1 00:00:01,127 --> 00:00:03,045 Rick: Learning to fly this thing, morty, 2 00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,148 is gonna be really liberating. 3 00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:05,590 You know, you're gonna be free 4 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,067 - to go on all kinds of errands for me. - Cool. 5 00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,259 See that planet right there? 6 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,886 Don't fly too close to that planet. 7 00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:11,405 Someone will come out and try to wash your windshield. 8 00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:12,555 [ Ringtone plays ] 9 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,432 Hold on. [Cellphone beeps] 10 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,892 Yeah? Yeah, I have it. 11 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,226 Where do you want to meet? 12 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:18,453 All right, cool. [Cellphone beeps] 13 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:19,854 All right, morty, lesson's over. 14 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:21,217 We got some business to attend to 15 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,541 a few light minutes south of here. 16 00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:23,983 Oh, you still use south in space? 17 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,067 Whoa! Jesus, Jerry! 18 00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:26,652 What the hell are you doing here?! 19 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:27,820 What are you talking about? 20 00:00:27,904 --> 00:00:29,544 We agreed a boy's father should be present 21 00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:30,632 when he's learning to drive. 22 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,074 Iguessl remember that. 23 00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,969 Wow. And you've just been back there this whole time? 24 00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:34,994 Amazing. 25 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,139 Well, we don't have time to take him to earth, morty. 26 00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:39,248 Head for 3924917. 27 00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:40,625 Cool! [ Laughs] 28 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,044 Looks like I'm coming along for an adventure! 29 00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:44,420 Yep. [Sighs] 30 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,524 Morty: This is where we're going? 31 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,549 Rick: Nope. 32 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,259 This is. 33 00:00:50,343 --> 00:00:51,928 You can park in a handicap spot, morty. 34 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,371 Anything with less than eight limbs 35 00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,723 is considered disabled here. 36 00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:03,356 Woman: Well, look at this fella. Aren't you handsome? 37 00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:04,523 Thank you. [ Chuckles ] 38 00:01:04,607 --> 00:01:07,068 - I'm Jerry. - Oh, I know you are. 39 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:09,528 Did you come here in a spaceship? 40 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:12,073 I'm traveling with my son and father-in-law. 41 00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,407 W-Wait. Are they coming? 42 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:14,617 Oh, they'll be back soon. 43 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:15,785 What?! 44 00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:20,581 I don't know how this works! 45 00:01:20,665 --> 00:01:21,540 Help me! 46 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:23,292 What the hell?! 47 00:01:23,376 --> 00:01:24,627 I know, right? 48 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,128 Oh, what the hell?! 49 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,463 I know, right? 50 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,673 Morty: Jerryboreel? 51 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,466 You created a day care for my dad? 52 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,468 Are you kidding? I wish I had this idea. 53 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,136 Well, I did have this idea, 54 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,430 but I wish I was the version of me that owned it. 55 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:38,140 That guy's rich. 56 00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:39,785 Don't forget to check the reason for your drop-off. 57 00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:42,353 Trust me, morty, I've heard stories from other ricks. 58 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,022 Jerrys don't tend to last five minutes off of earth. 59 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,733 This is a totally unregistered cross—temporal asteroid. 60 00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:50,403 Here, they can romp and play with other Jerrys. 61 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:51,529 He couldn't be safer. 62 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,155 Hey, morty, hang on to this. 63 00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,657 That number's your dad. 64 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,927 If you lose it, we're not gonna be able to get him back. 65 00:01:56,951 --> 00:02:00,371 N“ 66 00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:26,522 [ Electricity crackles ] 67 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,402 N“ 68 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,452 - Okay, wait here. - I want to come with. 69 00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,162 Don't come with. It's boring. 70 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,597 It's [belches] —- it's business stuff. 71 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,308 What kind of business do you do in a garage? 72 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:45,600 You know, this seems a little shady. 73 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,501 Right, yeah, like nothing shady ever happened 74 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:48,705 in a fully furnished office? 75 00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:50,379 You ever hear about wall street, morty? 76 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:51,623 Y-You know what those guys do 77 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,341 in... in... In their fancy boardrooms? 78 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,384 They take their balls and they dip them in cocaine 79 00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:56,737 and wipe them all over each other. 80 00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:57,961 You know, grandpa goes around, 81 00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,805 and he does his business in public, 82 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,557 because grandpa isn't shady. 