1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,379 [Dramatic music plays] 2 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,839 Rick, we did it! We... we got it! 3 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,508 Hurry up, morty. Get in! 4 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:08,967 - Chachi! - Fuck chachi, morty. 5 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,094 - Did you get it? - He helped me escape prison. 6 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,514 Did you get the ultimate cube? 7 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:14,890 Oh, it's purple. 8 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,141 Y-You said it was purple. 9 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,643 I said mine was. 10 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,269 I didn't know they all were. 11 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,480 And now we do, thanks to chichi. 12 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:22,689 Chachi. 13 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,485 So, uh, w-w-when do I get it? 14 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,028 Get what, a hug? 15 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,672 Let's find a planet with a garden hose first. 16 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,156 - A dragon. - A dragon. 17 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,301 You asked me to cut class and fight robots with you. 18 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:34,576 I said, "no." 19 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,970 You said, "millions of lives depend on it." 20 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,496 I said, "I'll do it for a dragon." 21 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,039 You said, "whatever." 22 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,541 I want my dragon. 23 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,042 You know who's into dragons, morty? 24 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,927 Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian. 25 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,004 - I want my dragon. - Let me give you rocket shoes. 26 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,409 Let me give you Wolverine claws. 27 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,174 Let me give you a fucking rocket hat. 28 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,735 Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes, 29 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:51,969 or it'll rip your head off. 30 00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,012 I want my dragon! I want my dragon! 31 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,497 - I want my dragon! - [ Gas hisses] 32 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,225 Oh, crap. [Coughs] 33 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,935 Crap. 34 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,398 Dad, are you okay? 35 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,191 Your ship crashed in Malta. 36 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,734 [Groans] I'm okay. 37 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,487 Oh, thank god. 38 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,364 Dad, did you promise morty a dragon? 39 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,824 Fuuuuuuu... 40 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,952 [Suspenseful music plays] 41 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:46,857 Ugh! 42 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,109 Bleed here and here. 43 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,319 Rick: I'm not co-bleeding. 44 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,112 Under authority of our treaty 45 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,239 'twixt the realms of dragon and man... 46 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,550 Oh, my god, it's my first gay wedding. 47 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:56,867 Summer! 48 00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,827 I hereby bind this noble serpent and rider 49 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,662 at the soul. 50 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,749 Here's your Tome of dragon spells and lore. 51 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,059 That'll have everything you need. 52 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,251 Enjoy your dragon. 53 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,045 Okay, dragon, here's the house rules. 54 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,006 [ Roars] My name is balthromaw, 55 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,717 breaker of sky, slayer of mountain. 56 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,470 Rule one... you are now scooper of your own poops, 57 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:19,473 or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are. 58 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,224 I don't got any more rules. That's it. 59 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,726 [ Door closes] 60 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,579 I'm guessing you'd rather not be tagged in this. 61 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,438 Okay, I'll bite. 62 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:27,856 What's with the talking cat? 63 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,358 It's a dragon, dip knob. 64 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,984 I know that's a dragon. 65 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,779 I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom. 66 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,704 Jerry, why would I give morty a talking dragon 67 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,449 and you a talking cat at the same time? 68 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,076 Those concepts bump. 69 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,928 If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event 70 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,121 unrelated to me like when you went to pluto 71 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,831 or fucked my daughter. 72 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,250 Okay, there's really no need to get savage. 73 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,253 Cat: So? 74 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,981 Eh, he says he has nothing to do with your talking. 75 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,257 - Cat: Told you. - So then why are you talking? 76 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,664 - Cat: Why should that matter? - Why should it not matter? 77 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,762 How do I know I'm not hallucinating? 78 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,722 Rick said this is an abnormal event. 79 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,992 Cat: Do you always need Rick to tell you what's going on? 80 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,935 Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions 81 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,104 and started having fun. 82 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,525 Wow, okay. 83 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,859 So, what do you want? 84 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,504 Cat: I want you to take us to the airport 85 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,905 and get us two first-class tickets to Florida. 