1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:03,480 Rick: Don't let any of those things get away, morty. 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,106 It their DNA gets into earth's food chain, 3 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,650 our entire species could be sterilized. 4 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,133 Then why aren't we killing them? 5 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,135 Right, next time I need a species sterilized, 6 00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,446 who's gonna do it for me, you? 7 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,721 Whoa! Rick! 8 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,473 I-Is that the vindibeacon? 9 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,558 We're being called to assemble by the vindicators! 10 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,852 I refuse to answer a literal call to adventure, morty. 11 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,354 - Let it go to voicemail. - Rick, 12 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,981 the vindicators only call when the universe itself is at stake. 13 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,025 They're the first line of defense against evil. 14 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,503 They're the guardians of the unguarded! 15 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,505 They're the writers of their own press releases, morty. 16 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,798 They're a bunch of drama queens that spend an hour talking 17 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,759 and 20 minutes jumping around while shit blows up. 18 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:34,409 They're a phase. We did one. 19 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,994 It was the big event of that summer. 20 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:36,870 Let it die. 21 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,997 I, morty Smith, invoke my right 22 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,017 to choose one in every 10 Rick and morty adventures. 23 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,335 - God fuckin' damn it! - Read 'em and weep. 24 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,296 Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. 25 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,466 Yes! Vindicator command ship... Beacon received. 26 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,636 We're doing vindicators twoooooo! 27 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,096 Whoops. 28 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,139 Uh, morty, you might want to freeze some sperm. 29 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,466 Supernova: Vindicators, worldender is back, 30 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,136 and this time he's out to end more than worlds. 31 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,930 We have reason to believe his stronghold is located on... 32 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:37,889 - My balls. - Rick! 33 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,474 The terraneous system. 34 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,061 Once in range, million ants will scan for pheromone activity, 35 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,230 which should lead us to the location of the base. 36 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,274 Oh, that's million ants. 37 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,751 I can't see the ants from over here. 38 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:52,571 I just assumed that was, uh, turd man, wiggly turd man. 39 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:53,572 - Rick, stop! - Supernova: Rick, 40 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,365 you have something to add to the briefing? 41 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,492 Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes. 42 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,287 Um, this guy, the, uh... the, uh... 43 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,997 I am crocubot. 44 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,665 Right, crocubot. 45 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:07,085 So, you're half cold, unfeeling reptile, half... 46 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,420 Also cold... 47 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,547 - Equally unfeeling machine. - Yes. 48 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,424 Wow. So, your origin is what? 49 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,468 Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy? 50 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,428 Got damn! 51 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,013 Noob noob, we're having a briefing. 52 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,681 If I can continue, Rick. 53 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,184 I anticipate sophisticated security measures. 54 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,061 I trust you can be of service there. 55 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,205 Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. 56 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,066 Ability to do anything but only whenever I want. 57 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,591 Yeah, that sounds like a job for me. 58 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,111 I wish he had the ability to check his attitude. 59 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,516 Alan rails, ladies and gentlemen. 60 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,674 After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, 61 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,575 he gained the power to summon ghost trains. 62 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,743 It's not all bad, though. 63 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,913 They were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle. 64 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,748 Got damn! 65 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,708 Thanks, noob noob. This guy gets it. 66 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,130 Vance Maximus, renegade star soldier. 67 00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,133 Sorry I'm late. It was happy hour. 68 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,302 Happy hour. 69 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,262 Uh, I was also late because of my drinking 70 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,223 and mentioned it to zero applause. 71 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,433 Rick Sanchez. Tinkerer of terror. 72 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,768 Man, that's hard to say. 73 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,561 And... morty, right? 74 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,772 - Whoa, yeah! - I never forget a kid. 75 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,337 What do you say, vindicators? Let's make this three for three. 76 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,192 - Haha! - Yes! 77 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,777 Did he say "three for three"? 78 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,445 Did he say he never forgets a kid? 79 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,489 You mean two for two, right, Vance? 