1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,045 All: J” love j” 2 00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,755 j” connection j” 3 00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,841 j” experience j” 4 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,634 yeah, morty. 5 00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:10,970 J” come together j” 6 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:14,098 j” with love, connection, and experience j” 7 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,350 - it's my favorite song. - Oh, yeah. 8 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:19,645 Oh, yeah, distress beacon! 9 00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:20,897 Yeah, baby! 10 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,356 You're excited about that? 11 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,880 The first rule of space travel, kids, 12 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,693 is always check out distress beacons. 13 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,778 9 out of 10 times, it's a ship full of dead aliens 14 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,614 and a bunch of free shit! 15 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,817 - Both: Whoa! - 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap, 16 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,951 but I'm ready to roll those dice. 17 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,038 J”j” 18 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,711 seems like something terrible happened here. 19 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,046 Yep. Cha—ching. 20 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,381 Oh, yeah, if you find a room full of eggs, 21 00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:48,674 dontshy away from it. 22 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,134 Give one of them a shake. 23 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,987 Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship. 24 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,095 - Uh, what's that? 25 00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,198 This'ii make the cops write it up 26 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,514 as a looting by the korblocks. 27 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,598 That's horrible. 28 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,809 I hear you, man. Cops are racist. 29 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,771 Oh, hey. You're alive. Thank god. 30 00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,397 Can you help us? 31 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,108 Our planet was taken over by some kind of... entity. 32 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,944 It absorbed the minds of our people. 33 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,779 We didn't notice until it was too late. 34 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:10,988 The people it takes over, 35 00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,490 they... they look like your friends, 36 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,741 your family, your leaders, 37 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,702 but they're not themselves anymore. 38 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:19,080 They're part of... it. 39 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,415 Then how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you? 40 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,819 Those two dingdongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing. 41 00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,046 Hey, no! No, wait! Stop! 42 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:29,881 Called it. 43 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,594 All: Hello, Rick. 44 00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:34,887 Long time no see. 45 00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:35,846 Unity? 46 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,931 - Rick? - Grandpa? 47 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,432 Oh, boy. Uh... 48 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,910 These are my grandkids, summer and morty. 49 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,144 Summer, morty, this is, uh, unity. 50 00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:45,273 We sort of used to, uh... date. 51 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,359 J”j” 52 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,737 j”j” 53 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,101 Quite an operation you got going here, une. 54 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,632 You're a whole planet now, huh? 55 00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,925 After we broke up, 56 00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,844 I spent some time wandering through space. 57 00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:17,221 - Then I found this world... - Where I was better able 58 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,890 to focus on my passion for unification. 59 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,475 You mean stealing people's bodies? 60 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:22,893 Summer, rude. 61 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,038 Why don't you two kids go run off and play with unity 62 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,814 while unity and I do some catching up. 63 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,399 Ugh. No, wait, Rick, 64 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,794 aren't these people gonna barf into our mouths and absorb us? 65 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,153 You're guests here on my planet. 66 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:33,654 You're free to be yourselves. 67 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,865 I've never been any good at disappointing Rick. 68 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,158 Well, now /'/77 going to barf. 69 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,909 Come on, morty. 70 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,933 Jerry, what are you —- what are you doing in here? 71 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:47,752 I'm trying to find our weed whacker, 72 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,379 'cause our weeds are wack, yo. 73 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,316 But you can't go in the garage when Rick's not here. 74 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,674 I "can't"? 75 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,402 - Well, he doesn't like it. - What's he gonna do? 76 00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,970 Crash rent-free at his ofherfamily's house? 77 00:02:58,054 --> 00:02:59,114 Beth: What is that supposed to mean? 78 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,890 Your dad gets to walk all over us 79 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,100 because of your abandonment issues. 80 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,852 He's playing you, shorty. 81 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,812 Oh, stop affecting that stupid hip-hop dialect. 82 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,857 Stop shifting the cross hairs to my ironic urban patois 83 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,817 just because your relationship with your father 84 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,694 isto'up from the flo' up. 85 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,156 What the hell was that? 86 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,479 I don't know. Let's just leave. 