86 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,158 Why, I... I can do that. 87 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,494 [Laughing] 88 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,830 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 89 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,416 Oh, this is so cool! 90 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,626 [Sighs] 91 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,964 I await your next command. 92 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,383 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody is commanding anybody. 93 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,761 I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. 94 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,346 W-What do you want to do? 95 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,349 I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard 96 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,185 until the age of man expires. 97 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,311 Okay. 98 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,021 Split the diff? 99 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,941 20-minute nap and soar through the sky? 100 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,443 Ugh. 101 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,278 As you command. 102 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,863 Okay, see you soon. 103 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,239 T-This is fun. 104 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,700 Balthromaw: Yeah, right. 105 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:04,077 What's this show called, "ass"? 106 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,705 Yeah, it's like "bones," but they solve ass crimes. 107 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:07,974 Woman on TV: This ass is a clue. 108 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,124 Are these two gonna hook up? 109 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,293 No, and only the lame fans want that. 110 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,961 Don't tell me how to enjoy things. 111 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,755 - Go to her ass. - That's brenner. 112 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,591 Go to brenner ass. 113 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:18,884 Honeymoon over aheady? 114 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,153 What's that supposed to mean? 115 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,803 Admit it, morty. Dragons suck. 116 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,948 Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy 117 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,808 because you're a sad old fart? 118 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,393 How do you saddle a fart? 119 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,686 Hdyshw loom 120 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:30,971 woman on TV: I love you, ass. 121 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,206 Man on TV: I love you, brenner. 122 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,315 -Shh. 123 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,108 - Ah! - Oh! 124 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,486 And that's the end of the "morty gets a dragon" episode. 125 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,695 Are you gonna slay it? 126 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,156 First off, I always slay it, queen. 127 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,158 - Secondly, yes. - Should I pause "ass"? 128 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,994 Nah, it's kind of boring now that they're together. 129 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,871 [Snoring] 130 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,876 Hey, fuckface. 131 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,629 Will you shut the fuck up or at least roll over? 132 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,756 - [ Groans] - Oh, no, it burns. 133 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,175 Oh, my god. Oh, the fire of... of it all. 134 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,260 Ah, if only I had prepared better 135 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,054 for this terrifying battle by remembering 136 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,181 the only thing dragons are known for. 137 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,065 Careful you don't get heartburn. 138 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,150 I made that Android with a lot of c4. 139 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,860 Oh, I'm sorry. I imbued it with 140 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,613 a remote-controlled explode-y potion. 141 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,323 You have bested me. 142 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,158 I am at your service. 143 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,743 Good to be on the same parchment. 144 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,513 Now, I'm gonna tell my grandson you ran off 145 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:31,665 with a low-flying 747 while you pack up your... 146 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,917 Wait, is this... Why do you have an original 147 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,753 ecto cooler juice box from 1989? 148 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,589 I hoard that which your kind covets. 149 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,634 - Give you 20 bucks for it. - [ Chuckles ] Nice try. 150 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,320 What the hell else are you hoarding down here? 151 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,638 Cha-ching. "Small soldiers" spin pops? 152 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,431 - Don't open that. - I'm not an idiot. 153 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:51,518 Hey, why do you have future's self-titled album on vinyl? 154 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,103 Look closer. 155 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,855 Oh, shit. He signed it. 156 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,731 Closer. 157 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,775 He signed it in Molly and Percocet? 158 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,220 I could spend all night down here. 159 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:03,154 Do you indulge in volcanic fumes? 160 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,740 Is it gonna fuck up my brain? 161 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,535 - No. - I'll do it anyway. 162 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:11,496 Hoo, those were not cheap tickets, 163 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:15,333 but, um, I'm down to clown. 164 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,044 Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk again, uh? 165 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,409 Cat: It's not important, Jerry. 166 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,797 Okay, but why Florida? 