1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,586 Morty, hurry! 2 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,005 Return the truth tortoise! 3 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,257 Morty, whatever you do, don't drop the truth tortoise! 4 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:08,425 Also really important, 5 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,385 whatever you do, don't look into its eyes! 6 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,055 I-I did look at it, Rick! I've been looking at it! 7 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,324 Now you're gonna know everything, morty! 8 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,148 Good job! Way to go! You fucked everything up! 9 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,227 [Speaking gibberish] 10 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,521 It's in my head! [Screams] 11 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:21,646 Ah! 12 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,483 [Screams] 13 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,862 Oh, geez, I-I can't get that truth tortoise out of my head. 14 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,781 Yeah, I told you not to look into its eyes. 15 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,926 Hey, morty, let's watch some interdimensional cable. 16 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:33,825 Remember how we used to do that? 17 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,619 Rick, I can't... I can't go on. 18 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:36,870 I-I can't go on like this 19 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,515 with the truth tortoise shit in my head. 20 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,623 I-I wish you could just... 21 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,917 Erase the memory from your mind? 22 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,752 How did you know I was gonna say that? 23 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,420 Come on, morty, come with me. 24 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,673 After you. 25 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,509 What the hell is this?! 26 00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,219 This, morty, is my archive 27 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,513 of all the experiences you've begged me to remove 28 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,932 from your life, lest you go insane. 29 00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,644 I call them morty's mind blowers. 30 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,050 And we'll be doing this instead of interdimensional cable. 31 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,732 [Dramatic music plays] 32 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,014 How long have I been asking you to remove memories? 33 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,349 Since the first [burps] time your mind was blown. 34 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,851 Ahh, here it is. [Burps] 35 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,269 Classic. [ Blows] 36 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,645 There's no dust on it because 37 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,373 this isn't the first time we've done this. 38 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:49,234 - What?! - I call this one "moonspiracy"! 39 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,902 [Laughs] 40 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:54,781 [Insects chirping] 41 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,451 Morty: Huh, wow. That's incredible. 42 00:01:58,994 --> 00:01:59,994 What the heck? 43 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,999 Morty, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? 44 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,351 Yeah, pretty crazy story, morty. 45 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,209 Are you serious? 46 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,879 Half the crap we've seen, and you think that sounds crazy? 47 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,644 I've been to 300 versions of earth's moon, 48 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,549 including this one, and I've never seen signs 49 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,635 of a "regular dude," as you describe him, 50 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,636 hanging out up there. 51 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,721 It's probably just a smudge on the lens. 52 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:21,224 Smudge on the lens? Smudge on the lens?! 53 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,393 I know the difference between a man threatening me 54 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,437 and a smudge on the goddamn lens, summer! 55 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,397 Morty, calm down! Are you feeling okay? 56 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,274 I'm fine! 57 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,901 So sensitive. 58 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,070 [School bell rings] 59 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,839 Principal vagina: Kids, I'd like to introduce you all 60 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,783 to our new guidance counselor, Mr. Lunas. 61 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,285 I look forward to helping guide you all 62 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,537 towards a brighter future. 63 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,040 I believe every student should... 64 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,459 Shoot for the moon. 65 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,757 Got you now, you son of a bitch. 66 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,842 [Camera shutter clicking] 67 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,303 What's this? 68 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,931 Proof that Mr. Lunas isn't who he says he is! 69 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,200 He's not a guidance counselor? 70 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,060 I-I assume he's qualified to be one. Who isn't? 71 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,271 But he also lives on the moon. 72 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,190 Okay. 73 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,776 Hmm. Is that it? 74 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,301 Is he doing anything to hurt anyone? 75 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,904 Oh, he's up to something. 76 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,323 I think I understand. 77 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,367 "Up to something," "lives on the moon." 78 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,743 Okay, I'll talk to him. 79 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,838 [Tires screeching ] 80 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:34,965 What did he say? 81 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,170 Denied the moon stuff, but that's what pedophiles do. 82 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,528 They deny. It's their bread and butter. 