87 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,370 That is a hatch. 88 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,705 Your father put a hatch in my garage. 89 00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,123 You don't know it was him. 90 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,958 Anyway, we're not supposed to be in here. 91 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:31,212 Obviously, neither is whatever's gurgling down there. 92 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,385 "World peace achieved." Nice. 93 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,136 Little weird to publish a paper about it 94 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,096 for yourself, but hey. 95 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:41,347 So, what's next? 96 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,349 After I become a type-one civilization, 97 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:47,061 this world will be invited into the galactic federation. 98 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,145 Oh, goody. 99 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,247 From there, I'll have access to 100 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,065 countless planets and species. 101 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,983 One by one, I will unify them, 102 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,276 I will become the universe, 103 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,278 and I will be what the single-minded 104 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,362 once called a god. 105 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,823 I like that. 106 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,408 Oh, that's pretty sexy. 107 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,427 Hey, listen, where can we get a drink around here? 108 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,745 Recreational substances were phased out here. 109 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,914 There's no need for escape from the self 110 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,165 when your world is one. 111 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,792 Unity, unity, who am I talking to? 112 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,961 I watched you assimilate a whole police station 113 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,130 just to get your hands on the evidence locker. 114 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,715 Rick, when we met, I was a young hive mind 115 00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,593 with the population of a small town. 116 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,821 People change... 117 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,045 Especially when I change them. 118 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,347 I'm sorry to disappoint you, 119 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,015 but I've grown. 120 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,017 Hey, listen, I've grown, too. 121 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,769 I have! 122 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,539 See, I've -— I've reconnected with my family, right? 123 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,064 Hm. Why's that, I wonder? 124 00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,858 Maybe it's part of getting old. 125 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:37,653 Maybe I just missed being with a collective. 126 00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:40,739 All: Yes, Rick. Yes. 127 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,283 - Oh, yeah. - Yes. Yes. 128 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,326 Wait, wait. Stop. Hold it. 129 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,036 Not like this. 130 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,037 We need a hang glider 131 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,432 and a crotchless uncle Sam costume, 132 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,708 and I want the entire field of your largest stadium 133 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,418 covered end to end with naked redheads, 134 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,961 and I want the stands packed 135 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,422 with every man that remotely resembles my father. 136 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,346 Man, look at them go. So coordinated. 137 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,849 I gulps I what's your problem? 138 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,532 They're making you into a mount rushmore. 139 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,810 They made burgers! 140 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,061 Morty, open your eyes. 141 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,480 There is no "they." 142 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,940 These poor people's bodies are being used. 143 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,144 They're a planet of puppets. 144 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,818 - I can hear you. - Ugh. 145 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,362 Well, it seems like everybody here's cool with it. 146 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:21,822 Except for all those redheads. 147 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,199 They seem like they're in a hurry 148 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,366 to be somewhere else. 149 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,535 Balloon, summer? Balloon, morty? 150 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,537 No, we don't want your dumb balloons, okay? 151 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,247 We're bored. Take us back to Rick. 152 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,082 Now's not a good time. 153 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,960 Oh, yeah! 154 00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,880 I want yooooooou! 155 00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:39,131 All: Go, son, go! 156 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:42,384 Go, son, go! Go, son, go! 157 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,013 Oh, real nice. Rea/nice. 158 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,973 How does a man do this without me noticing? 159 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,099 Oh, you know my dad 160 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,410 once he puts his mind to something. 161 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,019 You're spinning this to his credit? 162 00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,481 I'm going down there. 163 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,191 - Jerry... - Beth, this is my house, 164 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:59,401 which makes this my garage, my secret hatch, 165 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,988 my hidden subterranean lair, and my faceless gargler. 166 00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,740 Now, are you gonna keep hating this playa 167 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,492 or are you gonna Jack my steez? 168 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,494 Okay, you're just making stuff up now. 169 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,454 Ugh. Oh, my god. 170 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,830 Oh, my god. 171 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,541 Ugh! 172 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,210 Oh, Rick. That was so bad. 173 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,336 What's this "was" stuff? 