80 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:22,994 Actually, we assembled a second time last summer 81 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,955 to fight doomnomitron. 82 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,833 So this is... vindicators three? 83 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:31,920 And you guys did vindicators two... without us? 84 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,674 I sense... insecurity. 85 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,599 Are you sure there's not just a picnic nearby? 86 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,554 I guess he found his crowd. 87 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,597 Pretty toothless stuff, guys. 88 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,722 I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, morty. 89 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,521 These guys are even lamer than last time. 90 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,815 We weren't here last time, remember? 91 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,692 They did a whole vindicators without us. 92 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,277 A bunch of them got killed, too. 93 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,822 They lost lady katana, calypso, diablo verde... 94 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,908 Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there. 95 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,494 This article says the reason we weren't involved was... 96 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,329 "Personality conflicts." 97 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,290 Don't worry, morty. They love you. 98 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:11,001 Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along 99 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,170 and react to everything like it's mind-blowing. 100 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:16,256 I... think the personality conflict might have been... 101 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,381 You? 102 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,385 Jesus. 103 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:21,887 How awesome is that? 104 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,573 I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, 105 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,317 they murdered three innocent heroes of color 106 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,017 and they still had to bring me back? 107 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,102 Rick, since it's my adventure and all, 108 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,645 could you do me a favor? 109 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,939 Uh, the adventure is the favor, morty. 110 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,317 Me sleeping on these linens is the favor. 111 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,028 I mean, w-w-what... what are we vindicating? Comfort? 112 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,571 Rick, this really bums me out. 113 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,240 It-it's embarrassing to find out these guys don't like us. 114 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,493 Why? Morty I defeat gagoos 115 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,218 more powerful than these guys every week. 116 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:47,746 Yeah, but not heroes. 117 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,099 Oh, please, they just call themselves heroes so they can... 118 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,919 I'm calling them that, Rick! They're my heroes. Mine! 119 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:58,799 Huh, no accounting for taste. 120 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,467 I'm gonna go get a drink. 121 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,123 Pa system: Good morning, vindicators. 122 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:12,312 Ship has arrived at terraneous system. 123 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,857 All vindicators report to the... briefing room. 124 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,318 The... the room from the, uh... the... 125 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,283 Uh, it's the d... It's a different room than... 126 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,905 Than conference room. 127 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,449 I'm sorry, it's my first day as a pa system. 128 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,952 First-da y jitters. 129 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,497 Oh, god. 130 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:33,333 Good morning. Looks like your grandpa had a long night. 131 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,961 Crocubot, why don't you escort Mr. Sanchez 132 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:39,005 to a more comfortable spot so that someone can 133 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,591 Clean up his diarrhea. 134 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,553 Oooh, I'm nervous about my first mission! 135 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,930 Actually, noob noob, you have a new mission. 136 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,473 Got damn. 137 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,851 Vindicators, prepare for arrival. 138 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,520 Morty, the vindicators and I had a chat this morning, 139 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,772 and I'm afraid we need to make a little change. 140 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,775 I-I totally get it. I-I'm so sorry. 141 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,944 You should be, running around in a yellow t-shirt 142 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,279 like you're not one of us. 143 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,657 - Disgraceful. - I-i-I'm not a superhero. 144 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:06,950 Cop a squat, chief. 145 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,743 Everyone in the universe is a hero. 146 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,305 All you have to do is know the difference between good and bad 147 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,329 and root for good. 148 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,791 Rick says good and bad are artificial constructs. 149 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,877 Yeah, well, I get the feeling... 150 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,254 He kind of needs that to be the case. 151 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,463 Not coming, noob noob? 152 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:25,552 Ohh! No, uh, I got stuff to do here. 153 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,311 Vance: Security drones inbound. 154 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,188 Star mother, Grant me your wrath. 155 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,527 All aboard! 156 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,541 - Gun turret. - Are you all right? 157 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,752 Yes. I only lost 400 ants. 158 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,629 My queen is laying more. 159 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,506 I am back to... one million ants. 160 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,133 Someone wake up Sanchez. 