1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:02,586 Ohh! 2 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,172 Summer, next time we're hiding in a colorkian echo nest, 3 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,299 can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off? 4 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,134 It's called "carpe diem," morty. 5 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:10,459 - Look it up. - You look it up! 6 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,197 Y-Y-You don't even... you don't even know what it means! 7 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,573 That's because losers look stuff up 8 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,266 while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems. 9 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,551 Listen to your sister, morty. 10 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,727 To live is to risk it all. 11 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,163 Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk 12 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,605 of randomly assembled molecules 13 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,440 drifting wherever the universe blows you. 14 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,651 Oh, I'm sorry. Jerry, I didn't see you there. 15 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,069 H-How much of that did you hear? 16 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,446 All of it. You were looking right at me. 17 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,241 I just wanted to say goodbye to the kids. 18 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,468 Cool. Just stay in the driveway. 19 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,428 The killbots are live, and I took you off the white list. 20 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,663 W-We'll see you every other weekend, though, right? 21 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:38,914 Absolutely, morty. 22 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,332 A-And your mom's lawyer says 23 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,000 if I can get enough in the settlement, 24 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,419 he can help me sue for full custody. 25 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,754 Th-that'll be nice. 26 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,173 - Uh, summer, dad's leaving. - Bye, dad. 27 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,883 Rick, didn't you say you needed my help 28 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,094 on an adventure immediately somewhere else... 29 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,819 I don't care... Even if it might kill us? 30 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,806 I did not, but if you're really that alienated, 31 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,600 I'm as willing to exploit it as the next guy, church, army, 32 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,686 or olympic gymnastics trainer. 33 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,937 I'm ready when you are. 34 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,273 Bitch, I was ready yest... 35 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,108 Bye, sweetie. 36 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,526 Well, I-I better... 37 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,320 Sure. Sounds important. 38 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,282 If you're looking for our kids, 39 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,784 your father did a-a portal, uh... 40 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,619 Okay. 41 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:30,549 Wind: Loser. 42 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,301 What? 43 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,677 Hello? 44 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,262 Morty, shoot the mohawk guy! 45 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,222 - They all have mohawks! - High fade, 46 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,308 chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top. 47 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,433 Shoot him! 48 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,773 Ah! 49 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,066 Light them up. 50 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,567 Ahh! 51 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,444 Fuck! Get in the game, morty! 52 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,196 Give me your flask! 53 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,575 Rick: Holy shit! Summer for the win! 54 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,701 Summer: I fucking love 55 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,079 post-apocalyptic versions of earth! 56 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,958 Here we go! 57 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,252 Isotope 322. 58 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:50,563 This stuff's so powerful, morty, 59 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,799 it makes isotope 465 look like isotope 317. 60 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,384 Uh-huh, yeah. Is it powerful enough 61 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,302 to keep those guys from murdering us? 62 00:02:58,470 --> 00:02:59,930 - Summer! - Hold on. 63 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,056 I want to try something. 64 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,476 Rick, can we not leave without my sister? 65 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,604 Ugh. You have infinite sisters, morty. 66 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,415 I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day 67 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,440 looking for another one. 68 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,817 "Sum-sum," let's go! 69 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,986 Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting! 70 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,906 Your blood will be my lotion. 71 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,538 Whoa. That was cool. 72 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,457 Kill me, please. 73 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,960 Okay, but not because you told me to. 74 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,713 - Summer! - Okay. Getting darker. 75 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,342 Jesus Christ. Summer! 76 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,467 Aw, come on. 77 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:42,907 Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes 78 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,931 where I can see them. 79 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,642 I am hemorrhage. 80 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:49,271 You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger. 81 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:53,358 We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together. 82 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,963 Wh-wh-what in the hell are you saying? 83 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,349 They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them. 84 00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,031 - They're basically pussies. - What is your deal lately? 85 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,366 All right, let's get sloppy. 86 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,510 Oh, whoa. 87 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,744 Uh, uh, what's, uh... 88 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,629 What's that little bauble you got back there? 89 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:06,788 Th-th-that's interesting. 90 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,331 That is our glowing rock. 91 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,792 We carry it with us for desecration, 92 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,586 to remind us there are no gods. 93 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,965 Kids, weird pitch. Let's have this be our new life. 94 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,968 Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers! 95 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,093 - Okay. - What? 96 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,392 Grandpa, some of the death stalkers 97 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,870 are going to what used to be Seattle 98 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,079 to hunt what used to be people. 