 Me?! What about you? 199 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,192 You're just as mean to me because you're jealous... 200 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,235 Could you get more excited to see me fail? 201 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,820 Because you want grandpa all to yourself! 202 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,697 All right, all right, cool it. I see what's happening here. 203 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,347 You're both young, you're both unsure 204 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,724 about your place in the universe, 205 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,601 and you both want to be grandpa's favorite. 206 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,394 I can fix this. Morty, sit here. 207 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,979 Summer, you sit here. Now, listen. 208 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,647 I know the two of you are very different 209 00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:20,000 from each other in a lot of ways, 210 00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,400 but you have to understand 211 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:22,901 that as far as grandpa's concerned, 212 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,612 you're both pieces of shit. Yeah. 213 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:25,946 I can prove it mathematically. 214 00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,656 Actually, i-i—let me grab my white board. 215 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,408 This has been a long time coming, anyway. 216 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,327 [Tires screech ] 217 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,037 Emergency! Wounded deer coming in. 218 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,747 - [Air hissing] - Three. 219 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,582 Excuse me, you can't be back here. 220 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,250 I'm a certified horse surgeon, 221 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,002 and this deer needs medical attention. 222 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,546 - Nurse, please move that snake. - That's my nurse. 223 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,506 And as a horse surgeon, I'm sure that you know 224 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:47,676 that deer have much smaller, much more intricate organs. 225 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,762 As a vet, I'm sure you know that a deer 226 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:52,264 is closer to a horse than you are to a doctor. 227 00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:54,725 So let's save the measuring for when our dicks are out. 228 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,477 - It's time to save a life! - Geez. 229 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,895 [Grunts, sighs] 230 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,648 That's odd. This deer's wounded. 231 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,733 Uh, yeah, I was there. You don't have to rub it in. 232 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,943 I mean it's been shot with a gun. 233 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,987 Man: My gun. 234 00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:08,822 May I help you, sir? 235 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,533 No, but you can stop helping this deer. 236 00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,577 I shot it before these two hit it with their car, 237 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,305 and I followed them when they hauled it off. 238 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,705 This deer belongs to me. 239 00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:18,707 [Sighs] We don't have time for this, okay? 240 00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:20,584 I need anaesthetic and deer saline. 241 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,711 Look, I don't know what the law says about this, 242 00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:25,964 but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm. 243 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,817 Except when sterilizing, aborting, or euthanizing them, 244 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,135 or also when eating them at also any meal. 245 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,762 I'm calling my lawyer. 246 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,448 I hope for all our sakes you're as bad a surgeon 247 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:34,472 as I am a hunter. 248 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,392 In your dreams, bitch. Scalpel. 249 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:39,812 So, in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, 250 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,647 overly sensitive, clingy, 251 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,982 hysterical, bird-brained homunculi. 252 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,418 And I honestly can't even tell the two of you apart 253 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,527 half the time 254 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,837 because I don't go by height or age, 255 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,613 I go by amount of pain in my ass, 256 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,073 which makes you both identical. 257 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,491 All right, everything resolved? 258 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,327 Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world. 259 00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:56,328 Both: - Yes. 260 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,746 All right, perfect. Sit still. 261 00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,707 [Burps ] Arms down. I'm gonna do this again. 262 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,667 This time be like grandpa. 263 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:02,876 You mean drunk? 264 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,670 What's that? You got something to say? 265 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:05,753 - No. - And away we go! 266 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:08,924 And away we go! 267 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,802 - Huh, that's weird. - Huh, that's weird. 268 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,762 [Button clicking] 269 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:14,888 - Oh, my god. - What? 270 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:15,889 The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! 271 00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:16,973 What?! 272 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:17,850 The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! 273 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:18,851 What?! 274 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,310 Diabolical, unfeeling sociopath. 