1 00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:03,462 News anchor: In local news, 2 00:00:03,587 --> 00:00:05,005 child murderer Joseph Eli lipnip 3 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,025 is scheduled to die tomorrow by lethal injection, 4 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:09,551 his execution already drawing dozens more spectators 5 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,345 than the death of TV news. Carla? 6 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,805 Carla Johnson: The man that once ate his own son... 7 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,725 Wow. He's really getting executed after all this time. 8 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,203 You know the son that he ate was... 9 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:19,102 Your best friend... Tommy. 10 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,771 We know. Stop true-crime bragging. 11 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,314 I was traumatized, summer. 12 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,750 Okay, your generation wouldn't get that. 13 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:26,443 Bitch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast. 14 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,071 It took years of therapy to even process the reality. 15 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,489 I mean, when I was a kid, 16 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,616 I just told myself that Tommy had gotten lost 17 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,910 in the magical realm of froopyland. 18 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,870 - "Froopyland'?" - my make-believe world. 19 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,414 I know the name's stupid, but it was so real to me. 20 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,975 Aren't you guys supposed to be at your father's 21 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,167 for custody weekend? 22 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,294 We're not in a hurry. Dad sleeps until sundown. 23 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,897 Can we talk a little bit more about this froopy... 24 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,232 - [ Zap, bloop] - Summer: Not the bubble gun! 25 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,299 - There's no air... - [ Zap, bloop] 26 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,844 I gotta say, I am warming up to the bubble gun. 27 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,322 You know, if you're so great at naming things, 28 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,639 why don't you do it from now on? 29 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,974 - What? - Froopyland. 30 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,017 Was it my best work? I don't know. 31 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,019 Does it deserve to be shit on creatively? 32 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,020 Yeah, that's right. 33 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,025 I agree with your look of horrified realization. 34 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,483 You can be very inconsiderate sometimes. 35 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,734 - [ Rattling ] - [ Grunting ] 36 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:08,735 Here it is. 37 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,630 You know, I collapsed a quantum tesseract to... 38 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:11,714 Dad, I don't care how you made it. 39 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,338 I want to know if Tommy's still in there! 40 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,884 - Relax, Beth. - [ Jingling, crackling] 41 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,410 If he is, we'll find him. 42 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,078 He'll be the only sun-bleached skeleton 43 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,955 with non-imaginary DNA. 44 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,833 [Dramatic music plays] 45 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:53,654 Tommy! 46 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:54,906 Tommy! 47 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:55,907 This is a nightmare. 48 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,385 I can't believe you used to look me up 49 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,952 in this glorified chicken Coop. 50 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,120 Chicken Coop? 51 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,289 Those are procedurally generated clouds, Beth. 52 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,333 That river is a rainbow. Literally. 53 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,538 Come on, I-I-I put real elbow grease into this place. 54 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,688 Well, you're supposed to put elbow grease into your daughter! 55 00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,547 - Gross. - Do you think something ate him? 56 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,872 Nope. Froopyland creatures were designed to be harmless. 57 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,426 He definitely just starved to death. 58 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,237 I could have been the one who starved to death in here. 59 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,261 What if I'd gotten hurt? 60 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,056 God, you're right. I'm a terrible dad. 61 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,390 Well, nothing to live for. 62 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,267 - Goodbye, cruel world! - Dadl 63 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,227 - [ thump] - Oh, how do you like that? 64 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:27,105 What kind of merciless creator makes the ground bouncy? 65 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,399 I'm gonna have to drown myself. 66 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,067 -[ Thum p -unh! ] 67 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,277 Oh, no. Oh, the water's breathable? 68 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,403 Who went and did that? 69 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,528 Oh, whatever. 70 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,447 Yeah, whatever. 71 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,532 A dad makes a toilet look like r2-d2, 72 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,052 and it breaks the front page of Reddit, 73 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,911 but I'm Charles manson because I gave you 74 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,454 your own world instead of an iPad. 75 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,390 I think the words you're looking for are... aah! 76 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,500 Holy fuck! Shit! This thing has claws! 77 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:48,543 Yeah, I get it. It's a childproof world. 