83 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,832 - Pedophhe? - You don't think so? 84 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,280 I thought the moon thing might have been code. 85 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,306 No, he's literally from the moon! 86 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,516 Well, you saw him react. 87 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,185 Moon or not, that dude likes 'em young. 88 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,150 [Siren wails] 89 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,193 Gordon lunas was a good marine. 90 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,571 We don't know what drove him to take his own life, 91 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,531 but we want to remember the good things. 92 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,907 Like how, from a certain angle, 93 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:04,369 some people would say he looked like a smudge. 94 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,291 [Squeak] 95 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,917 Oh, my god, what have I done? 96 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,419 What have I done? 97 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,380 Jesus, I made that guy kill himself! 98 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,590 Only in a literal sense. 99 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,843 Here's one I call "morty's [burp] menagerie." 100 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,112 They don't all have titles, though. 101 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,696 It's not a "Simpsons" Halloween special, 102 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:26,224 more like a clip show made of clips you never saw! 103 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,203 I can't believe we got put into a menagerie. 104 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,271 So this guy collects living beings? 105 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,082 Rick: Yeah, you know like commemorative plates, 106 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,106 but less off-putting. 107 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,335 You'll get it when you're still actively dating in your 40s. 108 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,236 Assess this with cold indifference, 109 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,196 you veiny-headed prick! 110 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,531 - [ Crash! ] - Hey, keep it down! 111 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,283 Just our luck, menagerie beneath 112 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,327 the "Boulder people" of granitor seven. 113 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,596 I can't take it anymore, Rick! 114 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,079 - [ Banging ] - Relax, morty! 115 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,540 I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we... We gotta get outta here! 116 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,209 I don't care what it takes! Anything! 117 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,877 - Anything? - Anything! 118 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,813 All right, well, you're gonna have to take off your shirt. 119 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,714 Not yet. I'll tell you when. 120 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,800 [Sonar pinging] 121 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,469 [ Chattering ] 122 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,304 Dear god. 123 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,889 What? 124 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,308 The signal turned out to be... 125 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,268 There's no other way to put it... 126 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,103 - Instructions. - For? 127 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:15,148 A vehicle, sir, an interstellar vehicle. 128 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,901 We'll need a pilot. I wonder if there's a volunteer. 129 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,197 Oh, the schematics specify a second, smaller pilot. 130 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,324 I mean, they really specify smaller. 131 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,785 They have to be exactly 5'3". 132 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,371 Chang, you may have majored in liberal arts, 133 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,790 but I think you're about to make history. 134 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,084 [Grunts] 135 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,409 Woman: Primary systems, check. 136 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,420 Auxiliary systems, check. 137 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,964 See you soon. 138 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,885 Okay, now. 139 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,762 Greetings. 140 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:47,806 You're... you look... 141 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,392 We've possessed forms your mind can accept. 142 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,727 Here are some customary clothing gifts. 143 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,437 Please, put them on. 144 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,690 - May we? - Of course, yes. 145 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,275 We followed your instructions. 146 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,986 We have so much to learn from you. 147 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,529 I know, right? 148 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,241 [Creak] 149 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,371 Hey, how come I was able to see those other people's memories? 150 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,164 I-I wouldn't have been around for that. 151 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,892 Yeah, sometimes I gotta do a little editing, morty. 152 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,084 It helps the mind blowers 153 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,809 play a little bit better upon revisiting. 154 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,131 I call this one "the whole enchilada. 155 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,592 Here, morty, this'll make your urine drinkable. 156 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,802 Now can we keep shopping? 157 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,470 I am zikzak. 158 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,991 Ah, shit, morty, get behind me. It's a fucking alien overlord! 