1 00:00:01,294 --> 00:00:03,671 Morty: I gotta tell you, Rick. It's pretty great... 2 00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,858 To be in this spaceship, just the two of us, you know? 3 00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,562 Just cruising around, Rick and morty style. 4 00:00:07,592 --> 00:00:09,010 I agree, morty. 5 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,511 It's nice to get back to the basics 6 00:00:10,595 --> 00:00:12,346 after a pretty intense, mixed-bag of a year. 7 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,472 - — Ohh! - Relax. 8 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,141 That's what windshields are for. 9 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,104 I didn't know that there were bugs out in space. 10 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,519 Well, w-what did you think, morty? 11 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:20,271 Life just developed on earth by itself? 12 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,940 Here, let me take care of this. 13 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:26,068 Geez, Rick, that's disgusting. I don't wanna look at that. 14 00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:27,361 Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid. 15 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,322 L-Let me find a place to stop. 16 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,370 Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet, 17 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,664 or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us? 18 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:40,350 The general store ought to have what you need. 19 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,792 Thanks. 20 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,188 Of course, you'll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown. 21 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,047 Yeah, sure thing. Wait a minute. What? Why? 22 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,132 Sundown is when the festival begins. 23 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,258 The festival? 24 00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:51,469 Ooh, well, for millennia, 25 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,388 our society has been free of crime and war, 26 00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:56,533 - living in perfect peace. - Oh, I know what this is! 27 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,309 You've been able to sustain world peace 28 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,495 because you have one night a year where you all run around 29 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,939 robbing and murdering each other without consequence. 30 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,273 - That's right. — what?! 31 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:06,210 It's like “the purge," morty. That movie “the purge"? 32 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,985 Oh, have you been here before? 33 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,047 No, no, but I've been to a few planets with the same gimmick. 34 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,573 You know, sometimes it's called the cleansing or the red time. 35 00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:15,117 There was this one world that called it just murder night. 36 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,702 I-It's a purge planet. 37 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,764 They're peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge. 38 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:21,624 - T-That's horrible! - Yeah. 39 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,334 You want to check it out? 40 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,419 N“ 41 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,993 So, what do you do during the festival? 42 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:59,245 You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff? 43 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,372 Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff. 44 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,874 Oh, I bet you do, old timer. 45 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,668 Gee... Rick, come on. The sun is setting. 46 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,211 W-We got to get out of here. 47 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,356 All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid? 48 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,716 It's on the house. Oh, and, uh, 49 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,218 why -— why don't you have some candy bars, as well? 50 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,886 Oh, no way. That's really nice of you. 51 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,723 I'm a nice guy... for now. 52 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,433 Ohh, I don't doubt it. 53 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,018 - Rick! - Yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,811 Hey, have a good festival, old timer. 55 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,438 I intend to. 56 00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:29,650 Rick, unlock it! 57 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:30,818 Just a second, morty. 58 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,611 Oh, look at that sunset. 59 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:34,238 Stop screwing around. 60 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,659 There we go. Much better. Now we can see. 61 00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:39,743 Great. 62 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,495 Hey, you know what, morty? 63 00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,739 Why don't we christen our squeaky—clean windshield here 64 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,517 by watching a little of this purge through it? 65 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,376 What?! No! What is your problem?! 66 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,211 Morty, grow up. If you don't want to watch, 67 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,855 don't watch, but, you know, it's my car. 68 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,840 Also, if you tell your mom about this, 69 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:54,550 - I'll purge you. - You're the worst. 70 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,677 This planet is the worst. How can you be into this? 71 00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:58,512 You know, people are gonna kill each other. 72 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,574 So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that 73 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,641 I-if -— if there's a video online 74 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,869 with someone getting decapitated, 75 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,436 - you don't click on it? - No! 76 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,605 Why... why would I do that? You do that? 77 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,231 Idont because it would bore me. 78 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:10,834 I see shit like that for breakfast, morty. 79 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,526 But if you don't do it, I say it's because 80 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,290 you're afraid of your own primal instincts. 81 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,006 So you stuff them down and -... 