161 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,803 Ugh! Oh, Christ. 162 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,555 - Rick. You're up. - Barely. 163 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,474 We're taking fire from an automated turret. 164 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,059 - Can you bring it offline? - Uh-huh. 165 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,737 - Uh, my god, that's better. - Supernova: Rick! 166 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,739 Hey, I can't help if I can't see. 167 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,843 I could've just used a ghost train. 168 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,638 Really? You don't say. You would've used a ghost train? 169 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,848 Hey, everybody, the ghost train guy 170 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,684 would have used a ghost train. 171 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,435 - Man, fuck you. - Is there coffee? 172 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,728 Hey, morty, can you be a pal? 173 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,493 Grandpa left his coffee maker on the ship, 174 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,874 you know, the French press thing... 175 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:02,899 Get it yourself. 176 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,863 Little extra snippy this morning, aren't you? 177 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,490 Just focus on the mission, all right? 178 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,492 Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you're right. 179 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,870 Ohh, real serious. Gotta take it real serious, huh? 180 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,166 Son of a steam engine. They're all dead. 181 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:23,086 Why would worldender do this to his own men... 182 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,463 - And several women? - Well, he is the worldender. 183 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,716 The guy ends worlds. Kind of his thing. 184 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,969 Ohh, real scared. Real fuckin' on alert, 185 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,220 high alert over here. 186 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,306 Watch out! 187 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,266 What the fuck?! 188 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,768 It's worldender! What happened to him? 189 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,313 I sense his life force is fading. 190 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,749 Rick: Million ants, ladies and gentlemen. 191 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:46,401 The ant colony with the power of two human eyes. 192 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,280 Rick: All right. Short mission. Good mission. 193 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,532 Remember when Alan wanted to use a ghost train? 194 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,367 See you guys in vindicators four. Morty? 195 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,660 Rick, whoever did this 196 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,495 is an even bigger threat than worldender. 197 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,663 We can't leave now. 198 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,124 He's right. This is far from over. 199 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,125 Well, have fun with that, 200 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,531 but morty and I have to meet a lady comet, a monorail man, 201 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,671 two assholes, and a full alligator in like an hour. 202 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,268 Shit. 203 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:24,522 I sense the presence of a greater evil. 204 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,525 Drunk Rick: Check, check. One, two. 205 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,570 Okay. Is it recording? Good. 206 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,280 Hello, vindicators. 207 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,450 Welcome to your reckoning, baby! 208 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,118 Welp, it's official. 209 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,537 I had too much to drink last night. 210 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,165 If you guys are watching this, 211 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,751 you're, you know, the vindicators. 212 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,796 - So, now that we know... - Rick? What's going on, buddy? 213 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,091 Obviously, I came here last night during a blackout. 214 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,342 "Obviously"? 215 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,636 You came here and defeated our archnemesis 216 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,679 while so drunk, you don't remember doing it? 217 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,973 That's something "obvious" to you? 218 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,993 Look, I'm a lit... little more complex than you guys, 219 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,061 and, no offense, but I've always suspected 220 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,413 that a lot of what you do in a year 221 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,998 could be knocked out in a couple of hours. 222 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,233 So I thought why not just do your job for you 223 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,568 so we can have a little fun game. 224 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,656 Morty: Rick, is... Is this a "saw" thing? 225 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,158 Are you seriously sawing the vindicators? 226 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,119 Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack. 227 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,663 If you break the rules, lose the game, or try to leave, 228 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:22,914 you will die. 229 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,208 Like in "sawwww." 230 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,727 Well, i-i-i think we've seen enough. 231 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,311 I'll just figure out how to unplug this. 232 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,563 Okay, here we go. Room number one. 233 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,273 The vindicators are known throughout the galaxy, 234 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,384 but do they know yourselves... Do you know yourselves? 235 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,803 Match your... your shit, your... your gimmicks, 236 00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:39,389 with your faces, and y-you get it. 237 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,514 It's a matching thing. 