159 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,683 It's okay. Here. 160 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,143 Oh, I misjudged. 161 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,854 Morty: "I am floop floopian. Please kill me." 162 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:36,855 That's right, morty. 163 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,608 The floop floopians achieve an eternal orgasmic afterlife, 164 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,985 so long as they're killed by a great warrior. 165 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,950 I'm flattered, by the way. Thank you very much. 166 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,363 So you're gonna kill him? 167 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,198 Eh, let's get some lunch first. 168 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,413 So, you want to get shot in the head, or... 169 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,081 Well, as long as the wound is fatal, 170 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,559 I don't really mind where you shoot me. 171 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,023 Cool. I'm gonna go take a quick shit. 172 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,629 Well, I gotta say. You know, I'm a little envious. 173 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,714 Your species has an actual afterlife. 174 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,008 - That's gotta be nice. - Wh-what do you mean? 175 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,802 Well, you know, here on earth, w-we don't know what's going on. 176 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,072 It must be nice for you guys to, you know, have that... 177 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,390 Have that proof's in the pudding, you know, evidence. 178 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:17,437 Evidence? There's supposed to be evidence? 179 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,023 Um, yeah, uh... 180 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:24,110 Otherwise, how do you know if it's true? 181 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,237 [Clears throat] 182 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,156 Wait, you don't... 183 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,701 All right, so you want to do this here or outside? 184 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,036 [Weapon cocks, powers up] 185 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,829 Run! 186 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,206 [Door slams open] 187 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,624 I don't wanna die! 188 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,292 [Horn honks] 189 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,295 [Chanting] 190 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,714 Oh, god, it's all real! Oh, it hurts! 191 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,341 Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it! 192 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,343 I shouldn't have let you make me doubt it! 193 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,054 Aah! I blame you, I blame you! 194 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,306 But he said there wasn't any evidence! 195 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,557 That was a ton of evidence! 196 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,683 Well, silver lining. 197 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:56,994 Now I know their religion's real. 198 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,770 They have a hell, and it does not look good. 199 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,814 I noticed you never finished your Chimichanga, 200 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,900 so I got some room for it now, if you know what I mean. 201 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,318 Holy shit! 202 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,588 How many of these are just horrible mistakes I've made? 203 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,052 I mean, maybe I'd stop making so many 204 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,341 if I let myself learn from them! 205 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,283 Don't break your back creating a lesson, morty. 206 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,576 It's a freeform anthology. 207 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,346 I'm getting annoyed you're not hearing that. 208 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,330 As you can see around me, your mind's been blown 209 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:21,543 countless times, and not always by yourself. 210 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,294 Ah, shit, I don't even... 211 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,772 This better not have been a good one. 212 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:25,672 What is this? 213 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,882 Great, "booger aids," "aids booger." 214 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,509 I gotta start using real file names. 215 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,219 In the meantime, enjoy a grab bag 216 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,598 of mind blowers I call "poop aids underscore copy." 217 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,018 Alien warlord: I'm not an unreasonable man, Beth Smith. 218 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,270 I know children are everything to a mammal. 219 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,772 I will spare one of their lives. 220 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,733 You simply have to choose. 221 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,152 Summer! Summer. 222 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,383 You're not gonna believe this. 223 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,992 I went to Phoebe instead of titan. 224 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,411 It's, like, hello, saturn, after 10 moons, 225 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,913 time to stop naming and start numbering, you know? 226 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,291 What's... wh-what's with you assholes? 227 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,334 Morty, please, don't do this. 228 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,627 [Evhlaugh] 229 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,113 [Voice echoing] Your morty is gone! 230 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,132 I am voltamatron, destroyer of worlds! 231 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,617 Grandpa Rick, there must be some scientific way to save him! 232 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,678 Not scientific, but there may be a way. 233 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,306 Morty, I know you're in there. It's me, your grandpa. 