82 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,490 Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It's starting. 83 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,009 - Oh-ho-ho! Here we go. - I'm not watching. 84 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,713 Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal's in the mail. 85 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,596 - I'm gonna get a closer look. - Oh, okay, sure. 86 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,014 And then someone's gonna throw a rock 87 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,706 and hit the car and then we're gonna crash 88 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,291 and we're gonna be stuck down there 89 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,685 and it's gonna be what we deserve. 90 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,586 Yawn. 91 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,338 Whoa! 92 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,840 Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other. 93 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,550 Oh, my god! 94 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,637 Oh shit! 95 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,723 That was... Okay, yeah. T-That was gross. 96 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,975 Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach 97 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,852 on this one, morty. Ugh. 98 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:49,563 My appetite for purge—spectating got f-illed pretty quick. 99 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,357 Oh, god. 100 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,654 Get away from me! 101 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,239 No! No! Help! 102 00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,448 Somebody help me! Aah! 103 00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,283 All right, morty. L-Let's get out of here. 104 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,487 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W-We have to go down there. 105 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:04,829 What? Why? 106 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,997 That poor girl. W-We have to save her. 107 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,999 Uh, morty, in space, we have something we call 108 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,460 the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid. 109 00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,546 We watched them kill each other. We're leaving. 110 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,382 Help me save that girl, or I'm telling mom you brought me here. 111 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,759 You little turd. 112 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,636 Please! Leave me alone! 113 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,680 Leave you alone? During a purge? 114 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,348 I don't think so, baby. 115 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,270 It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you. 116 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,564 My name is morty. This is my grandpa. 117 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,024 - We're tourists. - Not anymore. 118 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,484 - Aah! - Aah! 119 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,027 Oh, my god. This is fucking awesome! 120 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,863 Morty, this is really cool. 121 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,699 Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people? 122 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,409 It's fun. We're totally justified... 123 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,327 Because we're saving a little girl. 124 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:47,830 I mean, w-w-we're both free and clear to murder these people. 125 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,623 - Are you okay? - Yes. 126 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,167 I have to find somewhere to hide. 127 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,710 Well, you can hide with us. Rick? 128 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,545 - Yeah? - Do you think we could take... 129 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,948 - W-What's your name? - Arthrisha. 130 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:57,798 Could we take arthrisha up in the ship 131 00:04:57,882 --> 00:04:59,633 and, you know, just wait out the purge? 132 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:00,885 Oh, morty, how can I refuse 133 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,262 after all you've done to blackmail me? 134 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,977 Your vehicle... Is it from the gods? 135 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,604 - No. - Yes. 136 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:15,858 So, uh, you know, when the purge started, 137 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,735 did people get into it right away, 138 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,945 or were they like, "wait, what? 139 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,406 This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?" 140 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:25,409 Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it. 141 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,911 Yeah, I bet. I bet. 142 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,787 Yeah, it's kind of like cellphones, you know? 143 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,206 At first, everyone was like, 144 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,600 "look at those douchebags purging." 145 00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:32,904 And then the next thing you know, 146 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,627 they're like, "it's just so convenient." 147 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,212 Geez, you working on your tight five 148 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,796 for the comedy store, morty? 149 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,927 Whatcha doing? 150 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,429 Watching some TV, playing on your phone? 151 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,390 - Is that a real question? - Just making conversation. 152 00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:50,976 Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? 153 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,854 My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic, 154 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,898 or bark "yes" like a trained animal. 155 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:57,483 It's not a conversation. 156 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,026 You're holding me verbally hostage. 157 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,403 Okay, ass-face. I'll go in the kitchen. 158 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,696 - Hey, dad. - Yeah? 159 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,406 Whatcha doing? Going into the kitchen? 160 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,658 Okay. 161 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,368 - Yeah, you like that? - Screw you. 162 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:11,580 So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge? 163 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:13,832 I-I don't want to answer any more purge questions. 