167 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,591 Cat: Because they don't ask questions. 168 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,885 They play volleyball, they party, and they have fun. 169 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,553 Right, right. 170 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,804 Cat: You can do this, Jerry. 171 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:31,182 I can do this. I can do this. 172 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,477 Ugh! 173 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,646 Oh, yeah. 174 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,481 Jipe: Hey, Jerry, after this game, 175 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,150 come to my yacht and bring your cat. 176 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,735 You got it, jipe. 177 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,570 I got to admit, you were right. 178 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,375 Cat: I've got to tell you something, Jerry. 179 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,074 This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. 180 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,535 Woman: Oh, gross! Who shit in the sand? 181 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,163 Someone took a small shit in the sand 182 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,165 and buried it with, like, two little kicks 183 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,417 and just left it here like a land mine. 184 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,669 Why and who? 185 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,838 Cat: It was him. 186 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,256 [Booing] 187 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,759 Help! 188 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,844 J“ percocets, yeah, Molly, percocets j“ 189 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,346 j“ percocets j“ 190 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,307 j“ percocets, yeah, Molly, percocets j“ 191 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,683 - [ belches] - J“ mask on j“ 192 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,185 j“ fuck it, mask off j“ 193 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,271 j“ gas gone, never nod off j“ 194 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,778 I'm being summoned by morty. 195 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,655 Yeah. He's, uh, texting me. 196 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,907 Hmm. How are you responding? 197 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,325 Ugh, I tend not to, 198 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,869 or maybe I'll send, like, a popular animated gif 199 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,871 that could be interpreted in almost any way. 200 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:35,997 Brilliant. 201 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,958 I summon thee. 202 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:41,670 I summon thee, balthromaw. 203 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,046 What the hell? 204 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,131 Taylor swift pumping her hands in the air? 205 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,026 - What does it mean when... - It means you're lame. 206 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,260 J“ percocets, yeah, Molly, percocets j“ 207 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,512 j“ percocets j“ 208 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,181 j“ percocets, yeah, Molly, percocets j“ 209 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,182 j“ mask on j“ 210 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,475 j“ fuck it, mask off j“ 211 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,810 [laughs] 212 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,437 J“ gas gone, never nod off j“ 213 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,442 balthromaw: What's the saying? 214 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:08,071 "Orcs work to live. Dwarves live to work." 215 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,280 So dumb. 216 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,675 If there's ever a saying about me, 217 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,909 I'll fly into the fucking sun. 218 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,578 [Laughs] 219 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,415 Oh, you're small for a dragon, Rick. 220 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,917 Well, I sleep on an extra big pile of awesome shit. 221 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,294 Then there will be sayings about you. 222 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,839 Your lessers will hunt you down, 223 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:29,050 and you will be owned or slain. 224 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,678 That's why they call it a dying breed, brother. 225 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,266 Ugh! Ugh! 226 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,101 Oh, god, ugh. 227 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,436 - My soul. - Oh! 228 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,939 I'm... I'm a dragon. 229 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,399 Oh! Ugh, I'm bonding. 230 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,817 I'm bonding too. 231 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,361 - Oh! - Yeah. 232 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,654 What the fuck? 233 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,864 Morty, I can explain. 234 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,032 Stop! 235 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,450 Why are you still doing it? 236 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,326 Why does it feel better now? 237 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,430 I hope it's not because you're watching but don't go anywhere. 238 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,372 How did you find us? 239 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:03,334 We followed the smell of sulfur and skankery. 240 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,670 - Oh! - Oh, yeah. 241 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,964 - Oh, man, ugh. - Morty: Fuck this. 242 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,383 You can take this stupid fake soul-bond contract, 243 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,178 and you can... mm! Ah! 244 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,554 No refunds. 245 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,931 Your dragon soul-bonded with my grandpa. 246 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,392 Oh, my! I am so sorry. 247 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,102 That is a total violation. 248 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,228 Yeah, no shit. 249 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,064 I'll take care of this atonce. 250 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,356 You slut dragon! 