83 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,975 Aw, crap. 84 00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:03,976 Hey, what's up? 85 00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,603 Hey, Rick! [ Laughs ] 86 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,438 Here you go —- 3,000 flerbos. 87 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,689 Do you have the weapon? 88 00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:09,815 C-Can we please? 89 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,567 This is my grandson, morty. 90 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,319 Oh, hi, morty. I'm krombopulos Michael. 91 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,488 I'm an assassin. I buy guns from your grandpa. 92 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,739 [Groans] Here. Go away. 93 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,407 Ooh! Yeah, this looks deadly. 94 00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:19,825 So, this shoots antimatter? 95 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:22,286 My target can't be killed with regular matter. 96 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,579 Nice to meet you, morty. 97 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:24,765 Listen, if you ever need anybody murdered, 98 00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,499 please give me a call. 99 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:27,601 - I'm very discreet. - You're g-giving him a card?! 100 00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:28,793 I have no code of ethics. 101 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,586 I will kill anyone, anywhere... 102 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,339 Children, animals, old people... Doesn't matter. 103 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:34,632 I just love killing. 104 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,884 You sell weapons to killers for money? 105 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,303 [Groans ] You've got what the intergalactic call 106 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,805 a very planetary mind-set, morty. 107 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,681 It's more complicated out here. 108 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:43,974 These are flerbos. 109 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,938 Do you understand what two humans can accomplish 110 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,978 - with 3,000 of these? - Uh, what? 111 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:52,483 An entire afternoon at blips and chitz! 112 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,859 Oh, this place is the best. 113 00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,611 It's got beer, games, prizes, 114 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,738 and you can never tell what time it is. 115 00:03:57,822 --> 00:04:00,658 You sold a gun to a murderer so you could play video games?! 116 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,619 Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, 117 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,579 you can make anything sound bad, morty. 118 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,456 - Here, check this out. - [Coin drops] 119 00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:08,582 [ Whoosh! ] 120 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,126 Aah! [Breathing heavily] 121 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,419 Roy, what's wrong? 122 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:12,795 I had a nightmare. 123 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,880 I was with an old man. 124 00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,757 He put a helmet on me. 125 00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:19,009 It's just a fever. Get some sleep. 126 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:21,095 I don't want you missing school on Monday. 127 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,347 [Bell rings] 128 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,075 Man: I want you kids to look around you today 129 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,934 and think about your future. 130 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,770 Now is the time in your life when anything is possible. 131 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:30,956 Announcer: Spiraling perfectly! 132 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,523 It's gonna be caught by Roy Parsons! 133 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,649 Roy Parsons is at the 20! 134 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:34,775 Now he's at the 10! 135 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,610 Nothing can stop Roy "the rocket"! 136 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,612 - Touchdown! - [Cheers and applause] 137 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,739 I just think it's time to get realistic. 138 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,492 Have you talked to my father about the carpet store? 139 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:44,577 Roy? 140 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:45,953 [Sighs] 141 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:47,830 [Cellphone rings] 142 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,916 Had we caught it sooner... Well, hindsight is 20/20, Roy. 143 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,419 What's important is that we move quickly. 144 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:54,628 [Monitor beeps] 145 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,797 [ Weakly ] I'm not ready to die. 146 00:04:56,881 --> 00:04:58,048 You're not going to. 147 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,846 Yeah! Whoo! Yeah! 148 00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:08,601 Hey, thanks for the carpet, Roy. 149 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,814 Man: Hey, Roy, you pulled those persian off—white shags 150 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,191 for the clearance sale? 151 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,945 Whoa. Sh... shit! 152 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:21,071 [ Bones crack] Oh! 153 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:22,072 [ Beeping ] 154 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,156 Whoa! What the hell?! 155 00:05:23,199 --> 00:05:24,658 W-W-Where am I?! 156 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,219 - What in the hell?! - 55 years. Not bad, morty. 157 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:27,828 You kind of wasted your 303, though, 158 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,222 with that whole bird-watching phase. 159 00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,246 W-Where's my wife?! 160 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,641 Morty, you were just playing a game. 161 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,541 It's called "Roy." 162 00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:33,417 Snap out of it. Come on. 163 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,336 I'm morty. You're Rick. 164 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,259 Hey! You sold a gun to a guy that kills people! 165 00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:38,797 Look at this -— you beat cancer, 166 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,817 and then you went back to work at the carpet store? 