164 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,709 All right, hey, hey, that's cool. 165 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,503 I can roll with that. 166 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,553 - My Nana! - Huh? 167 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,680 My Nana! We have to save her! 168 00:06:29,682 --> 00:06:31,850 You just now remembered your Nana exists. 169 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,852 H was traumatized. 170 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,938 Haven't you been through like 15 purges? 171 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,147 I mean, some as a child? 172 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,983 Will somebody just help me get her? 173 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,943 Fine, whatever. Morty, stay. 174 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:53,038 Oh, god. Oh, crap. Oh, crap! 175 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,915 - Get out! Get out! - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! 176 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:57,167 Get the fuck out of the flying machine! 177 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,877 Oh, my god! O-Okay! Okay! 178 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,462 Back up, asshole. 179 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,964 - Back up. — ohh. 180 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,466 - Back the fuck up! - Aah! 181 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,469 For what it's worth, I'm sorry, 182 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,573 but that's not really worth anything tonight, is it? 183 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:12,474 Y-You can't leave us here. You're killing us! 184 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,935 You hear me? Come back. 185 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:18,564 Y-You got to come back. Change your mind. 186 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,065 Oh, geez. 187 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:23,027 Morty! Aah! Fucking amish bitch shot me! 188 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,820 She tried to purge me, morty. 189 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,989 You let your wiener do the walking, and now I'm dead. 190 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,491 - Rick, she took the car! - You fucking kidding me, morty?! 191 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,868 She took my car and the gun. 192 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,661 We're like the rest of these assholes now. 193 00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:34,079 W-W-We're gonna get purged, morty. 194 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,539 Help me up. 195 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,017 Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick. 196 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,667 Why don't we just use your portal gun? 197 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:39,918 It's in the car, dip-ass. 198 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,503 Oh, god, it hurts. 199 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,315 She got me right in the goddamn liver, morty. 200 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:45,317 It's the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, morty, 201 00:07:45,341 --> 00:07:47,319 and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it. 202 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:48,802 I was just trying to do right. 203 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,206 Yeah, well, that's not really the theme of tonight's party. 204 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:52,765 Heads up. Rapists. 205 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,248 Well, don't just stand there, morty. 206 00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:55,350 - Purge 'em. - Me? 207 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,227 No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them? 208 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,146 Pick up a stick or something and kill them. 209 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,956 Um, w-we come in peace. 210 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,400 Oh, my god. 211 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:06,945 There's more where that came from! 212 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,381 You want to get purged, you bring it! 213 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,283 Drop drop your shit! Drop it all. 214 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,035 Morty, go get their shit. Hurry up. 215 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,703 I only had one of those things I threw. 216 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:16,455 I'm holding a box of tic tacs right now. 217 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:20,876 - Want some crackers? - No, thank you. 218 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,544 Are you ready to be nice to me? 219 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,421 In exchange for crackers? 220 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,174 - What happened to you? - Dad, get a job. 221 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,843 You're trying to create drama because you're bored. 222 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,970 Oh. 223 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,473 It's the space phone grandpa gave us. 224 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,392 - Hello? - Hey, summer, it's grandpa. 225 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,268 I need you to do me a favor. 226 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,792 - I can barely hear you. - Who is it? 227 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,533 Morty and I are on a planet that's purging. 228 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,857 - I need you to take down... - A plan that's what? 229 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,901 We're on a planet that's purging, summer. Purging. 230 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,529 We lost our car and my gun, and we're in a purge. 231 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,215 - Ooh, is it taddi Mason? - Like the movie "the purge"? 232 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,990 Yes, I-I need you to take —- 233 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,368 - that movie sucked. - Oh, my god. Hold on. 234 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,120 It's not taddi Mason? 235 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,871 Dad, who the fuck is taddi Mason? 236 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,039 - My friend. — aah! 237 00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:00,642 Are you okay? I'm putting you on speaker. 238 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,292 - — Taddi? - Yes, Jerry, it's taddi, 239 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,086 a person no one's ever heard of until now, 240 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,754 calling you on a space phone. 241 00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,638 Jerry: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. 242 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,968 Aah! 243 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,555 Reload, fast. 244 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,478 Summer, w-we need you to take down this number. 245 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,892 - Quit screwing around. - Morty? Are you all right? 246 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,061 - No! - Why are you with taddi Mason? 