78 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,921 No, no, seriously, this hurts really bad! 79 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,964 This thing is sinking razor-sharp claws in... 80 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,383 Aah! Shit! 81 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,968 - You've made your point, dad. - [ Screeches] 82 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,094 Dad? 83 00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,262 [Popl p0p] 84 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,683 -Ughl -[ Both panting] 85 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,602 Whose idea was this stupid custody weekend thing? 86 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,872 I think it's supposed to help prevent abandonment issues. 87 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,064 I want to be abandoned. 88 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,750 - Yeah, I'm talking about dad. - [Door opens] 89 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,442 Bienvenue a la chez divorced dad. 90 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,777 Wow, dad. 91 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,238 Your place looks way less like a crackhouse. 92 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,949 It's actually clean, like a cocaine house. 93 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,158 Dad, what's going on? 94 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,202 I'm simply centered, activated... 95 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,447 - [ Glass clinks] - [ Warble] 96 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,455 - And telekinetic? - Pretty cool, huh? 97 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,582 Check it out. Who wants a smoothie? 98 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:28,917 [ Rattle ] 99 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,168 [Blender whirring] 100 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,670 Oh... oh, no. Uh, oh, god. 101 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:32,814 Summer... summer, can you... 102 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,964 -Aahl -sorry. 103 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,425 You have much to learn, my uloo. 104 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,678 Morty, summer, this is klara. 105 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,973 She's a krootabulan warrior priestess from krootabulon. 106 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,975 I-I know where krootabulans are from, dad. 107 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,226 Uh, chaimuntolo. 108 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,477 Chaimuntolo, younglings. 109 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,396 Hymen... cholo. 110 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,148 Your father's mind holds love for you. 111 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:53,066 I am humbled to meet in physicality. 112 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,401 Dad, are you... 113 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,320 In love with a badass, sexy alien lady? 114 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,573 Ha, ha, I don't know, summer. You tell me. 115 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,366 I wasn't going to ask if you were in love 116 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,617 since you barely know her. 117 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,620 Summer. Kiara and I met on that interstellar dating service 118 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,057 Rick was always suggesting when your mom and I were together. 119 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,417 And things just kind of clicked. 120 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,418 We must move! 121 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,420 Our reservation is at 7:00. 122 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,255 - [ Whoosh ] - I hate to see her leave, 123 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,258 but I love to watch her phase shift away. 124 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,218 I'm sure you noticed what she has three of, 125 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,596 but guess what she has two of. 126 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,974 - [ Screeches] - Aah! 127 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,100 Oof! 128 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,393 All right, knock it off! 129 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,878 Listen, I've been giving you a pass 130 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,147 because I'm charmed that life finds a way, but... 131 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,690 Aah! All right, you know what? 132 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,234 - [ Ray gun fires] - Ouch! 133 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,736 Oh! Unh! 134 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,613 Ouch! God! 135 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,239 -[ Sizzlin 9 -aah! ] 136 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:42,991 Agh! 137 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,159 [Arm clicks] 138 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,911 Oh, yeah, this place is the safest. 139 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,204 Best dad ever. 140 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,623 Can't you just say, "I admit it, I screwed up"? 141 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,017 Uh, what would be the point of that? 142 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,351 [Chuckling] You can't do it, can you? 143 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,544 You can't just fucking apologize. 144 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,713 Okay, okay, Beth, I'm sorry... 145 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,799 You think you deserve an apology. 146 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,759 - [ Screeches] - Hey, don't look at me. 147 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,445 You let your kid roll around on the floor of a target, 148 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,595 it's gonna get stepped on. 149 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,763 [ Screeches ] 150 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,766 [Whir, zap] 151 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,018 Huh. Well, here's the problem right here. 152 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,270 We've got a bunch of froopyland procedural carbons 153 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,148 all gummed up and mixed in with real human DNA. 154 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,459 Are you saying Tommy survived here 155 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,877 by having sex with froopy creatures, 156 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,337 creating froopy-human hybrid offspring, 157 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,681 and then consuming their proteins, 158 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,173 sustaining himself with an endless cycle 159 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,197 of cannibalistic incest? 160 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,258 It's just a working theory. 