234 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,151 I know I can be mean, but I love you, morty. 235 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,663 We all do. You gotta fight this thing. 236 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,287 I know you can. You're stronger than all of us! 237 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,646 Morty, it's mom! We love you. You have to fight it! 238 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,232 Come on, morty! Fight that stupid worm thing! 239 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,376 - We love you! - [ Screaming] 240 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,610 Summer: We love you so much! 241 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,415 Rick: Yes, morty, come on, you're doing it! 242 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,989 You're doing it! You're doing it! 243 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,824 [Gagging, coughing] 244 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,534 Should we pull it out? 245 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,995 No, don't touch it. Just keep loving morty! 246 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,081 We still love you. 247 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,166 But I do have a thing at 6:00. 248 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,709 Oh, god, do I have to keep looking? 249 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:47,003 Geez, morty, come on, pinch it off already! 250 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,339 - [ Laughter] - [ Screaming] 251 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,133 Don't! Oh, god, sorry, morty. I love you! 252 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,259 [Whimpering] 253 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,024 God, is there going to be an intermission? 254 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,764 Excuse me, but I ordered the large evil space worm. 255 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,516 I know, it's like, is that a demon slug 256 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,392 in your stomach, or are you just happy to... 257 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,269 - [ Screaming] - Sorry! 258 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,272 Well, I guess it's nice to know the whole family sucks! 259 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,774 So if the blue ones are my fault 260 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,401 and the purple ones are my family's, what are the red ones? 261 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,029 Yeah, d-don't read into it, morty! 262 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,364 [Birds chirping] 263 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,032 Ahh. 264 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,535 Shit! We need to find shelter before the sunset, morty. 265 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,037 Venzenulon nine has a night temperature of 300 below! 266 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,081 We'll freeze, morty! W-We'll be dead in seconds! 267 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,291 I-I think I saw a cave over there. 268 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,602 You've seen too many movies, morty. 269 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,379 A cave isn't gonna cut it. We're gonna have to use beebo. 270 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,048 Beebo led us to water! He's our friend! 271 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,716 - He won't even feel it! - Oh, no, no! 272 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,386 [Beebo groans] 273 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,139 You wanna die, morty? Get in beebo! 274 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,850 Oh, no, no! 275 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,060 Brace for the ice limit. 276 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,770 Here it comes! 277 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:53,361 Wait, are we on venzenulon nine or venzenulon seven? 278 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,823 Wait a minute. Why would I ask for that to be removed? 279 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,616 Are the red ones stuff you wanted removed? 280 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,286 Ooh, that's clever, morty, but I don't use color to sort things 281 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,514 because I'm not a mouse in a European children's book. 282 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,378 Then why are all those pink ones by the liquor? 283 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,250 Liquor? 284 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,294 [Ray guns blasting] 285 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,507 [ Both sigh ] 286 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,634 - Shit, that was close. - We lost captain sky. 287 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,261 He gave his life for the uprising. 288 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,555 Yeah. It really makes you think, huh, morty? 289 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,432 We should never take things for granite. 290 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,225 - What? - I'm just saying, life's short. 291 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,790 We shouldn't take things for granite. 292 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,770 - Are you saying "granite"? - Well, yeah. 293 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,689 It's "granted," with a 'd." 294 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,567 Take things for granted. Did you actually think it was... 295 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,444 [Laughs] Jesus Christ, Rick, 296 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,696 what are you, a Boulder... A rock person? 297 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,257 How long have you been saying that wrong? 298 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,282 Oh, you like that, huh? 299 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,409 I b-b-bet that really blows your mind. 300 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,869 I mean, yeah, it's kind of great. 301 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,163 - You want me to erase it? - What, you can do that? 302 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,290 - [ Buzzing ] - Ah, shit. 303 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,667 I fucking knew it, you piece of shit! 304 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,170 You... you... You're a fucking asshole, Rick! 305 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,005 Take it easy, morty. Come on. Just relax. 306 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,608 No, I'm not gonna fucking relax! Come here! 307 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:56,817 Let go of me, you little bitch! 