247 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:23,439 Holy shit dad! Shut the fuck up! 248 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,984 Okay. I guess I'm just this entire family's toilet paper. 249 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,129 Are you writing this down? Will you please write this down? 250 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:32,239 - Summer: Yes, yes. - 7-7-1-9-8... 251 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:36,243 3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5. 252 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,120 Aah! 253 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,792 You son of a bitch! 254 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,520 Morty, I don't want to be the "a little help" guy, 255 00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:48,172 but a little help? 256 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,090 - Aah! - Okay, I have a pen. Go. 257 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:53,844 7-7-1-9-8-3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5. 258 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,137 A spoon, morty? 259 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,346 - A spoon?! - I'm sorry. 260 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,098 There's a pile of silverware next to you, 261 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,410 and you throw me the one thing that can never kill anything? 262 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,019 All right, okay! 263 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,164 Summer, on the shelf above my workbench in the garage, 264 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,898 there's a red box with a keypad on it. 265 00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,733 You're gonna take that box outside, 266 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,170 and you're gonna type the number I just gave you into the keypad. 267 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,653 - Got it? - Got it. 268 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,548 Is it just part of growing up to hate your dad? 269 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,492 I'm ignoring you. 270 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,470 Morty, if I can get to the top of that lighthouse, 271 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:20,597 I can send the beacon, and your sister can launch our package. 272 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,289 Just remember, if there's people in there 273 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,184 and they try to purge us, we got to purge them first. 274 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:26,227 We're not purging anyone, Rick, all right? W-Will you stop it? 275 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,961 Morty, if we're gonna survive tonight, 276 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,506 you're gonna need to harness your repressed rage. 277 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,589 I don't have any! 278 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,468 Spoken like a person with repressed rage. 279 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,097 I take no part in the festival. 280 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,600 If you desire to kill me, I only ask you do it quickly. 281 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,060 No such agenda, chief. 282 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,788 We're not too keen on the purge, either, sir. 283 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,998 We were just hoping to get on the roof of your lighthouse 284 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,857 so we can send a beacon to my sister on earth. 285 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,651 - It's a different planet. - By the way, 286 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:53,487 life on other planets exists. Don't let it distract you. 287 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,965 I'll let you use my lighthouse for shelter and beacon—sending 288 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,634 on the condition that you listen to my tale. 289 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,535 - Okay. - Deal. 290 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,471 All right, I'm gonna go to the roof and set things up. 291 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,497 - Morty, you listen to his tale. - Okay. 292 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,632 "Fade in. Exterior. Unnamed city. Day. 293 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,717 The hustle and bustle is a symphony of progress. 294 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,428 We pan past windows, each of which contain a different story, 295 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,557 to find Jacey lakims, 28 —- hot, but doesn't know it. 296 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,076 Jacey stops when her high heel gets caught 297 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,726 in the grating of a sewer. 298 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,312 Suddenly, a man steps into frame and points a gun at her. 299 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,481 This is not her day. 300 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:30,983 Fade to black. 301 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,986 Title... 'Three weeks earlier.'" 302 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:39,116 You really don't want to talk to me about this. 303 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,577 Dad, grandpa and morty are in danger. 304 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,203 You're unemployed, and you're bored. 305 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,998 - They're a higher priority. - Stop saying I'm unemployed! 306 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:49,334 Okay, 7-7-19-.8... 364... 2-1-1 307 00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,254 - 2... aah! - Good lord! Now what? 308 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,467 Look, I'm your father, and I love you is all I'm saying. 309 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,761 - I'll leave it at that. - Fine, dad! 310 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,099 Oh, he might have said to take it outside. 311 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,475 Rick: Come on, summer. 312 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,769 How hard is it to type some numbers into a box? 313 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,229 Target locked. 314 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,772 Oh, thank god. 315 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,317 Well, I did my job. Summer did herjob. 316 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,904 Now all morty has to do is finish listening to that tale. 317 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,364 Blane: Maybe I don't need a new friend. 318 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:21,909 Jacey: Maybe you're the only friend I need. 319 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,077 Blane: Need, or want? 320 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,163 Jacey: I've never been much for wanting. 321 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,790 Blane: Spoken like someone with needs. 322 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,042 - Oh, geez. - Hmm? 323 00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:32,044 Uh, sorry. K-Keep going. 324 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,962 "Jacey reaches out and touches his face. 325 00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,406 It's clear he needs what she wants. 