161 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,158 Of course, if that's the case, 162 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,963 I expect he'd be worshiped as a kind of god 163 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,496 by a medieval-level society of his least-delicious children. 164 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,082 Halt! You are now prisoners of our exalted ruler, 165 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,375 giver and taker of life, 166 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,293 humper and consumer of mortality, 167 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,771 - dispenser of life... - Yes, if I could interrupt? 168 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,022 We're way ahead of the reveal here. 169 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,422 Yeah, just take us to king Tommy. 170 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,216 I thought warrior priestesses 171 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,009 could only leave krootabulon on a hunt. 172 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,177 Mmm. Thank you, sweetie. 173 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,346 I hope it's not human season. 174 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,975 I'm on earth hunting the varrix. I would never hunt a human. 175 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,102 Your father and I are soul-bonded. 176 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,395 Soulbonded? 177 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,040 Um, does your planet have shorter days, 178 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,023 because you guys are moving kind of fast, no? 179 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,608 [Sniffing] 180 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,695 [Dramatic music plays] 181 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:02,820 [Whoosh ] 182 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:03,864 Go get him, honey! 183 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,074 She's always hunting. [Chuckles] 184 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,719 She probably knew a varrix worked here, 185 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,161 and that's why she said the yelp reviews didn't matter. 186 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,329 Dad, do you understand 187 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,707 how serious krootabulon soul-bonding is? 188 00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:17,294 Uh, gee, morty, I don't know. It's got such a casual name. 189 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,855 If you want to lecture anyone about commitment, 190 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,005 start with your mom. 191 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,507 Oh, my god. Dad, is that what this is about? 192 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,712 Are you rushing into a new thing to get back at morn? 193 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,970 Every weekend, you two have told me to move on. 194 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,597 Move on, like, out of bed. 195 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,682 Like, stop using paper towels for toilet paper, 196 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,976 not move on into a sloppy rebound. 197 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,645 Dad, you need to slow down, rethink this soul bond. 198 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,814 Why don't you just say what you really mean? 199 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,149 You think it's cool 200 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,034 that having sex with her gives me telekinesis 201 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,111 and you recognize she's got a hot bod 202 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,156 like cheetara in "thundercats," but you're grossed out 203 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,783 by her avocado-shaped head and blue skin, 204 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,536 and you think I want to put a bag and a wig on her head. 205 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,414 After all the time and energy I spent 206 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,832 teaching you two about race... 207 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,602 - [ Varrix screams] - You ended up racist. 208 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,335 [Whoosh ] 209 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,503 Soon your world will be rid of varrix. 210 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,464 Tomorrow, we celebrate. 211 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,066 We could take the kids to the water park. 212 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,967 We celebrate with a hunt! 213 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,011 Ooh. You kids want to hunt? 214 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,136 - Yes. - Yes. 215 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,805 [Trumpet fanfare plays] 216 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,600 All kneel for king Tommy! 217 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,852 I'm not kneeling. Suck my dick. 218 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,896 Well, hello, all! 219 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,190 I am the king of froopyland, 220 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,734 but I go by another name, too. 221 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,903 - We know. - It's Tommy! 222 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:25,904 - We know. - We know. 223 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:29,074 I have lived here since I was a mere child. 224 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,200 - We know. - Got it. 225 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:33,870 I suppose you're wondering, how do I sustain myself? 226 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,014 - Oh, boy. - No, we aren't. 227 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:39,376 I always find the theater is the best way to clarify things. 228 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,501 - Ugh. - Seriously? 229 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,420 - Oh, my god. - Tommy: Players, go! 230 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,005 I am little Tommy. 231 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,173 [Crowd cheers] 232 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,050 I am tiny Beth. 233 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,760 [ Crowd boos ] 234 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:49,885 Oh, come on. 235 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,721 Come with me to my magic world. 236 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:52,846 Froopy: Don't do it! 237 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:57,102 This is my secret froopyland where I have no rules! 238 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,728 I am excited. 239 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:02,774 I am jealous of Tommy's friends and his Nintendo 240 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,901 and his dad who likes him. 241 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,153 I take it Tommy wasn't class playwright. 