251 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,500 - What the fuck? - You slut. 252 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,525 - Chill out, dude. - Slut! 253 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,770 - Okay, that's... - You slut! 254 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,058 - Y-You don't have to... - Slut! 255 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,321 Shame on you! 256 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,046 Shame, you slut! You slutty, slutty slut! 257 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,925 Ow! Why the fuck does it feel like you're whipping me? 258 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,077 Because your soul got tangled 259 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,495 - in a dirty... - Ah! 260 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,621 - Slutty... - Ow! 261 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,997 - Slut soul! - Ow! 262 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,123 - Let's go! - Ow! Ow! 263 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,666 Get to that portal, you slut. 264 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,002 Grandpa, do something, or I will tweet, 265 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,254 and you will be canceled. 266 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,508 Hey, dandruff the great, lighten up and give the kid his dragon. 267 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,801 By whose command? 268 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,052 You have no magic. 269 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,012 Yeah, I know. I have actual power. 270 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,388 Not here, you don't. 271 00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,350 True power looks like this... 272 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,560 Stone monster. 273 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,105 - Stick that up your ass. - Oh, you're done? 274 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,233 I thought the rock monster was here to introduce a physicist. 275 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:13,905 Spinal cord, uh, activate morphine. 276 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,157 Oh, I might be fucked. 277 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,034 Lightning bridge! 278 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,579 Okay, he's gone. Listen up. 279 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,264 There's probably animals in these hills. 280 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,333 If you spare me, I can make your crotch a salt lick. 281 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:29,587 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 282 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,216 Thank you, morty. 283 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,552 Figures you'd be higher status in lame world. 284 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,387 Get your shit together, lair wrecker. 285 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,097 We need to rescue balthromaw. 286 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,100 Morty, the moral of this story is bros before dragons. 287 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,726 You know what I'm talking about? 288 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,437 Yeah, if he dies while you're soul bonded, you die too. 289 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,983 Morty, the moral of this story is bros rescue dragons. 290 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,403 Wizard: Balthromaw, by soul bonding 291 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,155 with multiple riders, 292 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,533 you have violated the treaty between dragon and mankind. 293 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:02,912 The dragonarchy sentences you to hang by the neck until dead. 294 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,706 On the count of three. 295 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,666 One dragonarchy, 296 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,877 two dragonarchy, 297 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,254 2 1/2... I just wanted to make sure... 298 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,339 Three! 299 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,550 - [ Choking ] - Grandpa Rick, what's wrong? 300 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,303 Oh, god. The wizard must have hung balthromaw! 301 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,971 Well, fuck it. Can we go back then? 302 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,973 W-Well, no, no. It takes, like, 78 years 303 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,378 to hang a dragon to death, so... 304 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,143 Aw, man. It's so annoying. 305 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,604 You ever, like, try to swallow a really big vitamin 306 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,105 with no water? Ugh! 307 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,523 You know, like [clears throat] 308 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,317 Really, like, big one, you know, 309 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,403 and it kind of gets, ugh, stuck in your throat? 310 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,808 It's... it's annoying. All right. 311 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,115 Morty, go ahead and activate this golem. 312 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,367 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 313 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,244 [Golem roaring] 314 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,372 [Suspenseful music plays] 315 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,174 Fucking dumb. All right. 316 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,843 Who wants to be infused with, like, uh, unreasonable power? 317 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,970 Oh, can I be, like, a sexy arrow-shooty lady? 318 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:04,140 Yeah, whatever. There's no rules. I don't care. 319 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,100 Morty, you want superpowers? 320 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,061 No, thanks. I'm fine. I've got my book. 321 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,646 All right. Good luck with that. 322 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,272 Let's go. 323 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,815 [Roaring] 324 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,335 Rick: [ Coughs, clears throat] God, it's like... 325 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,502 Have you ever had too much orange juice, 326 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:16,903 or, like, you know how egg yolk 327 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,571 kind of, like, gets in your throat? 328 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,696 Morty: Yeah, we get it. 329 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,782 Come on and hurry. 330 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,325 W-We got to free balthromaw. 331 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,160 - Upsulu... - I got this. 332 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,874 Morty, how's that book working out for you, 333 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,918 you fucking d-d-dumb-ass? 334 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,714 Huh. You know what? You're right. 