326 00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:37,174 She's a woman. He's a man. 327 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,843 The city burns in the background as he takes her in his arms. 328 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,094 Fade out. 329 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,013 Title... 'The end'... 330 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,096 Question Mark." 331 00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:45,432 - Wow. - Yeah? 332 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,268 It's... g-good job. Good job. 333 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,853 - You liked it? - Of course I did. 334 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,730 You didn't laugh at the scene in the bar. 335 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,775 I... thought it was funny, but I wanted to hear the rest. 336 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,610 Do you have any thoughts? Notes? 337 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,737 No. I-I just enjoyed it. 338 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,989 That's my note, you know? Please write more. 339 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,200 - Seems a little insincere. - What? No. 340 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,868 You don't have to mollycoddle me. 341 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,013 I want to improve my writing. Tell me your real thoughts. 342 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,957 All right. Well, um, I'm not a huge fan, personally, 343 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,920 of the whole "three weeks earlier" teaser thing. 344 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,460 I feel like, you know, 345 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,938 we should start our stories where they begin 346 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,522 not start them where they get interest—- 347 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,090 - get out. - Um, what? 348 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,883 No, I'm sick of this. You bang on my door, 349 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,945 you beg me to help you, I share something personal with you, 350 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,303 and you take a giant shit on it. 351 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:25,114 Hey, man, we asked if we could put up a beacon -... 352 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,616 Well, you can't. I want you out of here. 353 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,117 You're a petty person, and you're insecure, 354 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,036 and you're taking it out on me. That's a good script. 355 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,228 What the hell?! 356 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,471 I don't care. I want you out. 357 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,022 - What? - Take that thing down. 358 00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,983 Your grandson is a shitty person. Leave now. 359 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,546 - Morty! - Rick, I didn't do anything. 360 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,236 I sat through his entire screenplay... 361 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,487 You "sat through it"? 362 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,447 Yes! Did you want me to weep with joy? 363 00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:45,242 - It's terrible! - Whoa morty! We're guests here. 364 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,036 I tried to be a good guest! He dragged it out of me! 365 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,390 - I'm taking down this beacon. - No, stop! That's not fair! 366 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,124 Just because you hate your own writing 367 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,709 doesn't make me a bad person! 368 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:54,793 Aah! 369 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,172 You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier 370 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,298 when you were alive? 371 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:03,176 Rick: Whoa, morty. You just purged. 372 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,053 Beacon arriving. 373 00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:06,888 Okay, time to go. 374 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,974 Well, terrific. 375 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,935 Dad, what's going on? What's the deal here? 376 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,187 I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter. 377 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,939 You're growing up so fast. 378 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,001 - You used to be my little girl. - Yeah. 379 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,502 Remember when we used to go to the playground, 380 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,069 and I'd push you on the swings? 381 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,488 Oh, you could push me higher than all the other kids. 382 00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:25,365 You were so small and cute. 383 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,510 I thought you were gonna fly right off into the street. 384 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,453 I used to pee my pants. 385 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,747 I know, and now look at you! 386 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,915 You have a job. You're making really good money. 387 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,208 You're not paying any rent, 388 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,210 so you have plenty of disposable income. 389 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,628 Oh, god, dad. Please, don't. 390 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,380 I just need a few hundred dollars 391 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:42,442 to get through the month. I have some interviews coming up. 392 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,193 Something's gonna come through. I can feel it. 393 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,385 I'm going inside. 394 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,639 I guess this is what rock bottom feels like, Jerry. 395 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,224 Ow! 396 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,226 It's okay, morty. It's the purge, you know? 397 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,896 Pushing old lighthouse keepers down the stairs is totally cool. 398 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,398 It's not cool, Rick. I-I'm not like these people. 399 00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:00,358 I can't run around chopping people's heads off 400 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,778 one day a year and then sleep well the rest of the time. 401 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,061 Well, you better start getting used to it, little bitch, 402 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,407 because we got some fucking company. 403 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,117 Hey, there he is. 404 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:10,577 Here I am. 405 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,379 Morty. 406 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,298 Time to purge. 