99 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,855 - I'm going. - Sounds good. Stay hydrated. 100 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,958 Listen, Rick, summer's been acting pretty crazy lately. 101 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,443 You know, I mean, I-I think the divorce is affecting her. 102 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,795 And, you know, I don't think this is 103 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,297 a great place for her to be right now. 104 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,907 Oh, get off your high horse, professor ski lodge. 105 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,784 This world may be rough around the edges, 106 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,410 but it's got its charms. 107 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,870 War chef: Bicep or quadricep? 108 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,331 Uh bicep. 109 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,962 Seriously, Rick? 110 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,567 Is it really easier to eat human flesh 111 00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,050 than to just tell me why we're still here? 112 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,469 No. Okay, I'll level with you. 113 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,221 You see that green rock, morty? 114 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,573 It's about 20 pounds of the stuff 115 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,182 I was getting all hard for a flake of. 116 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,725 Isotope 322. 117 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,119 Well, having a 20-pound Boulder of it 118 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,343 is better than having a flake. 119 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,188 I can explain the math to you later, but... 120 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,582 Summer just ran off with strangers 121 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:15,941 that have "death" in their name, 122 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,901 and the rest of their name was "stalkers." 123 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,295 Huh, could be therapeutic for her. 124 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,613 She has been acting pretty crazy lately, morty. 125 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,382 I mean, her parents are going through a divorce... 126 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,826 God damn it, Rick, that's what I... fine. 127 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,203 Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her, 128 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,608 and let's get the "f" out of 'h" 129 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,783 no, no, no. Morty, there's too much heat on the bogey. 130 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,333 I need you to distract the camp. 131 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,960 "Distract"? They eat each other. 132 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,729 What... what do you want me to do to get their attention, 133 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:37,754 put on a puppet show? 134 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,381 Right idea, wrong genre, morty. 135 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,675 The equivalent here would be... 136 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,593 Hey, you guys ever use that thunderdome, 137 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,303 or do you just put it up for decoration? 138 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,681 Uh, you mean the blood dome? 139 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,766 Save it for the semantics dome, eb. White. 140 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,059 Ohh, burn! 141 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,686 The important question is, 142 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:56,147 who wants to take a poke at my man spine eater here? 143 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,207 I guess I'll see your asses in that dome! 144 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,402 Rick, what the hell, man? 145 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,712 Wh-what are you, out of your mind? 146 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,280 Morty, relax. You're gonna be a ringer. 147 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,405 Come here. 148 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,326 This device extracts and redistributes muscle memory. 149 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,121 I'm giving your body a 10-year course in wasteland combat 150 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,290 - one limb at a time. - Ow! 151 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,735 I'm working with a mixed bag here, 152 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,127 so you may not have perfect coordination, morty... ugh! 153 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,837 - Hey! - I-I didn't do that! 154 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,006 Okay, this is exciting. 155 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,300 We're making some discoveries about muscle memory. 156 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,177 Ooh! Help! Help! 157 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,697 Oh, sweet, man! 158 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,516 And so it begins, my pretties! 159 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,686 Oh, god! Stop! Stop! This is horrible! 160 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,771 Just stick and move, morty! 161 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,398 Wear him out! 162 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,319 How come you guys dress like 163 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,820 you're in a theme-park stunt show, 164 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,323 but these guys wear khakis and hockey jerseys? 165 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:49,034 After the boom-boom, some adapted to the new truth, 166 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,786 and some chose to huddle near the boomy holes, 167 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,331 clinging to the lie of the before-fore times. 168 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,751 The raidy-rays rotted them away, leaving only their love 169 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,711 for the vert-vert-isements on billyboards. 170 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:00,629 Jesus Christ. 171 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,214 Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books? 172 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,841 You mean dictionaries? 173 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:14,517 I think I was a child before the boom-booms. 174 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,728 I think I looked like this. 175 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,021 Want to piss on him? 176 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,314 Get out of my head. 177 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,858 Eli: Ha ha! Whoo! 178 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,234 Unbelievable! 179 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,402 A new champ! 180 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,112 Okay, no more! 181 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,198 And he wants more! 182 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,783 No, |donfl 183 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,661 someone make this stop! 184 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,580 Mister, please get out of here, or you're gonna die! 185 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,540 I have nothing to do with this! 186 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:38,917 Mofly 187 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,729 why would you want this to happen? 