238 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:44,060 And do it in three minutes or you'll all die. 239 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,938 Screw this. I'm not playing his game. 240 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,415 I'm gonna find us a way out of here. 241 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,708 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance. 242 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,292 He said you'd die if you tried to leave. 243 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,545 That means there's booby traps. 244 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,779 Why are you acting like that's not you? 245 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,781 What part of "blackout" don't you understand? 246 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:57,782 I thought you drank. 247 00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,368 Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, 248 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,662 not this psycho, trailer-park shit! 249 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,289 Vance, stay calm. 250 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,475 Oh, so you're the leader now, because we gave you a jacket? 251 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,626 You're the learning-disabled kid we do photo ops with. 252 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,628 - Okay, ouch, but... - Okay, this... 253 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,214 This is triggering me. I need space. 254 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,384 I-I need space from this! 255 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,659 Give me one reason 256 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,179 why I shouldn't crush your windpipe. 257 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,998 Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh. 258 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,243 And because, like I said, I don't remember last night. 259 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,878 I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back. 260 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,314 Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, 261 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,398 but if you keep coming at me, 262 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,091 there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train. 263 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,636 Guys! I figured it out. 264 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,347 Congrats! You did it! 265 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,725 It was a bit. All of the descriptors apply to all of you. 266 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:06,726 Drunk Rick's point 267 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,062 is that none of you are very special or different. 268 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,730 That's always his point. 269 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,857 Let's just get through this as quickly as possible. 270 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,859 Then we'll deal with the two of you. 271 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,654 The two of us? I hope you're proud of yourself. 272 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,281 Uh, I kind of am. I saved the goddamn universe. 273 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,616 That's not the issue, Rick! 274 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,743 Ahh, it would've been if I hadn't! 275 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,203 The vindicators say their job 276 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:27,372 is to fight evil wherever it hides, 277 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,208 but they don't... Pick the location you'll... 278 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,044 You'll never hear them even mention, 279 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,172 because to fight darkness is to fight yourself. 280 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,341 Oh! I know this. Dorian 5! 281 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:39,342 Crocubot, don't! 282 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,969 There's no other possible answer. 283 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,846 My mechanical and reptilian logic are certain of it. 284 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,516 Oh! 285 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,726 Huh! I'm seeing more croc than bot here. 286 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:49,851 God damn it! 287 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,563 - Uh, what happened on Dorian 5? - Nothing! 288 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,858 Nothing? We exterminated a planet. 289 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,026 W-Wait. Huh? 290 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,113 Doomnomitron was hiding there! He's a shapeshifter. 291 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:03,032 Destroying Dorian 5 was the only way to kill him. 292 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,617 Come on, guys, we're all thinking it. 293 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:05,868 Don't... 294 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:06,869 Don't make me say it. 295 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,579 Oh, okay. This again. 296 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,545 You know I could have made you a device 297 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,376 to detect doomnomitron from orbit like that. 298 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,254 I'm not the one that didn't want you back. Alan was. 299 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:19,799 If you lay those deaths at my doorstep one more time... 300 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,968 Do not threaten her. 301 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,387 Congrats, you did it. 302 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,431 What the hell is "Israel"? 303 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,396 I-It's just something Rick starts talking about 304 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,559 when he's blackout drunk. 305 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,352 W-What? In w... in w-w-what way? 306 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,937 Like, w-w-what's my point? 307 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,147 In a way that has no point. 308 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,542 You just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations 309 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,442 and then you pass out. 310 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,695 So, to be clear, I sometimes reference 311 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,072 the geopolitical complexities of the topic, 312 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,397 which is not the same as going to an anti-semitic place. 313 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,534 I have no stake in this. 314 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,828 I don't, either. I'm... I'm just saying, if anything, 315 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,331 the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel 316 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,558 he wants what's best for it and... 317 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:56,627 Hey, man, I'm not touching this. You do you. 318 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:01,924 Aloha... means hello and goodbye in Hawaii. 