407 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,600 J“ it feels good j“ 408 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,227 j” yeah j“ 409 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,895 j” it feels good j” 410 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,897 j” I feel it all in my soul j” 411 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,690 j” it feels good j” 412 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,692 geez. Wow, morty. Now you're getting into it. 413 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,569 Never expected that out of you. 414 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,863 All right, uh, let's go find my ship. 415 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,579 Hey, hey, morty, morty. There it is down there... my ship. 416 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:55,872 It looks to me like the... 417 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,082 Morty? 418 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,708 - Suck my dick! - J” it feels good j” 419 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,085 eat this! 420 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,354 Ooh, boy, you're really, uh... 421 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,647 - Ha-ha! Ha! - J” it feels good j” 422 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,589 you're really going for it over there, huh? 423 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,484 - I, uh... - I think, uh... 424 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,093 I think those people were just hiding. 425 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,719 I don't give a shit! 426 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,572 Okay, morty, now you're just shooting corpses. 427 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,306 - How do you like this? - Okay, buddy. 428 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,016 All right. That's good. Good job. 429 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,894 Time to go home. 430 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,261 Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me! 431 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,486 I-I never intended to harm you, I swear. 432 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,738 I am trying to end the festival. 433 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,324 - W-W—what do you mean? - I was going to use your ship 434 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,369 to destroy the rich assholes that run our society 435 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,497 and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival. 436 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,208 Fuck that, Rick! We gotta kill her! Kill her! Kill her! 437 00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:42,460 Whoa! Geez, morty, purge it down a little. 438 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,087 "Purge! Don't purge!" 439 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,691 You're sending me mixed messages, Rick. 440 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,275 Morty... You're acting like 441 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,568 a... freaking lunatic. 442 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,218 - Calm down. - Screw you, Rick! 443 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,596 I'll purge you, too, you old, rickety piece of crap! 444 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,514 This has been a long time coming! 445 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,183 I'm gonna rip your fucking guts out 446 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,586 and smear them all over your face! 447 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:58,768 I ain't taking no sh... 448 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,687 - Aah! - Okay, s-sorry about that. 449 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,689 Now, where are these rich people? 450 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,281 To another successful year of the festival, 451 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,076 pitting poor people against each other for thousands of years. 452 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,080 Wait, w—where is that music coming from? 453 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,458 - What is the meaning of this? - J” it feels good j” 454 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,210 here's the deal. I'm not here to judge. 455 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,653 I'm just a guy from another planet. 456 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,311 But this girl is one of your poor people, 457 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:27,857 and I guess you guys felt like it was okay 458 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,549 to subject her to inhuman conditions 459 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,801 because there was no chance of it ever hurting you. 460 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,678 It's sort of the socio-political equivalent 461 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,097 of, say, a suit of power armor around you. 462 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,142 But now things are evened out, so, arthrisha? 463 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,563 Happy festival cock suckers! 464 00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:46,107 Suck my cock! Chew my balls! 465 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,400 Suck my huge dick! 466 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,586 - Geez. - J” it feels good j” 467 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,153 you want to get in on this, Rick? 468 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,530 No, I really —- honestly, i-I've had my fill. 469 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,990 It's gratuitous at this point. 470 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,426 You sure you don't want to join in? 471 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,178 - This is really amazing. - J” it feels good j” 472 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,704 yeah, but... Ah, all right. Fuck it. 473 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:02,540 J” it feels good j” 474 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,251 yeah, bitch, what's up? 475 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:07,963 J” it feels good j” 476 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,423 j” it feels good j” 477 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,716 j” yeah j” 478 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,301 j” it feels good j” 479 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,178 whoa! 480 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,264 J” ohh, it feels good j” 481 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,182 okay, now it's time we do a little dancing 482 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,643 - to —- to Tony! Toni! Toné! - J” it feels good, yeah j” 483 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,561 look at my fucking feet, motherfucker! 484 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,730 Whoo! Aw, yeah! J” it feels good j” 485 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,440 arthrisha, what do you got? 486 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:28,918 Check this move out. J” oh, it feels good j” 487 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,611 Oh, ho! 488 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:34,447 I don't know what song that is, but I fucking love it! 489 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,865 "Feels good." 490 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,760 - It's a fucking hit song. - J” it feels good j” 491 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,703 topped the charts, I think. Ho, ho! 492 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,122 J” oh, it feels good j” 493 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,166 Hey, thanks for helping me, Rick. 494 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,710 You're a pretty great guy. 495 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,753 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you for shooting my liver. 