335 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,633 I could get used to this magic stuff. 336 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,060 There's balthromaw. 337 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,478 Check this shit out. Watch this. 338 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,622 Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't even look. 339 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:52,855 Don't even bother looking. 340 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,691 Just fucking let magic guide your arrow. 341 00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,651 Summer, what the hell are you doing? 342 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,237 - Take this seriously. - Shut the fuck up, morty. 343 00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,507 Stop trying to pretend like magic involves skill or thought. 344 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,676 Summer, make it look like it's coming out of your butthole. 345 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,076 Yeah, yeah. 346 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,078 Ah! 347 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,872 Oh, fuck, my fucking eye, oh! 348 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,667 What in the medieval equivalent of tarnation... 349 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,836 Jesus Christ! 350 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,462 Summer, you fucking idiot! 351 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,423 Power of 12 feet. 352 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,548 Uh, ow, fuck! 353 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,842 I take it all back! 354 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,927 I fucking hate magic! 355 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,639 Ah! 356 00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:28,682 Slut thief! 357 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,810 You're a slut thief! 358 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,563 [Electronic music playing] 359 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,107 Cat: Pretty fun boat, fun people. 360 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:39,444 That's great, not being asked why I can talk. 361 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:43,114 I'm a talking cat, but "who cares why?" Is my point. 362 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:46,284 Well, nice talking to you for no reason. 363 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,746 Jorge, that was a good one, 364 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,598 but do you know what a peanut butter gargoyle is? 365 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:52,832 Nah, what's that? 366 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,792 Dude, it's when you take the chick, 367 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,895 - put her feet on a cathedral... - Sorry to interrupt, guys. 368 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,672 Just want to clarify, are these real sex positions? 369 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,215 Because if they are, 370 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,760 how are they gratifying to the male at all? 371 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,636 And if the goal is to make something up, 372 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:09,724 why not make up something... funnier? 373 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,852 I'm asking too many questions, aren't I? 374 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,228 How ironic. 375 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,314 Get out of Florida, you overthinking cat. 376 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,479 Why don't you go overthink shit up north in Georgia? 377 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,734 All: Hate that cat. 378 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,120 Cat: You got any money for a cab? 379 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,580 Why ask questions? 380 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,290 Why not just have fun? 381 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,792 I deserve that. 382 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,544 Wizard: Attention, citizens of draygon, 383 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,297 a slut dragon has escaped. 384 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:44,675 Anyone caught harboring it is also a slut. 385 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,260 - That's how it goes. - Ow, my eye. 386 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,180 It pains me that you can feel my pain. 387 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,657 Yeah, how about you suck your dick, 388 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,392 which is also somehow my dick? 389 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,812 Aw, why can't couples that start out cheating ever end up happy? 390 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,897 M-Maybe I can find that wizard's portal spell 391 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,315 in here and g-get us home. 392 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,085 How about finding the spell that unbinds me 393 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,318 from your fucking dragon? 394 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,320 Debranavox: No spells can do that. 395 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,489 Only the wizard can unbind soul bonds. 396 00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:07,824 Uh, who the fuck are you? 397 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,617 Who are we? Who the fuck are you, bitch? 398 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,036 Debrah, stop. We are the slut dragons. 399 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,080 We live in these slut caves where we fuck, 400 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,125 suck, and eat butt, and we kindly ask that you leave. 401 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,502 If the wizard knows we are here, he will imprison us. 402 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,003 Yeah! We like it down here 403 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,297 'cause we can fuck woolly mammoths. Get out! 404 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,298 Get the fuck out of here, Michael! 405 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,299 Shut up, Michael! 406 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,300 You're the only one that fucks that thing. 407 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,552 Get the fuck out of here. 408 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,303 Well, at least I'm not into shit play. 409 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,656 - Debranavox: Fuck you! - Morty: Hey, wait! 410 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,181 Everybody stop, stop! 411 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,891 Listen, this is all my fault. 412 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,477 I started all this when I tried to control balthromaw, 413 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,728 and that was fucked up. 414 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,313 Nobody should control anyone, 415 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,857 especially that guy up there. 