319 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:05,094 But, uh, aloha means... 320 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,180 Has nothing to do with this room. 321 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,682 I'm so fuckin' drunk. 322 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,434 Ugh, okay. Here's the deal. 323 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,353 I-I want to rest my eyes for a little bit. 324 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,354 I'm... I'm not going to sleep. 325 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,189 I just... just need to rest my eyes, 326 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,815 so let's make this one simple. 327 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,068 Just... try to hit some three-pointers. 328 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,737 Let's say... you have to hit... five three-pointers 329 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,281 in... five minutes... or... I don't know... 330 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,134 The whole place... the whole planet will get blown up 331 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,951 - with a n-neutrino bomb. - [ Beep I 332 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,917 and try to make it a-a lesson about yourselves, 333 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,622 like... like how selfish you are... 334 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:33,915 Are or something. 335 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,792 And also Hawaii. 336 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,377 You guys hit the baskets. 337 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,962 I'll disarm the drunkenly improvised neutrino bomb. 338 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,547 There's a 40% chance it's a dud, 339 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,716 but y-you should still stay back. 340 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,469 - Morty, how many of these... - Too many, Rick! Too many! 341 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,889 Man, I am really getting high-roaded today. 342 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,250 That's a three-pointer. 343 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,853 - Nice shot. - Thank you. 344 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,814 You two make quite a team. 345 00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,066 We all do. 346 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,191 Yeah, I guess. 347 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,419 That's a three-pointer. 348 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:06,406 But you guys have always had a... an unspoken bond. 349 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,534 I mean really unspoken. 350 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,287 Like, let's-not-tell-my-husband unspoken. 351 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:17,667 We aren't married anymore, Alan. 352 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,627 Sure, but were we married 353 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:23,548 when you two were "stranded" on delphi six for three days? 354 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:28,052 Because I sensed something was weird when you came back, 355 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,763 but what do I know about sensitivity? 356 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,557 I'm just a phantom train conductor. 357 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:36,060 You're the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife! 358 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,271 That's a three-pointer. 359 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,581 Where the fuck is the lead wire? 360 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,874 You always put it in the weirdest place. 361 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,191 Um, uh, over here maybe? 362 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,193 Jesus Christ, what a shitty neutrino bomb. 363 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,171 It's a miracle I ever actually destroy anything. 364 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:46,904 Oh, I don't know. 365 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,115 You managed to destroy just about everything today. 366 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,324 The villains, the heroes, 367 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,201 the lines between them, my childhood. 368 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,203 Thank you. I appreciate it, morty. 369 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,681 I know you were sucking the kool-aid 370 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,723 out of the vindicators' dicks, 371 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,267 so the fact that I was right about them 372 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,542 must be pretty hard to admit. 373 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,252 Yeah, it is. You know why, Rick? 374 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,521 Because when you're an asshole, 375 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,897 it doesn't matter how right you are. 376 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,756 Nobody wants to give you the satisfaction. 377 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:08,009 I know. Everyone wants people they like to be right. 378 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,927 That's why popular people are fucking dumb. 379 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,721 And why your pretentious, poorly written, 380 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:12,948 high-budget friends back there 381 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,807 can eat a double-Decker shit sandwich. 382 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,225 Disarmed. 383 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,561 Holy shit. You're jealous. 384 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,521 Yes! Is that what you want to hear?! 385 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:21,898 Did it feel good? 386 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,609 Did you like his six million wriggling legs 387 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,444 more than my tragedy-stricken, 388 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,905 half-ghost, half-tumescent penis?! 389 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:29,739 Guys, stop! 390 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,550 You're just proving my asshole grandpa right! 391 00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:35,036 You wish this was about sex! We loved each other! 392 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,246 - We had a child together! - What?! 393 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,415 I conceived a child with million ants, 394 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,167 and it died inside me 395 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:45,796 because it was half a million ants and half collapsing star! 396 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:49,258 And yes. He was better than you. 397 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:52,094 - Yeah? - One million times better. 398 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,264 All aboard, motherfucker! 