275 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,746 - Don't you get it?! - Don't you get it?! 276 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,897 The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore. 277 00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:25,250 He thinks he can save his own skin 278 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,859 by using the crystal to kill me. 279 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,819 He probably figures it's [belches] easier 280 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:29,778 to eliminate one of the possibilities 281 00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:30,988 rather than merge them. 282 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,197 [ Laughs] I have to admit, 283 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:33,991 it was always in the back of my mind, too. 284 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,994 The difference is I would never do it, until now. 285 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,178 Rick, what the hell are you doing? 286 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,746 Saving our lives! 287 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:41,141 After he takes me out, he's... He's gonna be coming for you. 288 00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:42,332 - Who? - Me! 289 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,792 - [Gunshot] - Aah! 290 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,335 - Whoa! - You see that? Get down! 291 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,212 I told you, he's a psycho. He's lost it! 292 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,423 Th-th-th-the time fracture must have made him crazy! 293 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,692 - I don't know what to do! - Oh, crap! 294 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,718 - I don't know what to do! - [Rumbling ] 295 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,428 [Device beeps ] 296 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,096 Oh, god, now there's three of them. 297 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,699 We're outnumbered. Get in the cupboards. 298 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,974 Wait, don't... don't do that. 299 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,392 They'll know. Wait, wait. 300 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,870 Think about getting in the cupboards, but don't really. 301 00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,896 [Gunshots] [Screams] 302 00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:06,690 Is this what you want, you sick fuck?! 303 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,734 You want to see children die?! 304 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:09,818 You son of a bitch. 305 00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:12,196 You don't stop living until I say so! 306 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,197 - Michael. 307 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,698 - Who's this now? - My lawyer. 308 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,593 I'm here to notify you, ma'am, that in this county, 309 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,076 any deer shot by a hunter 310 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,621 is that hunter's property regardless of how far it runs 311 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,915 or who intercepts it before it dies. 312 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,416 It's called Brad's law. 313 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,959 We can't make you stop the surgery, 314 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,128 but at this point, you're performing it on venison. 315 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,339 Actually, I've decided not to eat it. 316 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:34,301 All this fear and conflict —- I'm sure it's ruined the meat. 317 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,678 I'm just gonna use the head for my rec-room wall. 318 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,680 She normally works on horses. 319 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,784 Jerry, if you're not gonna help, get the fuck out of here. 320 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,476 I will reach into heaven 321 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,978 and yank your screaming deer soul back! 322 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,062 Jesus. 323 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,106 Shh, shh! 324 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,067 I know where you are, you creepy old monster. 325 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,276 I know how you think. 326 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,195 Oh, is there where you think I'm going? 327 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,398 You think I'm standing here? 328 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,864 Well, maybe you're right. 329 00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:57,825 [ Morty grunts] [ Rick groans] 330 00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,034 Summer: Holy shit. Now what? 331 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,512 Well, if all of me knocked out all the ricks, 332 00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:02,162 and you peed in all of your pants, 333 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,164 doesn't that mean that we're all synchronized? 334 00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:05,457 - — Right. - Okay. 335 00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,918 So, from now on, whatever we do, we have to be certain. 336 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,002 Right. 337 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:12,214 I think I'm certain we're effed in the "a." 338 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,011 Oh, god, my head. 339 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,721 [Groans] What did you guys do? 340 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:22,683 We put you in a dog crate because you were acting crazy 341 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,226 and you caused another time fracture. 342 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:25,644 You tried to kill yourself. 343 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,271 O-Only in self-defense. 344 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,814 Myself tried to kill me first. 345 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,458 Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, 346 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,317 but time breaking twice means our problem is 347 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:35,320 two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. 348 00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,340 Well, actually, I do expect you to understand that. 349 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,908 It's basic math. C-Can somebody just let me out of here? 350 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,326 If I die in a cage, I lose a bet. 351 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,078 Well, is there some way you can prove 352 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,098 you're not a threat to yourself and others anymore? 