174 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,712 I just need to hydrate, 175 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,090 then we're doing that again. 176 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,933 - Oh, damn. - Listen, if this is an invasion, 177 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,218 I got to sit this one out, 178 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,181 but I'll be back to have sex with the survivors. 179 00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:27,972 It's a neighboring hive-mind species, 180 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,098 beta seven. 181 00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:30,975 Our planets maintain a practical alliance 182 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,685 for exchange of vital resources, 183 00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,436 so be nice. 184 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,521 Unity, 185 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,691 is it a bad time? 186 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:42,736 Are all present life forms assimilated? 187 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,573 Beta seven, this is my single-minded friend 188 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,740 from earth, Rick. 189 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,826 Rick Sanchez. 190 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,578 Unity has spoken of you. 191 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,371 All bad, I hope. Ha ha! 192 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,664 All: Bleeeeeeeeeh! 193 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,040 Oh, Jesus Christ. 194 00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,710 Beta seven, if my allies are a problem for you, 195 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,670 perhaps our alliance is, as well. 196 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,380 Our alliance is beneficial. 197 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,424 When beta seven expresses concern, 198 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,050 it... it's only be—because —- 199 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,678 Rick: Oh, snap! Powdered neutronium? 200 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,762 Amphetetron? 201 00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,598 You know I can make with this stuff? 202 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,850 Oh, Rick, I... I shouldn't. 203 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,935 Come on. It's not every day that I'm town. 204 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,687 It's... It's for old time's sake. 205 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,064 Uh... okay, what the hell. 206 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,942 We can purify the resin and make fractal dust. 207 00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,528 Oh, I was thinking velocitinis, but... 208 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,531 Aw, old man Rick can't party with a whole planet? 209 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,661 I can do whatever you do and more, baby. 210 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,707 You know, I think beta seven over there 211 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,001 is hoping your alliance can be more than practical. 212 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,628 Stop. 213 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:48,594 Well, this explains the $6,000 electric bill. 214 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,096 Whoa! 215 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,810 Well, nice. Rea/nice. 216 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,604 Alien prisoners under the house. 217 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,064 Real nice. 218 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,149 N ice. Reeeeeeeeeeeeea/... 219 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,401 God damn it, stop. 220 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,446 Wake up, people! You have to fight it! 221 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,948 You're under the spell of an evil monster! 222 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,785 - I can hear you. - Yeah, so you keep saying. 223 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,913 - Summer! - Wake up! 224 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,123 You have to have some individuality left in there! 225 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500 Why do you hate me, summer? 226 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,085 I'm not talking to you. 227 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,587 I'm talking to... Steven Phillips. 228 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,173 Steven, set yourself free. 229 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,550 Summer, before I took over this planet, 230 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,136 this man was a registered sex offender. 231 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,889 Yeah? Well, so what? At least he was himself. 232 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:36,934 This woman was a drug addict on the verge of suicide. 233 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,852 Now she's a marine biologist. 234 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,914 Listen, unity, I don't think my sister's trying to say 235 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,290 that life would be perfect without you. 236 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,000 I think she's just saying that life would be, 237 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,275 you know, life. 238 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,112 I have transformed life here into a paradise. 239 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,155 Prostitutes are now scientists. 240 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,408 The homeless are now "phisosophers." 241 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,159 Oh. Oh. "Ph-phisosophers"? Nice. 242 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,328 - Philopol... phiphophopher... - Oh, my god. 243 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,348 Where did you learn to talk, you grandpa-stealing slut? 244 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,374 I'm feeling... 245 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,377 Ugh. 246 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671 Oh, man, let me help all of you guys up. 247 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,715 All: I'm fine. 248 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,012 Do you know what I love about you, Rick? 249 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,973 You're the only single mind I've met 250 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,599 that really sees the big picture. 251 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,017 You got that right. 252 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,602 But, baby, listen -... 253 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,105 Y—you're talking about taking over planets and galaxies. 254 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,565 You got to —- got to just remember 255 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,066 to let go sometimes, you know? 256 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,192 I can let go. Hey, look. 257 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,636 You see that town across the river? 