167 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,759 Boo! 168 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,177 D-Don't dodge the issue, Rick! 169 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,846 Selling a gun to a hit man is the same as pulling the trigger! 170 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:47,431 It's also the same as doing nothing. 171 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,308 If krombopulos Michael wants someone dead, 172 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,268 there's not a lot anyone can do to stop him. 173 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,770 That's why he does it for a living. 174 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,564 Now excuse me. It's time to thrash your "Roy" score. 175 00:05:55,648 --> 00:05:57,501 You know, you could stop this killing from happening, Rick! 176 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,336 You know, you did a bad thing selling that gun, 177 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,111 but you could undo it if you wanted. 178 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,339 Uh-huh, yeah, that's the difference 179 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,697 between you and me, morty. 180 00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:05,175 I never go back to the carpet store. 181 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,325 Holy shit! 182 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,677 This guy's taking Roy off the grid! 183 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,953 [ All gasp] 184 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,056 This guy doesn't have a social security number for Roy! 185 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,165 [ All murmuring ] 186 00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:18,128 Hi. I'm sorry. 187 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,606 I think there was a misunderstanding. 188 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,549 I'm an adult and would like to go home, please. 189 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:24,885 Well, of course. Right through that tube. 190 00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,470 Unbelievable. 191 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:29,515 You're doing great. 192 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,267 I know how to crawl in a tube. 193 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,686 [Sighs] Come on. 194 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:34,769 Oh. 195 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:35,972 This is harder than it looks. 196 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,022 Whoa! 197 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:40,067 - Marco? - Polo! 198 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,402 [ Laughs] Marco? 199 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:42,903 Come find me. 200 00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:44,071 Marco? 201 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,364 You guys are enjoying this? 202 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,408 Don't you feel a little patronized? 203 00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:48,367 How so? 204 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,952 - Jerry! - Beth. 205 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,745 Oh, come on. This is ridiculous. 206 00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:54,081 I love you, Jerry. 207 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,749 Aw, Beth. 208 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,419 Who wants to come watch "midnight run" 209 00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,963 with director's commentary on? 210 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,464 - Yeah! - Definitely. 211 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:05,384 First one there gets to adjust the picture setting! 212 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,720 [Gasdsi the factory tint setting is always too high! 213 00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:08,804 Out of my way. 214 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,287 The tint setting is always too high. 215 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,559 [ Mid-tempo music plays ] 216 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,021 N“ 217 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,112 [ Smooches ] 218 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,031 Oh, boy. Here I go killing again. 219 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,953 Aah! 220 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,081 Aah! 221 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,378 - Arh! - [ Neck snaps] 222 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,299 Aah! 223 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,093 [Scanner chirping] 224 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,928 - Aah! - [ Neck snaps] 225 00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:55,934 [Warbling ] 226 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:04,568 You have arrived at krombopulos Michael. 227 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,278 Your destination is below. 228 00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,697 We're all out of off-white persian. 229 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:11,617 Oh, man! W-W-What have I done?! 230 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,327 - Drop the gun. - You don't understand! 231 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,690 This guy was gonna kill someone! 232 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,455 I guess that makes two of us. 233 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,538 [Rifle charging] 234 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:18,582 Aah! 235 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,626 What are you doing, morty? 236 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,145 This is a galactic federation outpost! 237 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,380 Look, I don't have time to tell you my entire backstory, 238 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:26,107 but grandpa and government don't get along. 239 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,716 Alien: He saved my life. 240 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,301 - — What? - Huh?! Whoa! 241 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:31,762 Are you krombopulos Michael's target? 242 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,971 W-What's your name? 243 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:34,973 My kind has no use for names. 244 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:38,602 I communicate through what you call "Jessica's feet" —- 245 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,354 no, "telepathy." 246 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,480 Oh, good job, morty. 247 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,023 Y-You killed my best customer, 248 00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:44,942 but you saved a mind-reading fart. 249 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,860 I like this name -— fart. 250 00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,904 Morty, would you kindly release me 251 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,573 by pulling that lever to the left of my cell? 252 00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,492 I am in great pain. 253 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,536 Rick: Morty, don't do it. 254 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:56,620 Morty... 