242 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,072 Do you want to see the honey swamp? 243 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,241 Yes! Let's do it! 244 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,368 Well, I want to see you dead. 245 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,370 Ow, help! I'm stuck! 246 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,913 I'm covered in honey. 247 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,456 Huh. Well, that's interesting. 248 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,791 Fake news. 249 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:24,295 Many nights have passed, trapped in this strange land. 250 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:29,467 I am hungry, and all I can do to pass the time is hump. 251 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,178 I will hump this rock. 252 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,015 I will hump this tree. 253 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,852 I will hump this beast of the land 254 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,812 and put my seed in it. 255 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,608 I am the first of Tommy's children. 256 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:49,279 Eat of my flesh so you may survive. 257 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,865 And so I did. 258 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,826 Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. 259 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,162 Certified fresh. Good... good job. 260 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,914 Perhaps a demonstration is in order. [Unzips shorts] 261 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,250 No, that is the last thing that is in order! 262 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,769 - Oh, my god. - Poor froopy character. 263 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,503 - Leave him alone. - [ Shorts zip] 264 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,630 - Ahh. Gather 'round, gang! - [ Moos] 265 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,966 - Dinner time. - [ Splorch ] 266 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,844 All right, that's it. I'm outta here. 267 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,596 What are you doing? 268 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,948 We're in the middle of an adventure. 269 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,692 Here's some things an adventure needs, Beth. 270 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,726 Conflict, stakes, a way for me to benefit, 271 00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:21,144 and, clearly, morty. 272 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,645 But Tommy's still in there, 273 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,481 raping muppets and eating babies. 274 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,046 Yep. Luckily, that's not our problem. 275 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,150 Time to pull the plug. 276 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,485 Pull the plug? 277 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,170 We have to get Tommy out of there, okay? 278 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,672 We... we need to do the right thing. 279 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,976 Do what you never did as a dad... 280 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,449 Put in a little effort. 281 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,676 All right, cut the high-road routine. 282 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,202 We both saw Tommy's shitty play. 283 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,887 You pushed him in the honey swamp, Beth. 284 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,830 His very happy life is in your hands. 285 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,207 You go save him from it. 286 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,732 [Scoffs ] You're gonna believe a play over your own daughter? 287 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,087 Yes, I am, Beth, because you're not my own daughter. 288 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,380 Oh, god, yes. I'm one of infinite beths 289 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,382 with infinite fathers in infinite universes. 290 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,218 It's called a hug, dad. It won't kill you. 291 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,344 Yeah, don't be so sure. 292 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,905 You know why all ricks made a froopyland 293 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,013 for all their little girls? 294 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,338 Same reason I wasn't surprised 295 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,058 by Tommy's overwritten, badly structured, 296 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,559 cheaply produced flashback. 297 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,686 You were a scary fucking kid, man. 298 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,021 [Scoffing ] Oh, my god. 299 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,999 I didn't make froopyland to get rid of you, Beth. 300 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,608 I did it to protect the neighborhood. 301 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,235 Not in a [burps] noble sense. 302 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,040 It was just more practical to sequester you 303 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,447 before I had to start, you know, cloning a replacement 304 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,866 for every less-than-polite little boy or gullible animal 305 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,618 that might cross your socio-path. 306 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,620 You would rather believe I'm evil 307 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,372 than admit that you were a bad father? 308 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:23,497 Oh, dude, no. 309 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,420 No, bad father all the way to the Max over here. 310 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,709 I'm a fucking nutcase. 311 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,670 And the acorn plopped straight down, baby. 312 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,879 Look at some of the shit 313 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,482 you were asking me to make you as a kid. 314 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,674 Ray guns. 315 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,425 A whip that forces people to like you. 316 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:38,346 Invisibility cuffs, a parent trap, a lightning gun, 317 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,932 a Teddy bear with anatomically correct innards, 318 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,727 night-vision googly-eye glasses, sound-erasing sneakers, 319 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,939 false fingerprints, fall-asleep darts, 320 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:51,526 a lie-detecting doll, an indestructible baseball bat, 321 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,280 a taser shaped like a ladybug, a fake police badge, 322 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,658 location-tracking stickers, rainbow-colored duct tape, 323 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:02,453 mind-control hair clips, poison gum, 324 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,414 a pink, sentient switchblade. 