416 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,359 And, um, you can eat butt if you want, I guess. 417 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:44,670 - I, uh... - I got this, morty. 418 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,279 Okay, listen up, slut dragons! 419 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,197 Wouldn't you rather be sluts up there, 420 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,658 have a fuck world instead of a fuck cave? 421 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,160 What's wrong with you? 422 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,203 This man with a ponytail makes a valid point. 423 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,998 All dragons are sluts deep down, even the ones up above, 424 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,125 but we would have to kill the wizard to be free. 425 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,418 He is too powerful. 426 00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:03,129 There is a way to kill the wizard. 427 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,734 Whoa. Who's this mysterious character? 428 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,424 Shadow jacker, you haven't come out 429 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,217 of your masturbation cave in eons. 430 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:11,554 It's high time I emerge from my cum cocoon. 431 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,848 I grow tired of eavesdropping and masturbating 432 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,099 to the sounds you all make. 433 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,434 Jesus Christ. All right. 434 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:17,661 C-Could use a little more mystery. 435 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,312 Oh, oh, just now seeing the staff. 436 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:22,565 We've never had enough sluts to defeat the wizard. 437 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,109 Now, with the four fresh, wet sluts that 438 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,571 just landed on our doorstep, we finally have a chance. 439 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,740 So killing the wizard will break my soul bond. 440 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:33,075 Yes, it solves all of our problems. 441 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,203 We must begin a 10-slut soul orgy... 442 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,871 Morty: Wait, wait, what? 443 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,373 And become the all-slut slut Phoenix dragon, slut. 444 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,851 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on. 445 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,475 There's got to be something else in here. 446 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,021 There's got to be another way. Just give me a second. 447 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,671 Ihaventread all this yet. 448 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:49,300 [All moaning] 449 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,135 Maybe don't tell your parents we did this? 450 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:55,306 [Moaning continues] 451 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,246 Oh, oh, no. Oh... wait, please, no! 452 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,622 Ice spell! Ice spell! 453 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,707 Oh, god! 454 00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:23,334 That just made it last longer. 455 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,961 Ah, it burns longer! 456 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,004 Ah, I could have died fast! 457 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,510 Thank you, strangers. 458 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,196 Well, it's your world now. Have fun with empowerment. 459 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,156 It seems to make everyone that gets it really happy. 460 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:39,141 All right, guys. I'll use this to open a portal. 461 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,852 Uh, open a portal to earth. 462 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,646 Let's get the hell out of here fast. 463 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,314 God, look at this piece of shit. 464 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,775 Why is there writing on it? Who writes on a portal? 465 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,756 Should've taken me up on those Wolverine claws instead, morty. 466 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,240 Wait, why did the dragon come? 467 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,534 I was thinking we could hang out? 468 00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,536 Oh, yeah. Whoa, Jesus. 469 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,371 Your dad's been texting me this whole time? 470 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,039 Uh, he's at an airport with a cat. 471 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,708 Okay, that... That sounds... wow. 472 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,113 You know, I better check on him. 473 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,727 Big season finale right there, you know? 474 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,379 Better, uh... Better go right now. 475 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,256 Also, I told you not to get a dragon, morty. 476 00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,192 This is your fault. Fuck you, worst adventure ever. 477 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,759 Worst adventure ever. 478 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,679 Yeah, uh, I guess you better be on your way too, balthromaw. 479 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,556 Well, I've been thinking. 480 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:22,101 What you said back there in the cave really resonated with me. 481 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,853 Maybe we could try again? 482 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,414 Look, to be honest, I'm kind of grossed out 483 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,607 with the sexual nature of how everything unfolded. 484 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,525 I didn't know how sexual dragons were. 485 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,902 I kind of just wanted to do some d&d stuff, you know? 486 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,155 And have a soul orgy with your sister and grandpa 487 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,906 and every dragon we could find, yeah? 488 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,908 No, look, can you please just go? 489 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,410 I-I-I really want to shower. 490 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,245 Maybe a quick soul bone before I go. 491 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,538 I-i-i-I'm good. 492 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,903 I think I just need to be alone 493 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,875 and sort of UN... unpack all this. 494 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,209 What about your grandpa? 