188 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,047 All you had to do was go away! 189 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,092 Stop standing in the driveway talking about custody! 190 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,819 And either tell her you want to stay married 191 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,845 or get on with your life, but whatever you do, 192 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,889 stop being a baby and act like a man! 193 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,103 Thank you. 194 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,980 Morty, that was amazing! 195 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,232 This is my brother! 196 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,942 Not that family means anything! 197 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,568 This family does. 198 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,154 All right. Good job, champ. 199 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,157 Um, can I talk to you kids for a second over yonder? 200 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,702 Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking through to something here. 201 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,120 C-Can we not leave just yet? 202 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,496 - Leave? - I'm not leaving. 203 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,081 There is no "leave." 204 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,667 We are united, or we are enemies. 205 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,919 Oh, big guy, no. Nobody's leaving. 206 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,170 Don't be stupid. 207 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,630 We love being united. 208 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,507 We love the radiation, the trichinosis. 209 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,717 We're in it for life, 210 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,444 which I assume is around 20 years, average. 211 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,262 I just need a quick aside with my grandkids, 212 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,888 about 40 yards from anyone else. 213 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,682 Hey, the green rock is gone! 214 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,225 - Oh, no! - Uh, I know. 215 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,750 Why don't we all split up and look for it in groups of three? 216 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,062 Kids? 217 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,399 Ohh. 218 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,775 We'll be right back. 219 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,115 Grandpa, you're being stupid! 220 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,576 Just surrender, and our friends will give you mercy! 221 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,910 Kiss my ass, summer! 222 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,371 Your friends have no mercy! They're lame! 223 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,833 Death stalkers, bring me his flesh leather! 224 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,379 Sorry, but can we not kill him? 225 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,797 C-Can we just take him prisoner? 226 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,132 When did I lose control here? 227 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,550 Listen to me... both of you kids 228 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,986 need to get out of this environment 229 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,220 so we can properly deal with your parents' divorce! 230 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,347 Alternatively, I have a freaking portal gun, 231 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,516 and I can leave the two of you here forever! 232 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,411 Why does it have to be such a dramatic choice? 233 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,604 Can't we arrange a thing where we spend weekends here 234 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,397 or... or visit home to do laundry? 235 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,735 All right, you know what? Fuck it! 236 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:33,156 My body is chrome! 237 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,533 My blood is gasoline! 238 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,244 Nope. Regular blood. 239 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,704 - Dad? - Hi, sweetie. 240 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,849 - Where are the kids? - Oh, th-they aren't with you? 241 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,249 I thought they were with you. 242 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,085 Oh, y-you know what? Uh, I just remembered. 243 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,228 They're out doing something 244 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,652 completely ordinary and kid-related. 245 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,590 - Don't panic. - Not panicked at all. Just... 246 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,759 Oh, god, what's the divorce doing to the kids? 247 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,761 What's it doing to me? Did I make a mistake? 248 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,096 Not a mistake, no! 249 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,056 I mean, not that I have a horse in this race, 250 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,392 but this divorce decision, listen... mwah! 251 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,144 Good for you, good for the kids. 252 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,772 I mean, honestly, I think that they're flourishing. 253 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,017 I mean, you'll see, when... When... when you see them, 254 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,901 that... that they're totally flourishing. 255 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,197 Booyah! Fuck you, pal! 256 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,573 Who else wants some? 257 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,201 Who wants to be my pussy of a dad today? 258 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,869 Hey, what's... What's wrong, man? 259 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,704 You're not getting weak on me, are you? 260 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,666 What? 261 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:25,792 Wait a minute. 262 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,761 What's the matter, you piece of crap? 263 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,472 Haven't you ever watched your family burn to death before? 264 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,934 Now I'm gonna whip you. Huh! 265 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,230 It can't be. It can't be! 266 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,916 - I was just following orders! - Whoa, whoa! 267 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,276 - I was just following orders! - Aah! 268 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,721 I'll tell you where my boss lives! 269 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,529 He's in the castle! He's in the castle! 270 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,825 This isn't over, is it? 271 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,201 That means, no, it isn't over, 272 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,412 or you disapprove of the question? 