325 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,999 Hi, Beth. You've gotten taller. 326 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,250 Shall we resume stabbing? 327 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,418 Has it occurred to you 328 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,812 that I asked you to make those things 329 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,546 because I wanted you to spend time with me? 330 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,132 Has it occurred to you that it! Did try killing Tommy, 331 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,426 it might be because I was jealous of his family? 332 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,343 Wait, what? Why? 333 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,188 Wasn't his dad, like, some kind of cannibal? 334 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,597 Seems like it must be hereditary. 335 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,098 Oh, my god. This is your fault. 336 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,641 I am not a bad person. 337 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:24,893 I'm gonna go back in there. 338 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,145 I'm getting Tommy, and I'm fixing this! 339 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,815 Whatever you say, stone cold Steve Austin. 340 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,275 I don't know why I just said that. 341 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,736 Doesn't make a lot of sense, but gotta stand by it. 342 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,197 Whatever you say, stone cold Steve Austin. 343 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,489 I'm owning it. 344 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,202 [Ax swings] 345 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,288 Morty: No, dad! You're not doing it right! 346 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,332 Cutting off their heads isn't doing it right? 347 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,626 They're [grunts] clearly regenerative! 348 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,231 I-I think you have to stab them through the heart or something. 349 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,337 You think or you know? 350 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,965 I thought you were the alien expert, Isaac asi-hole. 351 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,800 Don't snap at me! I'm tired! 352 00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,510 - Me, too! - We're all tired! 353 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,346 [Ax swings] 354 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,014 - [ Whoosh ] - [ Grunts] 355 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,557 That's the last of them. 356 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,100 Tonight, we celebrate. 357 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,227 With a hunt? 358 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,647 Yes, for tomorrow, we hunt. 359 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,611 - [ Rain trickling] - [ Clears throat] 360 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,991 I, uh, really have to get out of this soul bond. 361 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,676 - What the fuck, dad? - Oh, my god! Duh! 362 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,762 - Obviously! - Yeah, no kidding! 363 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,496 - Can you guys help me? - What? How? 364 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,957 Can I just, uh, tell her it's because of my kids? 365 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,501 You know, like, you don't like the shape of her head, or... 366 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,628 That's you, dad! That's you! 367 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,505 You're a baby and an idiot! 368 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,757 I think that's been established, summer. Now help me! 369 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,133 First, I want you to admit 370 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,678 that you're a closet racist, a beta-male sexist, 371 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,763 and you dragged everyone into a horrible situation 372 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,181 by only thinking of yourself. 373 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,182 Okay. 374 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,934 I want to hear you say it. 375 00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,978 [Sighs deeply] 376 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,815 Look, I'm a closeted racist, and I'm sexist and selfish, 377 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,943 and I dragged us all into my sexist, racist bad things 378 00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,653 - because I'm stupid. - Thank you. 379 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,005 Now you're gonna help me, right? 380 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,532 - She just did. - Yeah, clean up your own mess. 381 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,950 Wait, wait, what? 382 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,119 Oh, man. 383 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,180 - [ Trumpet fanfare plays] - Tommy: All right, everybody. 384 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,372 Next item on the docket... 385 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,541 I would like to have sex with some of you 386 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,252 - and then eat the babies. - [ Froopys murmuring] 387 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,417 I thought you'd like that. 388 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,463 I do keep rolling out the hits, don't I? 389 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:18,588 [Bang] 390 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,384 Oh! It's the magic crayon lady! 391 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,928 Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner. 392 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,555 And by "make dinner," I mean... 393 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,308 Tommy, I'm going to take you to the real world. 394 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,892 Well, this is the real world. 395 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,458 No, you don't understand! Your dad... 396 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,229 Uh, people think your dad ate you! 397 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,023 So? You doy-oy! 398 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,399 People should eat people. 399 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,942 Just leave me alone! 400 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,402 Tommy, you don't understand. 