308 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,027 I'm gonna grab you by the scruff of your... 309 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,720 - Take that! - Ohh! 310 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,555 -Umm -umm uhh. 311 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,098 - What... - What's going on? 312 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,264 - Where am I? - Who are we? 313 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,311 - Who am I? - I think I'm an adolescent boy. 314 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,897 Huh, and I'm an elderly man. 315 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:15,151 And we appear to be in some kind of secret confined space. 316 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,820 - Yeah, umm... - Don't look at me like that. 317 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,406 For all we know, you could be the fuckin' weirdo. 318 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,494 Huh, these things are obviously storage units, 319 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,371 and since we can't remember what went wrong, 320 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,207 my guess is that the technology involves memory 321 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,502 and that this thing on your head is designed to... 322 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,212 Tell us the code, jagoff! 323 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,713 [Speaking alien language] 324 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,173 It's pointless. He's stonewalling. 325 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,509 Rick, if we don't unlock those vaccines, earth dies! 326 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,695 You know, it might be time to step up your interrogation! 327 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,072 Not sure what you're implying, morty, 328 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,764 but some lines I don't cross. 329 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,516 Yeah, well, I crossed every line I had 330 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,060 when this bastard tried to kill Jessica! 331 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,104 [Speaking alien language] 332 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:54,941 Okay, see those two fleshy sacs under his chin, morty? 333 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,067 Grab 'em. 334 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,403 You remember the codes now? 335 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,531 - Twist! - [ Screaming] 336 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,992 Give us the codes, man! Twist harder, morty! 337 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,952 - Harder! - [ Screaming] 338 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,288 Okay, let go, let go, let him breathe. 339 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,706 [Speaking alien language] 340 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,124 He wants to make a deal. 341 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,543 Half the codes now, half after you finish. 342 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,461 But can we trust... wait, what? 343 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,586 F-Finish what? 344 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:17,671 Y-You know. 345 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,299 I thought I was torturing him! 346 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,800 Oh, and this disappoints you? 347 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,565 Do I tell him we don't have a deal, morty? 348 00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,913 Because if we can kill our enemies 349 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:27,015 but we can't Jack them off, then how are we better than them? 350 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,808 Well, what did you find out? 351 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,518 We're partners, I guess, 352 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,271 and we fight aliens, like "men in black"? 353 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,981 "Men in black," "men in black." 354 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,524 I have "men in black 2" in here. 355 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,151 So... so you get the general idea. 356 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,694 [Laughs] Notquhe. 357 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,588 It's basically an endless string of callbacks to... 358 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,741 All right, save it for YouTube. I'll keep looking for clues. 359 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:49,996 What are you doing? 360 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,414 You want your shelf level or not? 361 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,125 And if I say yes, you're gonna provide that for me with that? 362 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,293 Yes, see the bubble? 363 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,003 I'm familiar with the bubble, morty. 364 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,921 I also dabble in precision, 365 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,965 and if you think you can even approach it 366 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,092 with your sad, naked, caveman eyeball 367 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,595 and a bubble of fucking air, you're the reason this species 368 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,120 is a failure, and it makes me angry! 369 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,097 You're drunk. 370 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,016 You want to put up a shelf, put up a shelf. 371 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,268 You want to experience true level? 372 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,021 - Do you? - [ Sighs dramatically] Y-yes. 373 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,780 [Powering up] 374 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,741 Ugh, all right, come on. 375 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,409 [Sighs] 376 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,916 Wow, it's so... 377 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:39,170 Oh, oh, oh, oh, my god, oh, Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh. 378 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,672 Oh, yeah, true level, bitch. 379 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,008 Morty, come on, we're leaving for school. 380 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,677 Oh, everything's crooked! Reality is poison! 381 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,043 I want to go back! I hate this! 382 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,323 - What's his deal? - Can't live like this! 383 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,015 Shh, shh, shh, shh, morty, morty, morty. 