353 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,522 Oh, for god's sake. All right, here. 354 00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,643 - Give me the time crystal. - —wh-what are you doing? 355 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,003 Calling myself. Here, listen. 356 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:52,522 It'll [burps] probably go to voicemail 357 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,089 since, you know, I'm calling myself. 358 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,049 Hallo, Rick here. 359 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,277 Don't fall for it. It's a bit. 360 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:58,760 Jusz' kidding! Ha, ha! 361 00:11:58,844 --> 00:11:59,928 You jusz' goz' ricked. 362 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:01,281 You've reached Rick's voicemail. 363 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:02,365 [You know what to do. I been] 364 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,599 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 365 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,059 Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. 366 00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,103 I know you know I mean it, too. Take it easy. 367 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,272 Whoa, damn! Look at this. 368 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,940 I'm blowing up... Three new voicemails. 369 00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:13,317 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 370 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,544 Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. 371 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,485 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard this one. 372 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,820 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 373 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,947 - Hey, Rick, it's... - You get the idea. 374 00:12:19,031 --> 00:12:20,365 [ Burps ] W-we're cool now. 375 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:22,677 Okay, well, we're still not gonna let you out of this crate. 376 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,369 Fine. I'll just do it myself. 377 00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:26,830 If you could get out that whole time, why didn't you? 378 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,665 Because I waited until I was certain 379 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,250 it was what I wanted to do, morty. 380 00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:31,728 That's the difference between you and me. 381 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,086 I'm certain, and you're 382 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,255 a walking burlap sack filled with turds. 383 00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:36,506 You know, geez, Rick! 384 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,467 Y—y-you're really tearing into me right now. 385 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,593 You know, words hurt. 386 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,094 - Holy! - A monster! 387 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,888 Hey, you... hey, quit yelling. 388 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,641 Quit yelling. What the fuck 389 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,726 your time is all ripped up to hell! 390 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,394 [Warbles ] You broke your time twice. 391 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,104 - [Sighs] - How did this happen? 392 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:52,248 [ All speaking indistinctly] 393 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,233 Nevermind. Shut the fuck up. Goddamn. 394 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,194 I'm from the fourth dimension. 395 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,820 I can hear all of y'all. 396 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,824 Now let's just see what we got here for a second. 397 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,532 - [Groans] - Goddamn it. 398 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,409 Were you trying to use this to —- 399 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,412 oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could 400 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:09,414 just stick it back together with this? 401 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:10,600 How you think you gonna move time 402 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,833 while you're standing in it, 403 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,294 you dumb-ass three-dimensional monkey—ass dummies? 404 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:15,629 Oh, way to go, Rick. 405 00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,130 Yeah, grandpa, way to go. 406 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,942 What, you're just gonna listen to this guy now? 407 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,842 He's got a giant testicle for a head. 408 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,177 He came here in a bubble. 409 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,380 For all we know, he could be 410 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,847 the David berkowitz of nutsackland. 411 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:28,141 Shut up. Here, put these on. 412 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:29,726 They'll sync your possibilities up 413 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,687 so I can bring you back to certain time. 414 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:34,189 Y'all are just -— Just -— just negligent. 415 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:35,941 See, now... now look right here. 416 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,193 Hey, hey, hey, the three of you, put your collars on. 417 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,504 - We have them on. - What are you talking about? 418 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:40,713 - Uh, we did. - We're not wearing collars. 419 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,447 Exactly. 'Cause you're being obstinate. 420 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:43,573 [ Belches ] What? 421 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,284 Put the damn collars on if you want to live. 422 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,679 - They're on right now. - We did. They're on. 423 00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:50,038 All right, fine. Summer, morty, put them on. 424 00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:51,748 [Device beeps ] 425 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:52,833 [Warbling ] 426 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,602 - Yes, we're back! - No more cats! 427 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,466 - We're back in certain time. - Problem solved. 428 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:57,647 No more cats! Oh, you did it! 429 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,506 - You fixed it. - Yeah, I did. 430 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,174 Now keep those collars on so you 431 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,698 don't break your weak-ass time again. 