401 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,778 I have to make this right 402 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,822 because it's my fault that you're in here. 403 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,033 - I'm Beth. - [ All gasp] 404 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,909 Beth? The destroyer! 405 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,911 Oh, suckitup, puncesslncest 406 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,121 you fell into some honey. 407 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,499 Well, it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey. 408 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,919 I respect your right to believe I pushed you. 409 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,755 Oh, do I get to have that? 410 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,882 Is my reality like a little side of fries... 411 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,426 A little kwanzaa you're willing to slide my way? 412 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,387 Yes, because I'm focused on saving your father's life 413 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,097 because I'm not a petty piece of shit. 414 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,224 So, then, it should be pretty easy 415 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,352 to say, "sorry I pushed you." 416 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,853 Real easy and not necessary, 417 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,622 since you coming home will save your dad's life 418 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:16,773 whereas nothing is changed 419 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,858 by anyone stroking your batshit-crazy ego. 420 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:19,650 Sorry, forgive me. 421 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,611 Uh, I've been in froopyland for quite a while. 422 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,279 Have apologies changed? 423 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,907 Tommy, I'm sorry you think you deserve an apology. 424 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,200 Oh, my god. I'm my father. 425 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,994 Uh, will someone just kill this b-word? 426 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,430 [ Froopys muttering threateningly] 427 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,622 [Grunts] Hi-ya! 428 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:35,041 Oh, my god. I'm my father! 429 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:36,334 - 0 -ya! - Oh! Froopy! 430 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,585 [Screams] 431 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,670 - Switchblade: Born to stab! - Together: Ooh! 432 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,299 And that's why one pussy plus two pussies 433 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,176 makes a bunch of pussies. 434 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,404 Come on, y'all, I'm trying to make this 435 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,263 appealing to your sex-addicted lifestyles. 436 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,849 Hi. I need to pull morty out of school. Come on, morty. 437 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,726 Ha! You heard your daddy, morty. 438 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,269 You have to leave school. 439 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,896 Wait, what are my values? 440 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,707 - Dad, what's going on? - We're going to Alaska. 441 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,441 - What? Why? - It's nice there. 442 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,669 Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn't take it well, 443 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,962 and she wants to murder you two. 444 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,613 What? Th-then why are we walking? 445 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,924 I'm walking because I'm tired. 446 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,175 You guys should definitely run. 447 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,034 - [ Whoosh ] - [ Screams] 448 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,078 - [ Thud ] - Excuse me, I just... 449 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,080 You know what? I'm... I'm just gonna go left. 450 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,790 No, okay, your left, that's fine. 451 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,876 Do you know what left is, 'cause... ugh! 452 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,170 What does your breakup have to do with us? 453 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,922 Yeah, we chose mom hands down. 454 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,775 I thought we made that clear at the lawyer's office 455 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,135 and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook. 456 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,011 - [ Crash ] - [ Tires squeal] 457 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,888 She kind of blames you guys for the breakup. 458 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:31,889 - Why? - Why? 459 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,599 Because I told her it was your fault. 460 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:34,517 - What?! - What?! 461 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,519 Look, I'm not an evil person. 462 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,479 I'm just not very imaginative! 463 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,690 [Warbling] 464 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,234 - [ Grunts] - [ Metal twisting] 465 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,403 -Ohl -[ All scream] 466 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,071 Rick: J“ doo-doo butt j“ 467 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,157 j“ doo-doo-doo... doo-doo butt j“ 468 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,491 - no. - [ Jingling] 469 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,493 J“ doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt j“ 470 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,704 - hey. - Hey. 471 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:58,624 Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, 472 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,668 if you were to make a clone of Tommy, 473 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,153 what would you need to get started? 474 00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,880 I don't kn... Tommy's DNA? 475 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,673 Okay, 'cause he, um... 476 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,884 Yeah, he didn't want to come back, 477 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,386 so, um, he gave me this. 478 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,054 He gave you his finger? 