258 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,154 Watch this. 259 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,489 - Whoa! - Ha ha! Whoo! 260 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,074 Whoa! That's not what I meant! 261 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,535 It's okay. It's okay. 262 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,496 I evacuated. I evacuated the town. Look. 263 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,332 All: Hey! We're right here. We're fine. 264 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:50,048 Oh, that was awesome. 265 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,259 My... my grandkids weren't in that town, right? 266 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,219 A-Are my grandkids alive? 267 00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,346 M-My drink is empty. 268 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,521 J”j” 269 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,116 - Unity, what's happening? - Who's unity? 270 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,744 You kids have nice feet. Mind if I take a picture? 271 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,371 Gross. No. 272 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,665 Morty: I think you're getting what you wanted, summer. 273 00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,709 Something's happening to unity. 274 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,504 Do all of you remember who you are? 275 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,048 Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson. 276 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,009 I'm an electrical engineer, father of two, 277 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,679 and, as you can see from my flat, concentric nipple rings, 278 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,224 I'm a member of this planet's top race! 279 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,975 Okay, that's good. 280 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,436 Uh, don't focus too much on the last part, but —- 281 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,397 I'm Daryl Jefferson. I'm a landscaper. 282 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,024 And I'll be damned if 283 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,401 that ripple—nipple bitch's race is superior! 284 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,403 The cone-nipple people will rule this world! 285 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,864 You shut your mouth, you dirty knife—nipple bastards. 286 00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:56,990 What'd you say to me, 287 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,201 you target-chest piece of shit. 288 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,036 Race war! 289 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,961 Ugh! 290 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,714 Why are you fighting?! 291 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,008 Can't you see you're all the same? 292 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,510 Oh, summer. 293 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,011 First race war, huh? 294 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,228 Way to go, summer. You started a race war. 295 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,897 I didn't start it! They're the racists. 296 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,232 I... I merely empowered them 297 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,192 to follow their apparently misguided dreams. 298 00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,777 Okay, thanks for clarifying. 299 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,737 I'll have a super-accurate headstone now. 300 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,090 Hey, wait —- what race are you guys? 301 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,198 We're neither. S-See? 302 00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,908 Yeah, take my word for it. 303 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,702 We just have regular nipples. 304 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,121 Hey, these two freaks have no race! 305 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,205 J”j” 306 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,837 Oh, there's no place like home. 307 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,523 There's no place like home. Remember, summer? 308 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,067 From Dorothy and the tiny people movie? 309 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,258 Yes, yes. 310 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,218 - All the tiny people. - Dorothy, take us away. 311 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:01,722 J”j” 312 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,603 hello, summer. Hello, morty. 313 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,188 - It's okay. You're safe now. - Unity? 314 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,400 - Yes. - Oh, unity, I am so sorry. 315 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,194 I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. 316 00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,696 I was thinking more of 317 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,615 a choose your own cellphone-carrier thing. 318 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,074 Oh, summer, you did nothing wrong. 319 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,784 I'm having fun with your grandpa. 320 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,077 Lost a little control. 321 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,330 Probably shouldn't be piloting a hovercopter, 322 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,166 nor should I be running 200,000 pediatric hospitals 323 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,667 and 12 million deep fryers, 324 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,071 but hey, it's not like this planet 325 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,545 can take its business elsewhere. 326 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,505 Um, should we maybe stop somewhere 327 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,965 and get you a coffee? 328 00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,009 Maybe splash a little water on your face, or... 329 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,928 No, no, if I wanted to be sober, 330 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,721 I wouldn't have gotten drunk. 331 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:43,805 Whoo—hoo—hoo! 332 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,519 Oh, man. I cannot wait... 333 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,648 I cannot wait to hear Rick explain his way around this. 334 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,982 He is gone. 335 00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,275 Jerry, stop, please, okay? 336 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,920 We weren't even supposed to be down here. 337 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,212 If we confront him about this —- 338 00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,780 oh, my god! I love this. 339 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:02,282 I love that this is how far you will go for him. 340 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,660 You want to go upstairs and cut carrots 341 00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,286 and watch a lifetime original 342 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,872 above a fucking alien dungeon! 