255 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:58,807 - Morty, you idiot. - [Alarm blaring ] 256 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,416 Oh, crap. Let's get you out of here! 257 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,102 We can't get him out of here. He's gaseous. 258 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:03,966 He's not gonna make it through a portal, morty. 259 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,939 Well, then, I guess we're all getting in the car. 260 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,297 Right, uh -— - fart. 261 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,091 No! Just —- j—just get in the car! 262 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,175 Morty, come on. 263 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:11,653 I want to go back to blips and chitz. 264 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:12,779 I don't want to deal with this. 265 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,030 Rick, you've been clear on the fact 266 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,699 that you don't want to help, so just go away. 267 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,349 More are coming. 268 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,309 Screw this. I'm out. 269 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,604 [Engine sputtering] 270 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,190 Whoa! Come on, come on! 271 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,152 Get out of the vehicle made of garbage or we will open fire! 272 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,235 [Engine sputtering] 273 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:30,529 Um, um, um, um! 274 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:31,905 Open fire! 275 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,240 Aah! 276 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,795 Stupid-ass, fart—saving, carpet-store motherfucker. Move! 277 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,547 Wait, did you fuck with my seat settings? 278 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,632 [Motor whirring ] 279 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,926 More are coming. 280 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:55,262 Rick! 281 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,472 Yeah, yeah. 282 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,648 Your geldon convertor is pretty dinged up. 283 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:09,610 That's because my grandson drives like a male obravadian. 284 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,196 Yeah, I said it... some stereotypes are based in fact. 285 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,615 Actually, it's because of years of neglect. 286 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,034 You really need to respect your gears, Rick. 287 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,636 To you, they're just wheels with teeth, 288 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,788 but in my culture, wars have been fought —- 289 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,581 so I've heard. Just fix it. 290 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,583 I don't think the gromflamites can track us now, 291 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,627 but it looks like we're gonna be here for a while. 292 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,379 Or, you know, if you still have that gun k. Michael dropped, 293 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,256 we could finish the job and go home. 294 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,050 You do understand I'm telepathic, right 295 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,343 I'm being polite. 296 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,220 Rick, we're taking him back where he belongs. 297 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,679 Oh, yeah? Where's that? [ Belches ] 298 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,324 Are you going on a quest to find he who smelt it? 299 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,725 I came here accidentally through a wormhole 300 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,895 located in what you call "get out of my head, fart. 301 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,189 I know you're in here. La—ia—ia-ia -—" 302 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,983 no, in what you call the promethean nebula. 303 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:53,153 Oh, great. Just a hop, skip, and an 800-light-yearjump. 304 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:55,656 You know, you can leave anytime you want, Rick. 305 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,592 Whatever you want to do, you little punk-ass little bitch. 306 00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:58,909 Thank you, morty. 307 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,745 You are not like other carbon—based life-forms. 308 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:04,206 You put the value of all life above your own. 309 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,749 It's how things should be. 310 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:06,875 It's how they could be. 311 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,086 I could not agree more. 312 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,880 J” the worlds can be one together j“ 313 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:14,675 j” cosmos without hatred j“ 314 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:18,428 j” stars like diamonds in your eyes j” 315 00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,642 j” the ground can be space j” 316 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:27,020 j” space, space, space, space j” 317 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:32,442 j” with feet marching towards a peaceful sky j” 318 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:38,699 j” all the moon men want things their way j” 319 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:44,413 j” but we make sure they see the sun j” 320 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:51,420 j” goodbye, moon men j” 321 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:58,343 j” you say goodbye, moon men j” 322 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,762 j” goodbye... j” 323 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,139 shut the fuck up about moon men! 324 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,432 This isn't a musical number. 325 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,100 This is a fucking operation. 326 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,436 We got to be cool and fucking lay low. 327 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:10,272 [ Clicks, computer chimes] 328 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,065 [ Laughing ] Duck, duck, birdie? 329 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,191 [ Laughs] 330 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,526 That's very funny! 331 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,070 Here comes another funny. 