384 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,980 Go to school, summer. I'll go in morty's memory 385 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,435 and do a little... [Clicks tongue] 386 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,813 Lambs to the cosmic slaughter! 387 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,189 Well? 388 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,526 You seem to be in charge of what I get to remember. 389 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,569 - Why? - Good question. 390 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:07,323 Morty, I need darkness to prime these optical inductors. 391 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,700 Hit the leftmost light switch by the door for me. 392 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:10,701 Thelefl. 393 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:14,080 [ Click, click, click] 394 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,627 Okay, lights on. 395 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,003 [Sighs] 396 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,090 So, did I just hear three distinct light switch clicks? 397 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,508 W-W-What do you mean? 398 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,694 I feel like the three sounds I heard could be explained 399 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,513 by an initial erroneous flipping of a switch on the right 400 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,473 followed by a hasty, corrective flipping 401 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,641 of the requested switch. 402 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,436 Then during the resultant darkness and silence, a third, 403 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:39,522 shameful unflipping of the initially flipped switch. 404 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,441 Is my assessment accurate? 405 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,902 Yeah, that's... that's basically how... how it all shaked out. 406 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,156 - I'm sorry. - Ugh. All right, come on. 407 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,450 - What?! - Come on! 408 00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:59,250 [High-pitched tone] 409 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,132 - [ Click, tone ends] - Grab a shovel. 410 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,383 W-What is... 411 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,510 Grab a shovel! 412 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:11,679 [Click] 413 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,264 What was that? 414 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,352 I can't find a goddamn zip tie anywhere! 415 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,605 All right, fuck it! 416 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,231 [ Beeping ] 417 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,026 [Magnetizing] 418 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,861 Ahh, zip tie. 419 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,405 [ Powering down] 420 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,868 [ Beeping ] 421 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,411 [Magnetizing] 422 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,247 [Women screaming] 423 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,689 Why are you making me do this for you again? 424 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,090 Who doesn't wish they could talk to animals, Rick? 425 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,467 Most humans! 426 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,469 There, I'm done. Just stay out of trouble! 427 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,263 Gotta keep moving. Can't stop. 428 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,432 Up, down, down, up, up, up, down, up, stop, down. 429 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,118 The queen needs food. The babies need food. 430 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,685 The queen makes babies. 431 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,188 Male voice: The situation in Argentina 432 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,707 has proven less convenient than predicted. 433 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,983 We'll have to re-destabilize their economy, 434 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,402 refocus labor class outrage from upper to middle, 435 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,488 foster a coup, and install a compliant regime. 436 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,489 Male squirrel: Same as Guatemala? 437 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,894 Yes, but you can double-time it. 438 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,259 We need a quorum to pick a new pope 439 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,827 in case the exxon/monsanto thing falls through in Africa. 440 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,413 Why not use chemtrails? Put a canopy on Uganda. 441 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,332 They're set to agitate any mo... what? 442 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,167 That kid is watching us. 443 00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,877 So, we're squirrels. He's a kid. 444 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,047 He's watching us like he hears what we're saying. 445 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,675 Hey, kid. Young man? Come here, little boy. 446 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,386 Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible dolittle. 447 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:36,347 Little boy! We'll give you wishes if you can hear us! 448 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,391 We can make you fly and get candy. 449 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,851 [Squirrels chittering] 450 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,607 [Whistling] 451 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,985 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Fuck me! Fuck me! 452 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,445 [Panting ] Rick! 453 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,739 Rick: Ah, shit, morty, what did you do? 454 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,534 [Powering up] 455 00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,494 -[ Zap! I -[ Squirrels screeching] 456 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,580 All right, morty, pack your shit! 457 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,808 That's only gonna keep 'em down for a little bit, morty! 458 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,166 You fucked with squirrels, morty! 459 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,501 We got a good five minutes 460 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,420 before they're backing up on our ass, morty! 461 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,672 We have to pack up and move to a new reality, morty! 