399 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,058 Stop! 400 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,021 Oof! Didn't see that coming. 401 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,523 Is that sarcasm? 402 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,501 I don't want you slipping away when this is over. 403 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,443 All of these deaths are on your hands. 404 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,962 Okay, come on, maybe a couple of them, 405 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,321 but definitely not the train guy. 406 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,656 - Oof! - All of them. 407 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:12,781 Okay. 408 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,326 Congrats. You did it. 409 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,764 All right, by now, I've been pretty clear 410 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,207 that I think the vindicators are full of shit. 411 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:24,085 But... you do have one thing that I'll never have. 412 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,212 And that thing is the only part of the vindicators 413 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,588 with any value to me. 414 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,132 If you know what it is, place it on the platform. 415 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,802 Guess wrong, and the pla-planet will explode. 416 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,262 And probably the solar system, 417 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,448 'cause I kind of fuckin' eyeballed the neutrino bombs 418 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,640 on this one. 419 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:41,143 So what's the trick? Morty, you're the drunk Rick expert. 420 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:45,189 I think... no matter what we put on there, we die. 421 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,650 He said it's the part of the vindicators he values. 422 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:48,775 That means nothing. 423 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,018 He wants our last moment alive 424 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,988 to be spent knowing how few fucks he gave. 425 00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:54,532 Jesus! Okay, open to second opinions. 426 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,117 It could... it could be morty. 427 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,493 - What? - Hey, I don't know. 428 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,120 I mean, look, when I get drunk, 429 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,405 I get stupid and emotional, and there's no logic to it. 430 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,666 It's, like, it's possible I got so drunk 431 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,751 I felt like I was losing morty to the vindicators, 432 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,421 and maybe this is my way of saying, "okay, 433 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,816 you can have him, but only if you know how important he is. 434 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,049 Otherwise, I'll kill you." 435 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,760 That is a... Really specific guess. 436 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,221 Look, i-i... there's nothing in the room but us. 437 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,432 I'm just using logic to connect some dots. 438 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:20,701 It's the best guess I've got. 439 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,768 But you're betting our lives on it. 440 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,104 I'll cover that bet. I get it. 441 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,189 Well, morty, I think you're doing that smirky face 442 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,871 because you're misinterpreting the moment. 443 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,193 I am not being coy about some hidden love for you. 444 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,589 I want to be really clear that if anyone has a better guess, 445 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,990 like, if I gave you an amulet last night or... 446 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,993 Phew. 447 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,912 Oh, shit. 448 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,667 Sorry. I'm... not good at goodbyes, 449 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,462 and I'm drunk, so, you know, I just... 450 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,006 It looks like I'm never going to see you again. 451 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,924 I can't really roll with the hero types. 452 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,218 And I don't... they... They don't want me around. 453 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:59,805 But I want you to know, even if I didn't show it at the time, 454 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,391 I really appreciated you sticking by me. 455 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:06,062 God damn it, why am I crying? It makes no sense. 456 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,272 Ugh, you're... You're probably confused 457 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,583 because we barely knew each other, 458 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,067 but you really stuck your neck out 459 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,194 When you gave me props for my awesome jokes 460 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,403 in the briefing room. 461 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:16,488 Everybody else had their head so far up their ass. 462 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,199 Even my own grandson is like, 463 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,576 "oh, the vindicators, they're so cool." 464 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,663 I mean, he's a moron. That's their demographic. 465 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,247 But you're different, noob noob. 466 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,083 Motherfucker. 467 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,502 You're fucking cool. And you're smart. 468 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,837 And I bet we could've hung out and shit. 469 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,465 And I hope you get to be a full-fledged vindicator, 470 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,050 and... and do... do me a favor. 471 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,219 Don't... don't let them know I-I got emotional. 472 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,179 But you can tell them one thing. 473 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,972 Tell them I said... 474 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:45,726 Oh, fuck. Okay. I just shit myself. Okay, later. 475 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,150 - W... dude, morty, what happened? - Shut up. 476 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,113 I sense this means we are not dying. 