332 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,071 [ Clicks, computer chimes] 333 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,156 [ Laughs] 334 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,783 Oh, this place is great. 335 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,077 I almost wish I could stay longer than one day. 336 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,412 You just might. 337 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,538 W-What do you mean? 338 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,876 These are the Jerrys whose ricks and mortys never came back. 339 00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:37,090 They live here now. 340 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,175 Uh. 341 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,929 [ Rock music plays ] 342 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,097 [ Engine revs] 343 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,349 [ Tires screech] 344 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,228 [ Dramatic music plays ] 345 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:52,397 No gear-turnings as of yet in the curious case 346 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,441 of these unident/tied humanoid fugitives, 347 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,985 reportedly at large somewhere within the gear system. 348 00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,236 Son of a... 349 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,197 Why were the gromflamites holding you prisoner? 350 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,949 What the fuck is so valuable about you? 351 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:04,409 I am no more valuable than life itself. 352 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,537 However, I am able to alter the composition of atoms, 353 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:08,830 like this. 354 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:09,831 [ Electricity crackling ] 355 00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:11,541 That was oxygen. 356 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,543 Iadded 71 protons to it. 357 00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:16,546 Terrific. The fart that pooped gold. 358 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,799 No wonder every cop in the system is looking for us. 359 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:20,592 Any species that gets a hold of this thing 360 00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:22,427 is gonna use it to take over the galaxy. 361 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:24,591 You know how inconvenient that's gonna be to my work? 362 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,098 [Sirens wailing] 363 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,726 Somebody dropped the dime on us. 364 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,810 Gearhead! 365 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,020 I'm sorry, Rick. 366 00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:34,356 The reward on your head is too high. 367 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,732 And like you always say, 368 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,859 you got to look out for number one. 369 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,569 Number one is me, asshole! 370 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,988 You're supposed to be my friend! 371 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:44,241 Fnend?! Do you even know my real name? 372 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,035 It's revolio clockberg junior. 373 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,663 I belong to an entire species of gear people. 374 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:50,998 Calling me "gearhead" 375 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:54,167 is like calling a Chinese person "Asia face." 376 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,460 No! Not twigs! [Groans] 377 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,546 [Muffled screaming ] 378 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:02,259 Two things I want to make clear to everybody in this room —- 379 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,386 never betray me, and it's time to go. 380 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,679 [Muffled screaming ] 381 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,392 Nobody move! 382 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,185 [Muffled screaming ] 383 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,979 Oh, my god. Are those... 384 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,775 J”j” 385 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:26,825 [Grunts] 386 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,916 [ Screams ] 387 00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,269 Hey, morty, remember when you said 388 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:38,253 selling a gun was as bad as pulling the trigger? 389 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,647 How do you feel about all these people 390 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,691 that are getting killed today because of your choices? 391 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,133 I did the right thing, Rick! 392 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,510 - Tell that to gearhead's gearsticles. - You did that! 393 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,929 Wrong! I'd be playing "Roy" right now. 394 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,307 At a certain point, my hands are tied, morty. 395 00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:53,310 [Sighs] 396 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,062 I can't believe Rick did this. 397 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,230 - This is the eighth to the last straw. - Ante up. 398 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,732 You know what? Screw it! 399 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,650 I have a better gamble for you guys. 400 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,653 I say we escape. 401 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,031 If you want to leave, you can just go out the front door. 402 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,116 You think we're kept here against our will? 403 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,826 That would be illegal. 404 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,913 But if you can leave, then why are you still here? 405 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,373 Same reason as you. 406 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:16,875 We're Jerrys. 407 00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,170 I'm leaving. 408 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,923 Okay, then. That was always allowed. 409 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,341 J”j” 410 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,056 Morty, take the wheel! 411 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,015 - Whoa! - Whoa! 412 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,142 Geez! Damn it, morty! 413 00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:35,453 Who taught you to fly this thing? 