479 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,389 Uh, well, what happened is... 480 00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,475 - It's okay. It doesn't matter. - Okay. 481 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,059 This'll take about three hours. 482 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,561 Okay. 483 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,396 Hey. You want to help? 484 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,398 Okay. 485 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,568 -J“ doo j“ -j“ I got a doo-doo in my butt j“ 486 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,697 -j“ doo-doo-doo-doo j“ -j“ and I don't know what to do j“ 487 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,908 j“ with the doo-doo in my butt j“ 488 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:36,412 j“ but I know that a father should say to you j“ 489 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,748 -j“ that he's proud of you j“ -j“ doo j“ 490 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:41,709 j“ every daughter is a doo-doo from a father's butt j“ 491 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,254 j“ biologically speaking, the butt is a nut j“ 492 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,466 j“ and every father fathers wrong j“ 493 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,151 -j“ ooh j“ -j“ and there isn't a song j“ 494 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,011 j“ that can change that j“ 495 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,515 I am wiped out. I guess I'll turn in. 496 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,640 Cool. 497 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,850 Dad? 498 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,020 I feel like I've spent my life 499 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:04,690 pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you. 500 00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:06,359 And the ugly truth has always been... 501 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,903 That I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me. 502 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,239 Am I evil? 503 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,907 Worse. You're smart. 504 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,284 When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. 505 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,453 And I've never met a universe that was into it. 506 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,996 The universe is basically an animal. 507 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,498 It grazes on the ordinary. 508 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,625 It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, 509 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,460 - not unlike your friend Timmy. - Tommy. 510 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,045 Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. 511 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,148 You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, 512 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,465 take reality for a ride, 513 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,190 but it'll never stop trying to throw you. 514 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,426 And, eventually, it will. 515 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,136 There's no other way off. 516 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:37,682 Dad, I'm out of excuses to not be who I am. 517 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,643 So who am I? What do I do? 518 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,270 My advice... take off. 519 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,689 Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out. 520 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,814 I can't do that. 521 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,483 The kids, Jerry, my job, 522 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,670 and, as much as I hate to admit it, abc's "the bachelor." 523 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,946 I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, 524 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,657 with all your memories, an exact copy in every way. 525 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,325 It'll love and provide for the kids, 526 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,662 do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV 527 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,164 on the same allegedly ironic level as you. 528 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,475 You could be gone a day, a week, 529 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,751 or the rest of your life with zero consequences. 530 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,145 The moment you decide to come back, 531 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,422 I flip a switch, and the clone's job is done. 532 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,340 It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, 533 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,759 and has zero chance of going "blade runner." 534 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,638 If nothing matters, why would you do that for me? 535 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,182 I don't know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. 536 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,268 Or maybe it makes you matter. 537 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,394 Maybe I love you. 538 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,705 Maybe something about your mother. 539 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,564 Don'tjump a gift shark in the mouth. 540 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,608 I don't know if I can do it. 541 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,568 Then stay and luxuriate in a life 542 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,361 you can finally know you've chosen. 543 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,780 My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, 544 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,741 you're finally gonna chill the fuck out. 545 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,332 Okay. 546 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,542 I know what I want to do. 547 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,667 [Whoosh ] 548 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:48,502 Aah! 549 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,628 - [ Thud ] - Ow! 550 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,131 You can't run forever! 551 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,716 Summer: She's really pissed off. 552 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,217 Jerry: I know. It's kinda hot. 553 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,552 Shut up! 554 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,888 The hunters! They're back! Run! 555 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,616 - We're not hunters. - We want to hide with you. 556 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,224 We're not hiding. We're nesting. 557 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,225 Ooh la la. 558 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,560 [All scream] 559 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,897 The children must be destroyed so that we can be together. 