496 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,338 I'll see you around. 497 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,632 Oh, man. What —- what happened? 498 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,175 Don't worry about it, morty. 499 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,653 Listen, if you wanted to try to get a piece, 500 00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,305 you better hurry up. Now's your last chance. 501 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,307 Hey, hey, arthrisha, um, maybe I could -... 502 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,309 Uh, I have a boyfriend. 503 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,786 - Okay. - I'm not trying to be rude. 504 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,288 I just —- I don't want to lead you on. 505 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,147 I-I—I understand. 506 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,691 I mean, thank you so much for helping end the festival, 507 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,569 but I have a boyfriend, and, uh, he'sjust —- 508 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,279 okay, okay, you can stop saying it. 509 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:15,562 I took it okay the first time, 510 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,198 and now you're just repeating stuff. 511 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,034 - Oh, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 512 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:22,370 Oh, you're so sweet, I just —- oh, but I can't. 513 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,913 Yeah, you're still doing it. 514 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,625 It won't be easy creating a new society from the ground up. 515 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:31,046 Well, a helpful rule might be if you need something, you get it. 516 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,797 - Pretty simple, right? - I need food. 517 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,633 - Who's got food for that guy? - I do, but this is for me. 518 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:36,968 Can't you make some more? 519 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,512 Oh, sure. And while I'm making food for everyone, 520 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,514 who takes care of my kids? 521 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:45,518 I'll take care of your kids, if I get some extra food for it. 522 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,020 Extra food? 523 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,856 Well, I'm not gonna do extra work if we all get the same. 524 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,524 All right, okay, fair is fair. 525 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,401 If you do extra work, you get extra food. 526 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,278 Oh. 527 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,613 Who's gonna keep track 528 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,032 of who gets how much food for how much work? 529 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,658 Hello. I can do that. 530 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,494 I'll keep track of everyone's food, 531 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,245 you know, in exchange for food. 532 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,747 That's not a real job! 533 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,832 Oh, and making food is? 534 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,251 You son of a bitch! 535 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,544 Eat this! 536 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,840 Guys, guys, guys, guys, whoa, whoa. 537 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,426 Cool it, now. Take it easy. 538 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,720 There's too much aggression here. 539 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,847 What if we designate a period of time 540 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:26,101 during which we can all get this hate, murder, 541 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:29,020 and rage out of our system... 542 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,563 I can't help but feel ashamed 543 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,232 about what I did back there, Rick. 544 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,543 I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff 545 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,629 - I need to deal with. - Don't worry about it, morty. 546 00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,363 Remember those candy bars earlier... 547 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,633 - That we got in the first act? - Yeah, what about them? 548 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,826 Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol 549 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,744 that amplifies all your violent tendencies. 550 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,996 Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh? 551 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,248 That's a relief. 552 00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:49,457 Yep. Don't even sweat. 553 00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,810 You're still the same old morty. 554 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,753 Your character's totally protected. 555 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:56,840 J” it feels good j” 556 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,758 j”j” 557 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,623 Man: Ano' fhereis the approach. 558 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,876 Jerry, what is "taddi Mason llc," 559 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:35,044 and why is our phone bill $700? 560 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,713 - — Uh... - Hey, are you bored... 561 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,214 - — Uh... - Lonely, 562 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,716 just looking for a friend? 563 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,301 Call me, taddi Mason. 564 00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:42,886 It's only $7.9.9 a minute to talk. 565 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,637 - — Uh... - Sign up today, 566 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,598 and ni e ven call you on a regular basis... 567 00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:48,117 - — Uh... - For just $ 7.9.9 a minute. 568 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,393 That's a steal because I'm a great pal. 569 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,896 We could talk about sports or barbecue. 570 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,900 Jerry, get a job. 571 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,401 Oh, my god! 572 00:21:58,485 --> 00:21:59,903 Did you get any of that? 573 00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,946 It's-a good-a show!