462 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,258 You know I said we could only do that a couple of times! 463 00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:15,344 We're fucked over here because of these damn squirrels, morty! 464 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,305 I don't know what my reaction is, 465 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,016 but I think I'm mounting in suspicion of you. 466 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,536 - Well, what are you gonna do? - I'm gonna remember everything! 467 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,560 Everything! 468 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,564 - [ Screams] - [Laughs] 469 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:28,399 [Screams] 470 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,524 - [ Farts] - [Laughs] 471 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,487 Yeah! 472 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,870 Ah! 473 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,542 [Crying] 474 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,468 Well, what'd you find out? 475 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,762 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you gonna do, kill me? 476 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,723 No, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill myself! 477 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,516 All those memories just erased! 478 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,226 Sitting in this room collecting dust! 479 00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:07,146 W-What's the point of going on if most of everything 480 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,940 that happens just ends up sitting in here? 481 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,318 All right, kid. 482 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,421 I don't know much aside from the fact that "men in black 2" 483 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:17,573 was a joyless cash grab, but I do know that whatever you have 484 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,950 brewing around in your noggin really connected with you. 485 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,077 I can't deny that, 486 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,621 and I can't deny that I'm inspired by your passion. 487 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,623 I want in. Suicide pact! 488 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,667 - [ Ray gun powers up] - Yes, yeah, let's do it! 489 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,336 Together, you old son of a bitch! On three! 490 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,587 One... 491 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,838 Two... 492 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:36,008 You guys doing morty's mind blowers? 493 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,843 Morty's mind blowers? 494 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,262 [Sighs ] Grandpa, is this a scenario three? 495 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,723 Uh, w-what's that, and w-who are you? 496 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,685 Oh, man, it's a scenario four. 497 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,567 - [ Spits] - [ Dart gun shooting] 498 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,662 Ugh, fucking god damn it! 499 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,580 I don't get paid enough for this shit! 500 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,668 There's a craftsman nearby. I can smell it. 501 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,045 Whoa, what... what... 502 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,170 Can I help you? 503 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,924 H-How did we fall asleep during interdimensional cable? 504 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,777 - Yeah, what the hell, summer? - Summer, you dumb bitch! 505 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,028 How long were we out, you dumb bitch! 506 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,071 How much interdimensional cable did we miss, you stupid bitch! 507 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,989 How many improv TV shows with commercials did we miss, summer? 508 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,116 Why did you let us fall asleep? 509 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,492 - You dumb bitch! - You stupid bitch! 510 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:26,827 All right, morty, fuck this noise. 511 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,412 Let's get out of here and go on a classic 512 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:31,063 - Rick and morty adventure. - Yeah, right, Rick, I'm all-in. 513 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,149 No wonder you're constantly fighting 514 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:34,859 with each other and behind schedule. 515 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,485 - What? - Nothing. 516 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,654 [ Rock music plays] 517 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,264 Rick? Hello? 518 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,849 Just here for my putter. 519 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,435 Jerry's mind blowers? 520 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,732 Follow the boys! 521 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,530 We're charged and aimed at Alpha centauri, 522 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,532 ready for transport. 523 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,951 They fell for it! Let's send gobo home! 524 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,453 - [ Laughter] - All right! 525 00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,538 - Where's dad? - He should be here any second. 526 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,516 It's funny, Jerry spent his life seeking attention, 527 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,709 but in the end, humanity's instinctive dismissal of him 528 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,127 saved an alien's life. 529 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,962 He knows where to go, right? 530 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,881 Yep, any minute now. 531 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:41,133 [Music playing] 532 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,054 Did it work? Did you guys get gobo home? 533 00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:47,460 You have gobo! You were supposed to bring him to the hill! 534 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,141 As if. He was in your basket. 535 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:50,851 He was in your car! 536 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:53,604 [Chewing] 537 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,648 Oh! 538 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,609 Oof! Dibs on his stuff.