432 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,970 How long, exactly, do we have to wear these things? 433 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,221 They're really embarrassing. 434 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,473 Well, since you're going to time prison, 435 00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,059 I'd say you can keep them on forever. 436 00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:12,477 - Time prison? - Yeah. 437 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,479 Well, I don't know where you expect me to think 438 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,106 you got that crystal over there, 439 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:20,027 but the only way your dumb-ass assin' ass asses 440 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,654 could ever have one is if it was stolen. 441 00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:25,407 You stole a time-freezing crystal from testicle monsters?! 442 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:28,076 I would've been happy to pay for it, s... [burps] Summer, 443 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,162 but they don't exactly sell them at costco. 444 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,998 Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him! 445 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,475 No, no, no, no! You better keep back! 446 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,084 Man, this will turn your ass 447 00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:38,211 into a third-trimester fetus from 30 yards. 448 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:40,297 [Monitor beeping] 449 00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:41,590 Mm. 450 00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,718 Isn't there a kitten somewhere that needs a manicure? 451 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,220 That's right, Mrs. Smith. Give in to your anger. 452 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,389 Neglect that deer. 453 00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,308 Honey, it's gonna be okay. 454 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,226 These men are from the cervine institute 455 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,978 of of elk, moose, deer, and stag. 456 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,730 They can take this deer to a helicopter 457 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,940 and fly it to the country's top deer surgeon 458 00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:01,234 on a wildlife reserve across the state border. 459 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,487 Where yourjurisdiction ends. 460 00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,115 I guess that's the end of that. 461 00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:08,658 There is just one more thing. 462 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,328 According to this state's veterinarian statute, 463 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,246 this animal can't be transferred 464 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,290 until the current attending physician 465 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,959 verbally confirms their inability 466 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,669 to provide adequate care. 467 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:22,089 You heard the man, horse doctor. 468 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:25,550 You have to say you couldn't hack it. 469 00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:28,386 We did it! 470 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,305 Uh-huh. No, mother... no. Earth, dude. 471 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,641 No, I'm talking about... Yeah, with the dinosaurs. 472 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:35,310 No, if you get to the dolphin people, you gone too far. 473 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,479 All right, man, I'll talk to you later. Okay. 474 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,106 You know what they do 475 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,029 to third-dimensional life forms in time prison? 476 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,252 Same thing they do in every other prison, only forever. 477 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,569 Why are you doing this? 478 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,988 You think I want to be an omniscient immortal being 479 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,712 transcending time and space my whole life? 480 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,117 I got ambitions, man. 481 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,035 Bringing you guys in is my ticket up. 482 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:55,038 What if I told you there's a huge ticket 483 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,248 up right behind you? 484 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,475 You really think I'm that stupid? 485 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,167 All right, hear me out on this. 486 00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,187 You're immortal, right, which means your life is infinite. 487 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,131 Okay, well, then that means there's a 100% chance 488 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,607 that you'll eventually do everything, 489 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,008 including turning around to look behind you. 490 00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,218 I cannot argue that. 491 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,011 - [Thud!] - Aaah! 492 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:12,305 - [Squeals] - Oh, god, gross and weird! 493 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,474 - Chris! - [ Splat! ] 494 00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,017 You killed my gun! 495 00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,537 Rick: Summer, morty, take off your collars. 496 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,187 What? What the hell are you doing? 497 00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:23,608 Good question. I suppose the answer is I'm not certain. 498 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,193 Oh, no, what are you doing? 499 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:26,987 - I have no idea. - I'm not sure. 500 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,446 Stop it! 501 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,116 [Echoing] Maybe I will, maybe I won't. 502 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:33,201 I'm really uncertain about everything, 503 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,494 even kicking your ass. 504 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,037 List... hey! Tw... ow! 505 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:38,123 But the-— these arms are vestigial! [Grunts] 506 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,725 Now, you poked me where an eye would've been 507 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,501 about 6 million years ago. 508 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,503 Summer: [Echoing ] Come on, let's help grandpa. 