560 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:11,400 You need to break up with her, dad... properly! 561 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,319 - [ Whoosh ] - God damn it, dad! 562 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:15,404 [Grunts] Dump her! 563 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:16,405 Okay, okay. 564 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,574 Kiara, let's just run away. 565 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:19,408 - Dad! - Come on! 566 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,576 Just rip the band-aid off! 567 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,701 Okay! 568 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,163 Klara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists 569 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:27,083 who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. 570 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,377 If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, 571 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,378 it's me. 572 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,463 I'm the one who wants to break up. 573 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,758 I... I'm not an evil person. 574 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,426 I'm lazy, I'm cowardly, 575 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,553 and... and I do not know what I'm doing. 576 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,931 Look, I got someone pregnant at 17. 577 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:44,100 We're getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. 578 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,227 I was excited to date someone cool 579 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,355 because it would make my ex notice me. 580 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,818 I would expect nothing less from humanity... 581 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,654 A selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that... 582 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:59,281 - Kiara? - Trandor! 583 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:00,616 What are you doing here? 584 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,284 Justnhunfing. 585 00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,869 Do you really expect me to believe 586 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,996 it has nothing to do with us? 587 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,623 You knew earth was my domain. 588 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,542 I don't like what you're insinuating. 589 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,627 - Dad, can we go now? - Hold on a second. 590 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,505 I'm starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound. 591 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,340 Dad, you just got handed an ex machina. 592 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,466 You're taking it. 593 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:21,303 Varrix nests spread across 300 galaxies, 594 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,973 and you just happened to pick this planet to hunt? 595 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:27,059 That's gorgon shit... Total gorgon shit! 596 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,310 [Birds chirping] 597 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:30,020 We're home! 598 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,772 - Hey, guys! - What's for dinner? 599 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,315 - How was Jerry's? - The usual. 600 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,651 - Can we have pizza? - Pizza sounds great. 601 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,776 Hey, Rick, did you know my dad was dating an alien? 602 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,905 No. Gross. For the alien. 603 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,700 Aw, crap, I think arnaldo's is closed. 604 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,201 Are you guys sure you want pizza? 605 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,537 [Whoosh ] 606 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,664 Arnaldo's isn't closed in the dimension 607 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,429 where they didn't invent daylight savings! 608 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,169 What would we do without you? I love you, dad. 609 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,920 Love you, too, sweetie. 610 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,757 By the way, that wasn't time travel. 611 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,443 There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. 612 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:00,885 I grabbed them. 613 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,053 [Dramatic music plays] 614 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,251 - [ Beep ] - Hey, Jerry, it's Kiara. 615 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:36,646 Listen, my boyfriend saw those texts you've been sending me, 616 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,130 and he got pretty pissed off. 617 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,632 If he calls you, just ignore him! 618 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:40,633 [Beep] 619 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:41,842 This is carmox. 620 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,527 I have intercepted sexual communications 621 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,221 between you and my new girlfriend, Kiara. 622 00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:47,431 - I am coming to kill you now! - [ Beep ] 623 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,933 Rick: Yo, Jerry, it's the big r. 624 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,060 Uh, I killed that alien that was coming after ya. 625 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:53,437 - Looking out for ya, buddy. - [ Beep ] 626 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:54,831 Hey, Jerry, it's Rick. Don't be mad. 627 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,190 I fucked your ex-girlfriend Kiara. 628 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,375 Kiara: Who are you talking to, Rick? 629 00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,318 - [ Rick: Doesn't matter. - I beep ] 630 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:00,569 Hey, Jerry, this is Michael 631 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,029 down at the antique phone rentals. 632 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,882 Um, I'm gonna go ahead and let you off the hook 633 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,324 for the $70 late fee. 634 00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:06,968 You can go ahead and keep that answering machine. 635 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:08,272 Nobody really uses those anymore 636 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,412 except for exposition on TV shows, anyways. 637 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:11,538 [Click]