343 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,792 Your relationship with your father is psychotic. 344 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,293 Oh, listen to you relish the idea 345 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,170 that my genius father is a bad person. 346 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,880 Step out of your ego for a second 347 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,840 and look at this thing... It's a monster. 348 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,175 He might have it chained up 349 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,760 so that it doesn't eat the planet! 350 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,012 Right, because your father's such an altruist? 351 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,683 I once saw him briefly forget the word for "humans." 352 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,893 He's probably harvesting this creature's organs. 353 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,895 He's probably racing to cure its space aids. 354 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,739 - He's going to eat it! - He's protecting it! 355 00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,649 Both: Shut up! 356 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,069 Whoa! 357 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,988 Unity, this place is a mess. 358 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,197 Oh, it's cool. 359 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,299 The part of me that's the cleaning lady 360 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,658 is coming on Friday. 361 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,326 [Gasdsi oh, my god. I have a meeting 362 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,245 at the galactic federation in an hour. 363 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,329 Oh, I'll never make it. 364 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,956 Ah, I'll push it to next week. 365 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,000 Unity, could you get Rick out here, please? 366 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,626 He's unavailable. He's... 367 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,336 Having sex with you. We get it. Gross. 368 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,671 Get him out here now. 369 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,856 I don't think he wants to be... 370 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,049 - Grandpa Rick! - Rick! Rick! 371 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,843 I'm gonna tell mom and dad about the gagoo 372 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,320 you have locked up under the garage! 373 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,888 What the hell is your problem? 374 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,932 Grandpa, we need to go home, now. 375 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,809 Fine. Sheesh. 376 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,896 See you. 377 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,690 Uh, Rick, I think we should a//go. 378 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,043 Tend to your garden, kids. I'm kind of doing a thing here. 379 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,153 Whoo! 380 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,071 Grandpa Rick, we're not leaving without you. 381 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,073 Oh, my god, you guys. I get it. 382 00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,242 You're afraid the big, bad hive mind 383 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,369 is gonna steal your grandpa away. 384 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,954 Actually, no. I think unity's great 385 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,706 and you're a horrible influence on it. 386 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,374 - — What? - This isn't healthy, Rick. 387 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,002 You know, you're... You're really up to no good 388 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,087 around here a-at this place, you know? 389 00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,338 You and unity are like... 390 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,090 Like leggings and mid-calf boots. 391 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,759 You think you're great together, 392 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,136 but you're just bringing out the worst in each other. 393 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,764 Oh, gee. Boy, summer. Well put. 394 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,640 Uh, why don't we see what unity thinks? 395 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,725 Unity? 396 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,769 I'm just taking a little break from stuff. 397 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,812 You know? I need to relax. 398 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,939 Oh, hey, w-what's this on the news, guys? 399 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,149 L-i-let me turn it up. 400 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,650 In the news rode y, 401 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,319 this looks a lot worse than it is. 402 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,029 We 're really just having a good time. 403 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,447 Karen? Thanks, Todd 404 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,365 up next, are you a concerned grandchild 405 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,034 or just a buzz/(Ill? 406 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,952 We 'i/ tell you how you can know for sure. 407 00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,954 I think you two are a little outnumbered. 408 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,123 Okay, well, what if you did it for me? 409 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,375 What if you came with us as a favor to us 410 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,086 because you love us? 411 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,837 What? Dumb. Bye. 412 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,255 But Rick, summer's just... 413 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,150 Summer's just a hyper-emotional, needy little —- 414 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,485 what's the word I'm looking for here? 415 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:26,510 Uh... human. 416 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,095 It runs in the family. 417 00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,262 I can tolerate it, 418 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,546 butlcant give a crap about it. 419 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,099 Take a hike. 420 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,102 Take care of yourself, unity. 421 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,440 I'm not looking forjudgment, just a yes or no —- 422 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,400 can you assimilate a giraffe? 423 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,276 You're the worst! 424 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,113 No, you're the worst! You don't support this family! 425 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,572 All you care about is yourself! 