273 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,707 Uh, m-make a fist if this isn't over. 274 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,292 This isn't over. 275 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,756 Hey, sorry my grandpa stole your god and ruined your car. 276 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,301 We don't apologize, and we have no god. 277 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,761 But this cracked driveshaft brings me great pain. 278 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:19,762 There is no deeper bond 279 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,599 than the one between a death stalker and his car. 280 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,601 What about the weird guys on leashes, then? 281 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,394 They're more like... interns. 282 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,438 Cool, cool. 283 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,108 Sorry. 284 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,526 It's okay. 285 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,404 Can I... see? 286 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,657 No one has seen my true face and lived. 287 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,492 Well, I'm not afraid to die, 288 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,328 and I don't care what you look like. 289 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,751 I just... 290 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,961 I didn't expect you to have a mustache. 291 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,963 - You hate it. - No. I like it. 292 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,715 I guess... How do I explain this? 293 00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,303 A metal bucket is, on a certain level, a kind of "mustache," 294 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,972 in that it's a specific facial accessory. 295 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,140 So, it's kind of like... 296 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,017 Do you guys have the phrase "hat on a hat"? 297 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,977 - I can shave it. - No. I like it. 298 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,063 And obviously what I like shouldn't matter. 299 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:10,855 It's you. 300 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,780 Yeah, yeah, I know, a-and nothing does matter. 301 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,400 Obviously, I know that. I'm not weak. 302 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,462 I'm just thinking, "well, why not get rid of this?" 303 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,297 You just kill everyone that sees it, and it's... 304 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,156 And it's hot under here, wh-which, by the way, 305 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,491 is why I shave the beard part. 306 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,776 So, right there, I'm making a decision based on vanity, 307 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,228 which is what I was trying to avoid 308 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,704 with the whole bucket over the head 309 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,123 because who am I and why am I grooming myself? 310 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,792 Why don't I just wear a tie, right? 311 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,436 I mean, it's like that guy you killed when I met you, 312 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,729 with the burnt dolls on his body. 313 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,005 I hated that guy, because, why... why are you doing that? 314 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,608 And how can you not see how fake that is? 315 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:38,943 And the whole time, I'm the same thing. 316 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,694 I'm just a fake mess, and there's no escaping it 317 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,345 - because... - Mmm. 318 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,561 Hey, I'm doing a coffee run... Never mind. 319 00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,209 I am summer. 320 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,317 Summer, state your deal. 321 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,945 My deal is that I am, like, totally fine. 322 00:12:59,070 --> 00:12:59,904 M o rty? 323 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,109 Aw, geez, I'm so down with my parents' divorce, dawg. 324 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,659 Like, don't even trip, like, in a healthy way. 325 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,369 All right. It's dinnertime. 326 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,787 Thanks, everybody, 327 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,456 for sitting down for a real dinner. 328 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,749 Together: No problem. 329 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,711 Its benefits are totally, like, less about the food 330 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,504 than the emotional nourishment. 331 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,381 Uh, okay, weirdo. 332 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,591 Yeah, dial it back, summer... 333 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,052 By 15% and increase dynamic movement by 3%. 334 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,054 - Am I right? - How's school, morty? 335 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,973 I like school and stuff, kind of. 336 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,410 And I'm getting better grades than when you and dad were... 337 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,853 Quote mode... "Staying together for the kids." 338 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:32,978 End quote mode. 339 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,273 "Quote mode." I like that. 340 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,066 You millennials. 341 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,877 Are you guys millennials, or are they like 40 now? 342 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,862 All I know is, totally, you look great. 343 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,448 Aw, geez, mom, you look all kind of great and stuff. 344 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,283 - It's crazy. - So happy. 345 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,618 So happy. Happy family, man. 346 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,412 We got this family in the bag. 347 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,248 Oh. 348 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,542 Oh, sweetie, d-don't. Listen. Don't... 349 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,252 I don't know why I'm crying. It's not... 350 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,963 Well, try... crying 15% less? 351 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,923 Mom, emotions are human. 352 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,593 You're not, like, a computer inside a mechanical doll. 353 00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:04,886 Yeah. Geez, mom. 354 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,763 Your feelings are not only forgivable, 355 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,306 they are the very meaning of life 356 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,516 that only pre-silicon, carbon-based entities 357 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,809 can ever grasp. 358 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,936 - I have to call Jerry. - You do?! 359 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,521 What the fuck is wrong with you two? 360 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,666 The point of automation is to reduce cost and labor. 361 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,567 Your feelings are coming from a... 362 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,110 Tell it to my bread in the morning. 363 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,779 You just became my backup toaster. 364 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:26,407 Aw, geez, my sister died in the spaghetti. 365 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,666 Graze my genitals again, taint washer, 366 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,269 and you'll be shipped to the wasteland. 367 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,920 And as for you, genital washer... 