509 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,964 Morty: [Echoing ] Yes! I'm 100% not sure about anything! 510 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,632 Yeah, totally uncertain. 511 00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,509 Beat his ass! Get him! Beat him up! 512 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:51,970 - Kick his ass, Rick! - Die, motherfucker. 513 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,346 Ow! I'm defeated. 514 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,348 - What's happening? - Time is falling apart. 515 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:56,701 We've got to get back to certainty quick. 516 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,185 Give me your collars. 517 00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,163 Oh, man. Don't you have to fix, like, 30 of them? 518 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,563 Morty, I have to fix three of them. 519 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,315 And then there's 31 other versions of me 520 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:05,984 that have to also fix three, for a total of 96. 521 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,278 I'm not an idiot. I know how to be decisive. 522 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,881 Now hand me that flat—head screwdriver. 523 00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,258 - Actually, make it a flat—head. - Actually, make it a Phillips. 524 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:13,950 Oh, shit. 525 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,829 Look, I know I was kind of a nuisance today. 526 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,414 I know it's my fault we hit the deer. 527 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,541 And I know you wanted to be the one to save it. 528 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:22,626 Whatever. 529 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,378 How petty would I have to be to care less 530 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,797 about an animal's life than my own ego? 531 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:31,426 Well, you'd have to be pretty petty. 532 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,511 But you'd still be the woman I married. 533 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,388 - [ Car rattles ] - Where are we going? 534 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,599 One last stop. 535 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,684 [Tires squeal] 536 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,145 Where's the helicopter? 537 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,105 There is no helicopter. 538 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,149 And there is no cervine institute. 539 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,817 But the top deer surgeon... 540 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,694 I'm looking at her. 541 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:51,005 Thanks for teeing me up like that. 542 00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:52,280 You better get moving. 543 00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,175 These lights are designed for basic ice-cream work. 544 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,742 They're not gonna last all night. 545 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,244 I need five minutes. 546 00:17:57,327 --> 00:18:00,372 [Upbeat music plays] 547 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:31,695 Jerry, this was the most romantic weekend I've ever had. 548 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,947 Thanks to cold stone creamery. 549 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,657 You're welcome. 550 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,450 Rick: Okay, collars are done. Put them on. 551 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,160 We're out of time. It's ironic, huh? 552 00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:40,245 [ Beeping ] 553 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,290 Huh? Wait a minute. 554 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:44,416 - Great. - Rick! 555 00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:45,417 What's going on? 556 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,294 The collar. Oh, the latch is broken. 557 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,646 It won't latch closed around my neck. 558 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:49,730 - Oh, are you kidding me? - Geez, what's going on? 559 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,172 How come our collars aren't green? 560 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,942 Obviously because someone doesn't know how to put 561 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,510 his collar on, and one of me is stuck trying to help him. 562 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:56,803 Don't blame this on me. 563 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,239 You're the one that couldn't fix a latch. 564 00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,699 What are you talking about? It's not broken, morty. 565 00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:01,182 I fixed it. Just put it on. 566 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,018 It won't close. It's broken. 567 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,853 Fine, bring it here. 568 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,187 [Groans] Oh! 569 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,064 - — Rick! - Morty! 570 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,149 [ Screams ] 571 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,900 Oh, really, morty? Well, I'm sorry. 572 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,570 I'm not the one who's so fucking uncertain about everything. 573 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,839 You know what I'm certain of, Rick? 574 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,489 I've really made up my mind about this. 575 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,116 I never want to see you again! 576 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,344 You're never gonna see anything again, you little dummy! 577 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,787 You killed us! 578 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,205 God damn it. [Grunts] 579 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,290 N“ 580 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,795 Rick! Oh! 581 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,273 Morty, where's your collar? I'll fix it. 582 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,923 I dropped it. 583 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,008 [ Beeping ] 584 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,595 What the hell? What have you done to me, morty? 585 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,515 I'm okay with this. Be good, morty. 586 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,267 Be better than me. 587 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:47,771 Oh shit! The other collar! 