426 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:48,925 You think supporting the family is about supporting you emotionally... 427 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,551 You've got two children being dragged across the cosmos 428 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,969 because it's never enough, Jerry! 429 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,179 By your dangerously ill father! 430 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,472 And you force me to watch it happen... 431 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,998 Because you'd rather lose them and lose me... 432 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,518 It's like to be afraid of losing anything 433 00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,602 - than lose him! - Because you cling... 434 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,645 And why? Because you're the child, Beth! 435 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,547 You, not me! You! 436 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,173 - Aah! - Aah! 437 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,758 - Oh, my god. - Aah! 438 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,349 Um, first of all, hello. 439 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,518 Uh, my name is blim blam the korblok. 440 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,395 Second of all, cards on the table, 441 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,188 I'm a murderer that eats babies, 442 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,774 and I came to this planet to eat babies. 443 00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:27,612 However, I am also carrying a highly infectious disease 444 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,991 that I suppose you could call "space aids" as you put it. 445 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,200 And Rick did chain me up 446 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,202 so that he could attempt to cure it. 447 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,329 At the same time, 448 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,331 Rick's motivation to cure my disease 449 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,500 was not to save my life or anyone else's, 450 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,753 but to patent and sell the cure for billions of blemflarcks. 451 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,297 But you know the reason why 452 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,340 I ripped my chains out of the wall? 453 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,218 And do you know whyl'm never coming back to this planet? 454 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:54,181 Because the two of you are the fucking worst! 455 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,850 You both hate yourselves and each other. 456 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,186 And the idea that it has anything to do with Rick 457 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,812 is laughable. 458 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,064 I'd laugh, but I'm biologically incapable. 459 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,858 That's how alien I am. 460 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,319 And even I'm sitting here listening to the two of you 461 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,238 and being like, "what the fuck"! 462 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,449 So good luck with your shitty marriage, 463 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,577 and tell Rick I'm sorry he has to deal with eitherof you. 464 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,038 Blim blam out. 465 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,378 You know what? I'm taking this. 466 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,551 How do you... what is this? 467 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:37,015 Uh, is there a slow setting? 468 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,018 Best door ever. 469 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:47,025 Rick: 470 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,528 Okay, okay. Now make them cry, but happy crying. 471 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,822 Now make them all make fun of the blonde one. 472 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,342 Now make them all do it on the table. 473 00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,534 I can't believe you created a whole show for me. 474 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,161 Now cancel it. 475 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,287 Okay, now put it back on. 476 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,957 All right, I'm bored. 477 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,458 Rick, is there a way for you 478 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,085 to call summer and morty? 479 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,504 - I feel bad that they -— - Tht. Screw those guys. 480 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,006 Ugh. I'll be right back. 481 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,133 Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, unity. 482 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,236 They're no different from any of the aimless 483 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,552 chumps that you occupy. 484 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,113 They just put you at the center of their lives 485 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,305 because you're powerful. 486 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,890 And then because they put you there, 487 00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,294 they want you to be less powerful. 488 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,410 Never gonna happen though, right? 489 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,519 All: Never. 490 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,604 Never. Back in a flash. 491 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,611 Best weekend ever, Rick. 492 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:35,031 I agree, Rick. Let's see how long we can go. 493 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,951 Hey, une. You got any more —- 494 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,956 female unity: Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes. 495 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:46,543 I'm not strong enough to do it in persons. 496 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,312 Delivery guy: /realize now that I'm attracted to you 497 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,588 for the same reason I can't be with you. 498 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,257 You can't change. 499 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,551 Beggar: And / have no problem with that, 500 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,470 but it clearly means lha ve a problem with myself. 501 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,914 Newspaper vendor: I'm sure there's no perfect version of me. 502 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,726 I'm sure / 'i/ just uniij/ species after species 503 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,561 and never really be complete. 504 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,564 Female president: But / know how it goes with us. 505 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,524 I/ose who I am and become part of you. 506 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,942 Because in a strange way, 507 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,611 you're better at what / do without e ven trying. 