477 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,489 Not all of us. 478 00:19:58,614 --> 00:19:59,907 Sweetheart. 479 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,992 Just let titty bean do this, snuzzles. 480 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:02,993 It's for the greater good. 481 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:03,994 - Greater good? - Titty bean? 482 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,579 It's like you said, morty. 483 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,832 - There's no right or wrong. - Never said that. 484 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,668 It's the galaxy's faith in the vindicators 485 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,962 that keeps the galaxy secure. 486 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,167 Yeah, I feel safer already. 487 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,340 No doubt. Who do we make the check out to? 488 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,634 I will say we are getting some good licks in 489 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,159 - while choking to death... - Right? 490 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,887 Titty bean. Listen to me. 491 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,013 When you came to me, 492 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,474 I was merely a sentient colony of ants. 493 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,436 It was your beliefs, your pursuit of justice 494 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,688 that taught me to be a man. 495 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,482 When did it get so complicated? 496 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:36,193 Who knows? But we can make it simple again. 497 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,987 You were always the romantic. 498 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,156 Which is why you can't leave, either. 499 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,120 I'm sorry, my love. 500 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,914 Damn! She double-crossed snuzzles! 501 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,792 Shence! I'm going to enjoy this. 502 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,128 Announcer: Let's give a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez 503 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,922 for killing worldender, putting this awesome party together, 504 00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:00,301 and for booking one of the hottest talents out there... 505 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:04,054 - Logic! - Logic: Aw, yeah. 506 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,449 - Look at that. - Logic: It's going down. 507 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,033 Geez, I must have planned a whole party. 508 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,493 - Logic: It's logic, y'all. - Invited a bunch of people. 509 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,519 Not bad, drunk Rick, not bad. 510 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:11,687 Are you ready? 511 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,207 J“ there's a choo-choo train man, he's rolling down tragedy j“ 512 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,150 j“ everybody knowing supernova fights gravity j“ 513 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,694 - Rick, supernova's getting away. - Eh, who cares? 514 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,362 But... she was trying to kill us. 515 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,239 Morty, 20 people try to kill me every week. 516 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,924 I end up getting high with half of them. 517 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,451 I mean, check it out. Gearhead's here. 518 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:28,245 Hmm. Well, that's gonna shoot through me. 519 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,122 Morty, you're wearing a vindicator jacket. 520 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,999 Are you a little superhero now? 521 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,043 Everyone in the universe is a hero, mom. 522 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,753 Which is why we don't need jackets. 523 00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:37,647 And I'm pretty sure we don't need vindicators. 524 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:38,923 Don't mind if I do. 525 00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:41,717 Hey, everybody! Look who's a vindicator! 526 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,303 Man, grandpa Rick must have gotten shitfaced. 527 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:45,221 Shut up, summer. 528 00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:47,741 J“ can't forget about the one who never seems to get a chance j“ 529 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:48,390 noob noob! 530 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:49,868 J“ all the bitches come around for j“ 531 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:50,768 noob noob! 532 00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,204 J“ his dick gets more visits than j“ 533 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,522 -j“ YouTube j“ -who the fuck is noob noob? 534 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:55,439 Noob noob! 535 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,000 Logic: J“ say, everybody, everybody is j“ 536 00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,901 yo, it's logic once again, y'all. 537 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,236 Don't forget the name. 538 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,529 Make sure you get home safe. 539 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,614 And, man, we gotta all give it up for Rick, 540 00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,258 'cause, I mean, what kind of motherfucker 541 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,201 just sets up a whole festival like this 542 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,578 when he's completely loaded, man? 543 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:13,249 And all that stuff I said about Vance, that's not real. 544 00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:16,460 Vance, fuck that guy. That guy sucks dick. 545 00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,671 Whoo! 546 00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,798 Yeah! 547 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,845 D-Did I get paid yet? Whoo! 548 00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,724 I can't believe we're getting gear cream with a vindicator. 549 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:34,603 So, you girls in gear college or gear... 550 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,022 Alien terror attack! 551 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:41,527 Okay. Sounds like a job for... me. 552 00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:44,405 Ibeflergo get into my alter ego. 553 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,657 - So cool. - I know. 554 00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,492 Wait, what alter ego? 555 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:50,286 He was already wearing the jacket. 556 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,150 Gotta know when to hold 'em and... 557 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:55,248 Aaaaah!