588 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,357 I'm not okay with this. I am not okay with this! 589 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,751 Oh, sweet Jesus, please let me live. 590 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,419 Oh, my god, I have to... I've got to fix this thing. 591 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,236 Please, god in heaven. Please, god. 592 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,821 Oh, lord, hear my prayers. 593 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,948 [Collar beeps] Yes! Fuck you, god! 594 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,326 Not today, bitch! 595 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,596 Please, god, if there's a hell, please be merciful to me. 596 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,705 [Collar beeps] 597 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,665 Yes, I did it! There is no god! 598 00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,000 In your face! 599 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,877 One dot, motherfucker! 600 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,462 Yes! Oh, yes! 601 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,382 All right, you know what I'm talking about. 602 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,817 - Oh, that was a close call. - Oh, yeah! 603 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,343 I'm gonna do the cabbage patch, morty. 604 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,487 - Oh, yeah, do it. - Check me out. 605 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:20,571 I'm doing the cabbage patch. 606 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,906 - Do it right. - I'm doing it, too. 607 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,199 - Do the cabbage patch. - It's a classic dance. 608 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,100 - Do it. Do the dance. - Oh shit look at that. 609 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:27,578 Hey, wait a second, how come you guys took longer to get here? 610 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,939 I don't know. I think, like, 1/64 of my collars didn't work. 611 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,440 It's hard to keep straight now 612 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,651 that I have 63 other memories of everything. 613 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:35,734 Yeah. 614 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,362 But I feel like one of the 64 ricks, 615 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,863 like, sacrificed himself for me? 616 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,574 - Maybe? I think? - Shut up, morty. 617 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,952 The last time you felt something, we all almost died. 618 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:45,412 You little piece of shit. 619 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:46,746 Beth: Hey, guys, we're home. 620 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:47,956 Together: Mom! Dad! 621 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,707 Uh, hold the phone. 622 00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:52,293 Where did you guys get those necklaces from? 623 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,671 Uh, lady gaga, table for three. Am I right? 624 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,881 Are you guys power rangers, 625 00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,526 but only on one small part of your necks? 626 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,093 Hey, do those things need batteries? 627 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,862 Were they included? Cleanup in the fruit aisle. 628 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,222 Not in a homophobic way, though. 629 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,075 They're just fruity necklaces is what I was saying. 630 00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,099 I'm gonna pee my pants! 631 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,059 Somebody call the planet of "tron"! 632 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:09,245 Doesn't feel so good, does it? 633 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,103 We have three "tron" people over here. 634 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,896 No, it doesn't. It hurts. 635 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,107 Seriously, are these Halloween costumes? 636 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,400 Are you going as motorcycles 637 00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:17,243 with green headlights instead of normal ones? 638 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:19,320 Are you dogs? Robot dogs? [ Laughs] 639 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,781 Gosh, you guys are lame. 640 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,741 Are those chokers from the '90s? 641 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:26,494 What is this, a '903 nostalgia thing? 642 00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:30,039 Are you guys in that movie "the craft" with fairuza balk? 643 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:33,209 [Dramatic electronic music plays I 644 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:04,282 [Warbling ] 645 00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:08,328 Hey, man, when the hell were you? 646 00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:09,704 Looking for you, asshole. 647 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:11,206 I told you past the dinosaurs. 648 00:22:11,289 --> 00:22:13,541 You know how much time is past the dinosaurs? 649 00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:14,751 Half of all time! 650 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:15,853 Come on, man. It's this way. 651 00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:17,021 - Come on. - Give me that thing. 652 00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:18,272 Speed it up. He can't be this far back. 653 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:19,648 No, no, there he is. There he is. There he is. 654 00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:20,965 There he is. Stop, stop. 655 00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:23,176 - So, that's the guy, huh? - Yeah, that's him. 656 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,844 Hey, man. Remember me? 657 00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:26,528 I got something for your ass. [Grunting ] 658 00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:28,556 Don't... mess... with time! 659 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,892 You don't fuck with time! 660 00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:31,976 Motherfucker! 661 00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:34,896 [Warbles] 662 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:37,190 [Groans] 663 00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:41,110 [German accent] I will mess with time. 664 00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:42,779 [Whimpers] I will mess with time. 665 00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:43,988 [ Shouting ] 666 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,406 Man: Did you get any of that? 667 00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:47,492 Man: [ Italian accent] It's a good show.