508 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:18,658 Yours, and nobody else is, unity. 509 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,329 P. S, / don't know where those coal miners were 510 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,538 before they were assimilated 511 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,165 you might want to get checked. 512 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,267 Man: 513 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,377 Hey. 514 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,671 Dad. 515 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,509 I, um... Jerry and I 516 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,179 were looking for our weed whacker 517 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,723 and found your subterranean lair 518 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,309 and your alien prisoner, 519 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,269 and he got away. 520 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,729 And I know I sound like mom, 521 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,623 but I can't sacrifice this whole family's safety 522 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,483 just because I'm afraid you'll leave again, 523 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,401 so no more alien prisoners 524 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,196 and no more subterranean excavation 525 00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,697 without consulting us. 526 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,783 - Okay. - Okay? 527 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:03,036 "Okay"... like you're gonna quietly teleport somewhere 528 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,413 - and never come back? - No. It's your house. 529 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,625 Grandpa Rick, what happened with unity? 530 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,336 Who? Oh, unity. Yeah, well... 531 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,230 I mean, honestly, we're talking about an entity 532 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,607 that thrives on enslavement, you know? 533 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,716 It's not cool. Fun's fun, but who needs it? 534 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,218 I'll be in the garage. 535 00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,400 J” lay it, lay it down j” 536 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,318 j” let me see your hand j” 537 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,821 j” show me what you got j” 538 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,323 j” you're always talking j” 539 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,075 j” but you're not playing j” 540 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,702 j” it doesn't match your face j” 541 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,249 j” get them away, away from this place j” 542 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,502 j” can you take me now? J” 543 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,421 j” I, iwantitj” 544 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,005 j” I want it real j” 545 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,425 j” are you afraid of me now? J” 546 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,010 j”j” 547 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,763 J” are you afraid of me now? J” 548 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,223 j” do you feel it? J” 549 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,267 j” do you feel it? J” 550 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:10,854 j” do you feel that I can see your soul? J” 551 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,188 j” do you feel it? J” 552 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,441 j” do you feel it? J” 553 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,776 j” do you feel the pain in your heart? J” 554 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,111 j” I, iwantitj” 555 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,196 j” I want it real j” 556 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,740 j” run away with me now j” 557 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,868 j” I, iwantitj” 558 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,537 j” I want it real j” 559 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,539 j” run away with me now j” 560 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,000 j”ah, ah j” 561 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,379 j”j” 562 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,556 J” don't leave me j” 563 00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,269 j” never leave me out j” 564 00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,563 j” don't leave me j” 565 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:59,277 j” never leave me out j” 566 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,826 Rick: Unity! Unity! 567 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,286 Unity! 568 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,163 How can I assist you? 569 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,457 I want to talk to unity, beta seven. 570 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,625 I know it's in there. 571 00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:15,251 You're classified as a hostile entity, 572 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,961 and unity doesn't want to talk to you. 573 00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:17,962 I know your game, beta seven. 574 00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,214 I've met a billion of you, 575 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,508 you little on—deck, in-the-wings shoulder to cry on! 576 00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,677 You are classified as a hostile entity. 577 00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,238 Oh, you're just loving this, mother—- 578 00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,264 this isn't gonna shake out like you think, pal. 579 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,658 Unity's not into other hive minds. 580 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,184 It's gonna suck you in and use you up, 581 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,477 and a month from now, 582 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,621 I'm gonna be making out with all of you 583 00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:34,521 in a bunch of red wigs! 584 00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:36,606 Unity! Unity! 585 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,317 Unity, I know you can hear me. Get out here. 586 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,669 Beta seven: Weapons systems engaged. 587 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,403 Oh, in your dreams you have weapon systems. 588 00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,822 Ugh, Rick, you said we were going to a movie. 589 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,823 We are, morty. 590 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,575 All right, beta shit seven, 591 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,619 you just got saved by the bell, bitch! 592 00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:52,622 Man: Did you get any of that? 593 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,082 Man: It's-a good show-a.