414 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,270 [Laughs] I'm kidding. I know that's on me. 415 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,147 Um, Rick! 416 00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,231 Rick: Shit. 417 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,316 Well, I guess this is it. 418 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,318 Morty, crack the window. 419 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,410 I wonder why Greg is always so critical of my girlfriend. 420 00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:55,122 Well, he'd probably like to have me to himself. 421 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,498 That's how friends are. 422 00:15:56,581 --> 00:16:00,043 Or does he want her to himself? 423 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,879 J” the worlds can be one together j” 424 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,966 j” cosmos without hatred j” 425 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:09,845 j” stars like diamonds in your eyes j” 426 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:12,013 my life is a fucking joke! 427 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:17,102 J” goodbye, moon men j” 428 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:24,401 j” you say goodbye, moon men j” 429 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:30,991 j” goodbye, moon men j” 430 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:36,079 all right. Let's proceed. 431 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,205 Damn. 432 00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,166 Can't blame that on the dog. 433 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:40,584 Talk about silent but deadly. 434 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,335 I-I've seen some nerve gas, 435 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,629 but that -— this gas got nerve! 436 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:46,089 [ Laughs] You know what I'm saying? 437 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,692 - Are you done? - I'll let you know, morty. 438 00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,342 Gone with the wind! Am I right?! 439 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,094 If you don't like that one, morty, 440 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,471 an alt on that could be, like, if I said "gasablanca"! 441 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:54,639 All right, I'm done. 442 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:57,392 Let's get to the promethean nebula, 443 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,227 so my grandson can finish saving a life! 444 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,776 [Trills] 445 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:09,404 Glagga blag blag. 446 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,489 Um, earth, please? 447 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,201 [ Growls ] 448 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,119 Is this... do I pay? 449 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,245 Agga blag blag blag! 450 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,080 [Indistinct shouting] 451 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,333 Oh, I'm sorry, sorry! 452 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:25,128 Ohh. 453 00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:26,671 Hmm. 454 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:27,672 Mm, hey. 455 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,090 [ Hisses] Aah! 456 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,509 Agga blag blag? 457 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,677 Oh, uh, hey. What? 458 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,387 - Agga blag! - Uh, what do you want? 459 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,306 - Agga blag blag - — ohh! 460 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,432 Uh... 461 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,559 [ Speaking native language ] 462 00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,478 [Whimpering] 463 00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,356 [Moaning] 464 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,692 [Alarm blaring ] 465 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,071 [Wailing in distance] 466 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,155 [Whimpers] 467 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,866 [Shouting in alien language] 468 00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:03,667 Hey. Are you the one that left? 469 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,544 I get it. 470 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,505 It's a -— It's a hassle out there. 471 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,174 Right? And who needs that? 472 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:12,467 - Right? - Right? 473 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,302 - Not me. - Who needs that? 474 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:15,303 Ho, ho! Not us. 475 00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,721 Uh, who are you? 476 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:19,307 Oh, excuse me. Paul fleischman. 477 00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:20,767 Infinite timelines. 478 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,310 In some of them, Beth remarries. 479 00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:23,395 - Geez. - Don't worry. 480 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:24,771 I treat Beth very well, 481 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,856 and I do not overstep my bounds with morty. 482 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,734 Every kid needs a dad, but there's no replacing you. 483 00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:31,458 Hey, you want to give us a hand with this? 484 00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:33,339 We're trying to figure out how to get the sound 485 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,882 coming through the stereo instead of the TV. 486 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,491 I-I-It's very difficult. 487 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,827 Oh! Uh, well, is there an aux input? 488 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,162 We tried that, but there's two different colors. 489 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,622 But there's two different colors. 490 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,417 [ Growls ] 491 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,839 Fart: The wormhole is 70 of what you call "meters" 492 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,341 what you call "north" of what you call "here." 493 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:56,344 Fine. Morty, take your fart to his hole and say your goodbyes. 494 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:59,306 I'm gonna find some fuel and take a big, fat morty. 495 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,808 That's my new word for shit because of today's events. 496 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,935 J”j” 497 00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:09,691 here it is. 498 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,360 This should take me back to my kind. 499 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,904 I'm gonna miss you, um, fart. 500 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,656 I'm really sorry your name became fart. 501 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:19,326 - I will be back soon, morty. - Really? 