495 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,628 Would he want to? I can wait. 496 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,046 No, I think you better go. 497 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,756 I-I'm gonna take that shower. 498 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,383 If it's just warm liquid you want trickled over your body, 499 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,819 - I could maybe... - No, no, look. 500 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,178 I just want to be clean! 501 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,239 I-I-I feel dirty after everything that's happened. 502 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,224 How about a quick hand bond? 503 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,077 - I like doing it. - You're embarrassing yourself. 504 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,770 I-i-I'm closing the door. 505 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:08,814 Fucking soul teasers. 506 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,025 Cat: This is a cool car. I like having fun. 507 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,950 That's what I'm talking about. Keep it moving. 508 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,278 Don't ask why I can talk. 509 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,988 - Mm, mm, mm. - Uh-huh. 510 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,532 For sure. For sure. 511 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,076 Cat: Where are we going? 512 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,286 Quantum radiator might need some nanowater. 513 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,288 We... we can stretch our legs. 514 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,877 [ Bottles clatter] 515 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,047 So, uh, why can you talk? 516 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,548 Cat: What is this? 517 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,926 I need you in one spot for a clean mind scan. 518 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,136 Cat: Mind scan? Look, you're overthinking it. 519 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,097 The point of a talking cat is to have fun. 520 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,432 I find the insinuation that I can't ask questions 521 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,101 and have fun condescending. 522 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:46,811 Y-You find it condescending, Jerry? 523 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:47,936 Yes. 524 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,373 Cat: All right. I'm from outer space. 525 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,606 -Happy? 526 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,900 Cat: Exactly, because no answer would be satisfying. 527 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,025 Because it's a lie. 528 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,404 Let's see the truth. 529 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,530 What in the... 530 00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:00,408 [Explosions] 531 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,410 Oh, son of a bitch. 532 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,911 - Jerry, don't. - I want to see. 533 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,955 No, you do not. 534 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,252 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 535 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,587 Cat: At least now maybe... 536 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:14,714 Get the hell out of here! 537 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:15,715 But I've got nowhere to go. 538 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,882 - Get out! - Get out! 539 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:17,883 Get out! 540 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:20,302 [Crying] 541 00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:26,058 [Crying] 542 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:30,396 He was in my home where I keep photos of my parents. 543 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:31,564 Jerry, I have a device. 544 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:32,982 I-It can make us forget. 545 00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:35,776 No, I don't think we should forget, 546 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,319 not this. 547 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,488 Someone has to remember. 548 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,198 Someone will. 549 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,493 Did we crash? 550 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,618 Where's the cat? 551 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,496 He, uh, ran away. 552 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,582 - Did you scan his brain? - Yeah. 553 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:50,987 Did you find out why he can talk? 554 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,835 He's from outer space. 555 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,962 Outer space? 556 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,589 That little... [chuckles] 557 00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,967 Of course, total mind fuck. 558 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,095 [Suspenseful music plays] 559 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,630 Now, that's what I call draggin'. 560 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,423 - What? - It's a joke. 561 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,383 You're a dragon draggin' your stuff. 562 00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:42,927 I understand. 563 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,762 So, how you doing? 564 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,847 I grow weary of you humans. 565 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,183 How about 50 bucks? You weary of 50 bucks? 566 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,726 I'm trying to cheat on my wife. 567 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,771 I'm looking for a little magic, a little fantasy. 568 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,915 You could use some help. Let's help each other, huh? 569 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:55,981 50 bucks. 570 00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:58,484 [ Roars] 571 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,152 Slut! 572 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,987 Cat: Nice. 573 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,489 Is there a reason you can speak? 574 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,242 Yeah, and I'm ashamed of it. 575 00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:08,744 Then speak of it no more. 576 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,831 Do you wish to eat, maybe bond a little? 577 00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,833 Cat: Yeah, I could bond. 578 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,835 How long does it take you to fly to Florida?