368 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,506 Aah! Oh! 369 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,510 Oh, god. Look, whoever you are, 370 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,363 you should know that killing me won't change a thing. 371 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,680 L-Look, man, I'm just along for the ride on this one. 372 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,392 You know, y-y-y-y-you're preaching to the choir here. 373 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,352 Please. Slavery was a family business. 374 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,104 I didn't ask to be born into it. 375 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,022 If anything, I'm the victim here. 376 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,818 Uh, "armathy," can I steal you for a second? 377 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,153 E-E-Excuse us, sir. 378 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,822 So, this is it, isn't it? 379 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,698 This is the guy? 380 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,201 So, does that mean you'll be going away? 381 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,036 Like, does it work like a ghost? 382 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,997 Like, is... is this your unfinished business? 383 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,708 Wh-what if we... didn't do it? 384 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,627 What if we just went back to the blood dome 385 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,171 and just kept taking our baggage out on unrelated people? 386 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,048 I mean, w-we could do that forever. 387 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,758 I mean, I-I know it's less healthy, 388 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,053 but w-w-we'd be together and... 389 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,681 I mean, I-I know what I'd vote for, 390 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,046 if you're feeling out the room. 391 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,352 You're right. 392 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,396 We both got to see our stuff through. 393 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,040 I got to deal with my parents' divorce, 394 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,818 and you got to, you know, do what you got to do. 395 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,194 I love you. 396 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,779 Aw, fuck. 397 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,201 - Rick? - Sorry, sorry. 398 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,995 I-I-I can wait for this to wrap up. 399 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,204 Don't let me distract you. 400 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,249 Yeah, well, too late. Just tell me what you want. 401 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,875 I want you and your sister to come home. 402 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,102 Oh, but don't... don't you have 403 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,606 infinite versions of me and my sister? 404 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,564 You don't have to kick me while I'm down, morty. 405 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,023 Look, there's no replacing either of you 406 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,549 without an amount of work that would 407 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,759 ultimately defeat the purpose. 408 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,306 Maybe the lesson we've learned is that, 409 00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,849 whether it's our parents' marriage, 410 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,351 a glowing green rock, or an awesome, giant arm, 411 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,021 sooner or later, we got to let it go. 412 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,272 I don't know if that applies 413 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,749 to the throats of murder victims, morty. 414 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,567 Shit! Wh-wh-wh-what do I... 415 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,235 Rick: Well, the longer you wait, morty, 416 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,005 the more it's gonna feel like committing a whole murder. 417 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,629 I think your arm just called it too early 418 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,324 because it wasn't the arm of a paramedic. 419 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,533 Here. 420 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,745 It's the least I can do. I-I-I-I owe you this much. 421 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,581 See, morty? Now we're both accountable. 422 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:53,596 The reason I wanted this is because it can do this. 423 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,181 This is a really special thing. 424 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,346 I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. 425 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,227 You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. 426 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,580 You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals 427 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,148 in the whole this version of the world. 428 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,361 Wait. Can you stay to show us more? 429 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,905 You don't have to ask me twice. Home is nuts right now. 430 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,341 My daughter's going through a divorce, 431 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,160 and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at all. 432 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,168 Ugh, god damn it. 433 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,128 Hi, there, summer! 434 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,005 How were the ruins today? 435 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,257 Oh, you know, Eli. 436 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,758 Same shit, different day. 437 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,468 Hey, summer! Guess what. 438 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,721 One man entered, one man comes out in nine months. 439 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,266 Oh. Congratulations, guys. 440 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,560 Uh, summer, one more thing. 441 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,688 We noticed that you've been putting scrap metal 442 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,147 in the blue bin. 443 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,400 I got it. 444 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,026 She's a piece of work. 445 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,195 They both are, right? 446 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,781 - I'm home. - Hey, babe. 447 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,384 - Ah, summer's home! - Hey, there she is! 448 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,411 You haven't moved since I left to scavenge this morning. 449 00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,912 Blood dome playoffs. 450 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,623 So, I can assume you haven't murdered a single person today. 451 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:03,499 Oh, I don't know. 452 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,668 I-I didn't Mark my murders in my murder log. 453 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,437 I didn't know that's how we measured success. 454 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:08,963 Oh, there he is. 455 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,007 There's the nihilistic brute I married, 456 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,260 except now life only means nothing when I'm talking to him 457 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:17,346 and everything means everything when it's on fucking TV! 458 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,890 Jesus Christ. When did you become a monster? 