502 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,953 After I return to the others with this location, 503 00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:23,913 we will be back for your cleansing. 504 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,707 Um, cleansing? 505 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,710 Carbon—based life is a threat to all higher life. 506 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:31,254 To us, you are what you would call a disease. 507 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,298 Wherever we discover you, we cure it. 508 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,717 You said yourself that life must be protected, 509 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,510 even though sacrifice. 510 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,804 You haven't changed your mind about that. 511 00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,015 I can sense your thoughts. 512 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,099 Morty? 513 00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:48,396 Um, before you go, could you sing a —- 514 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,689 c-could you sing for me again? 515 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,608 Yes, morty. 516 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,611 J” cosmos without hatred j” 517 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,906 j” diamond stars of cosmic light j” 518 00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:02,744 j” quasars shine through endless night j” 519 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:08,958 j” and everything is one in the beauty j” 520 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,753 j” and now we say goodbye j” 521 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:12,837 aah! 522 00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:18,051 [ Weakly ] Morty, why? Why? 523 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,470 [Groaning] 524 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:25,642 Goodbye. 525 00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:28,686 So, did you guys make out a little bit? 526 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,647 Is he gonna send you a postcard? 527 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,608 Man, that guy hit the lottery when he crossed paths with you. 528 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,486 Morty, I know I picked on your core beliefs 529 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,904 and decision making a lot today, 530 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,090 but I am glad that you insisted 531 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:40,740 on getting that fart home. 532 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,009 You know, at least all the death and destruction 533 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,827 wasn't for nothing, you know? 534 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,496 You miss your fart friend, huh? 535 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,140 Well, I got a little surprise for you, buddy. 536 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,844 While you were gone, I found a new wormhole 537 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,852 with millions of beings just like him on the other side, 538 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,062 and they're all coming to visit. 539 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,629 What?! Rick, no! You can't! 540 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:55,940 Too late, morty. The hole's opening. 541 00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,340 No, Rick! You don't understand. 542 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,425 [Farts ] 543 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,250 There's —- there's a lot more where that came from, too. 544 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,598 [ Indistinct conversations ] 545 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,142 Hey, hey, bro, how many people 546 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:09,060 was your morty responsible for killing today? 547 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,104 None. We chilled at blips and chitz all day. 548 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,522 Ain't that right, homey? 549 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,774 Darn right, bro! "Roy" rules! 550 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:15,859 [ Laughter] 551 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,193 Must be nice. 552 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,612 Hey, morty, there's our Jerry. 553 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:22,073 Mm! I missed you. Hey, Rick. 554 00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:23,283 Glad you're safe, Jerry. 555 00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:25,994 - What do you say we go home? - I'd like that. 556 00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:28,079 Hey, wait. Uh, do you have 5126? 557 00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:30,665 Uh, I'm not sure. Morty. 558 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,625 Uh, that's a blips and chitz ticket. 559 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,502 - What?! - [ Scoffs ] Way to go, morty. 560 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:35,753 Eh, whatever. 561 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,755 - Uh, w-wait. What? - Uh, w-wait. What? 562 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,479 Come on, Jerry. All right. Come on, Jerry. 563 00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:42,552 J”j” 564 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,124 Are you tired of the same daily dro/I? 565 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,418 Well, get on over to bl/ps and chitz! 566 00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:17,378 We got, uh, one game. 567 00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:18,822 We got a whole bunch of games here. 568 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,341 You can... we got chabos and f/obos, 569 00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:22,675 and you can shoot things. I 570 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:24,886 get 0 ver here! Play the games! 571 00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,846 Uh, use your flerbos to get tickets! 572 00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:29,098 ”R0 y 2 ” just got here. 573 00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,392 Get 0 ver here at jitz and chitz! 574 00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,102 It's the coolest place in the world. 575 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:34,103 [ Laughs] 576 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,507 Uh, I get to be in the commercial! 577 00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:38,649 [ Shouting ] 578 00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:40,310 Man: Did you get any of that? 579 00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:42,237 Man: [ Italian accent] It's a good show.