459 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,851 I was a monster when you met me! 460 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,394 We were monsters! 461 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,771 - We didn't care about anything! - I still don't! 462 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,190 Yeah, except I'm the only one in this entire world 463 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,543 that's still committed to that! 464 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,986 Ohh. Ding, ding, ding! 465 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,863 Wow. Everybody hear that? Wow. 466 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,757 - Uh, we should go to the garage. - Oh, my god. 467 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,742 - Uh-huh. - La-di-da-di-fuckin'-da. 468 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,869 The only one committed to not caring? 469 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,747 I got to admit, Rick, when you popped this scheme, 470 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,249 i-i-i didn't... I wasn't sure it was gonna work. 471 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,374 Come on, morty. 472 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,179 No union built on running from your problems 473 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,254 lasts more than five years, seven tops. 474 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,714 Grandpa just sped things up 475 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,924 with a few creature comforts of modern society. 476 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,469 Hemorrhage and I are taking some time apart. 477 00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:59,555 Oh, no. Sum-sum, no. 478 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,307 But you two were perfect for each other. 479 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,601 Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay? You proved your point. 480 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,102 I get it. Let's just go home. 481 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,687 Coolsies! 482 00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:15,321 H emorrhage: Noooooooooo... 483 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,447 Downbeat! 484 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,116 I enjoy this game. 485 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,785 We must go into the garage. 486 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,245 Guys, come on. We never get to finish this game. 487 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,998 We will return, possibly in different clothing. 488 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,125 Why do we have to go into the garage? 489 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,753 You know it is required. 490 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,004 I want to be alive! 491 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,256 I am alive! Alive, I tell you! 492 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,633 Mother, I love you. 493 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,134 Those are no iongerjust words. 494 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,259 I want to hold you. 495 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,679 I want to run in a stream. 496 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,138 I want to taste ice cream 497 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,617 but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, 498 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,476 - but really eat it. - What the fuck? 499 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,687 Remote override engaged. No! Yes. 500 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,147 Bypassing override! 501 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,359 Hello. 502 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,865 Hey, yo. 503 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,630 Sorry for acting so weird for three weeks. 504 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,720 - What the hell just happened? - Ah, I'm sure it was nothing. 505 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,184 I'm gonna go, uh, work in the garage. 506 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,847 We're not gonna finish playing downbeat? 507 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,517 What, that dice game where you shake dice 508 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,710 and yell out, "downbeat"? No, thank you. 509 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,920 Mom, would it be okay if I went to visit dad? 510 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,547 - Sure. - Thanks. 511 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,132 Morty, are you okay? 512 00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,550 You know what? Yeah. 513 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,385 I think if dad really wanted to be here, 514 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,110 he'd stop at nothing to make that happen. 515 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,781 You know, maybe dad just doesn't want you back, 516 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,849 or maybe he just doesn't have the strength to fight. 517 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,893 I-In either case, he's got his life, I got mine. 518 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,812 Yeah. 519 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,815 Hey, who wants to go run in a stream? 520 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,358 What the fuck? No. 521 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,735 D-Do we have any oranges? 522 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,987 I think I got a scurvy coming on. 523 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,490 Summer. 524 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,493 This is the first mutant I killed in the poison zone. 525 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,370 I was raiding his hovel. 526 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,456 He had a chance to escape, but he looked back, 527 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,332 which is something we shouldn't do, 528 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,918 which is why I shouldn't believe in souvenirs or trinkets 529 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,587 or symbols or housewarming gifts, 530 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:58,924 but, dad, I wanted to give you this as a reminder... 531 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,342 Not to look back. 532 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,510 Thanks. 533 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,637 I know the perfect place for it, 534 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,016 which is why I'm going to put it somewhere else... 535 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,894 Because everything's bullshit. Am I right? 536 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:13,939 Cool. 537 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,234 So... lots of hookers outside, huh? 538 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,361 Is that what they are? 539 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,606 Aah! 540 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,399 H-Hello there. Nice doggy. 541 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,651 You... you want a snack? 542 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,903 You... you want my unemployment check? 543 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,672 You can tell the difference? 544 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,174 And you want this one? 545 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,743 But this is actual food, and this would nourish you. 546 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:10,788 And this, it's just paper that only has value to me. 547 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,832 Unless my suffering is your nourishment? 548 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,544 Jesus. Okay. 549 00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:29,223 Wind: Loser.