1 00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:05,797 [Rat squeaking] 2 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:11,887 Oh, shit, I almost parked. 3 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,139 Hey, morty, hold on, wat-watch this. 4 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:22,731 Uh-huh. 5 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:23,982 Well, I thought it was cool. 6 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,526 80. We should be in and out. 7 00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,212 Simple exchange, not even really an adventure. 8 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,154 And if anything goes wrong... Which it won't... 9 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,948 Jump into the same vat of acid ijump into. 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:32,574 Okay. Wait... wait, what? 11 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,179 - Wha-what vat of acid? - What, morty! 12 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,410 Close the door. 13 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,079 I pre-scouted this location 14 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,723 and placed a vat of fake acid amongst the real ones. 15 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,040 It's got air hoses 16 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,518 and a compartment of bones at the bottom. 17 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,168 If things go wrong, which they won't, 18 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,753 we jump into the vat of acid, 19 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,272 and I'll release the bones, they'll float up... 20 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,798 What is this face you're making? 21 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,508 Aren't you an inventor? 22 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,486 Yeah, what part of a fake acid vat with built-in air supply 23 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,804 and quick-release bones isn't inventive enough for you, 24 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,973 and when did my job become pitching you ideas? 25 00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,975 Alright! Let's just do this. 26 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,328 - I have English homework. - You're still learning English? 27 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:01,979 That's the language you speak. 28 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,981 How dumb are you? 29 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,403 Interesting choice of meeting place, Rick. 30 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,196 You like it? My grandson had notes. 31 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,323 - Come on. - Show him the crystals, morty. 32 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,372 I'll make lots of money with these. 33 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,857 I'll make lots of those with these. 34 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,518 - Well. Those are fake. - Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. 35 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,686 - Come on. - You gotta be kidding me. 36 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:25,794 Seriously? 37 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,319 You brought fake crystals and a gun? 38 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,089 Beats real crystals and no gun. 39 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,134 Okay, but does anything beat fake crystals and a fake arm? 40 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,052 Whoa, do you know who I am?! 41 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,179 Even if you kill me, you're a dead man. 42 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,431 Are you serious? 43 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,849 Morty, he's right. We're screwed. 44 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,601 Let's just end it. Quick death, come on. 45 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:43,770 Aw, man. Oh! 46 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,355 Eh! 47 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,858 Holy shit, what the fuck? 48 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,658 Holy shit. 49 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,410 What kind of psycho...? 50 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,120 His own grandson? 51 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,349 Ch u rn k: Guess he took your threat pretty serious. 52 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,625 Schlarbo: Yeah, but it just... 53 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,251 Doesn't make any sense. 54 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,211 Nargles: Well, he was a scientist. 55 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,880 Maybe he knew more about acid, 56 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,466 maybe it's like the most painless way to go. 57 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,676 Schlarbo: How could that have been painless? 58 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,304 You saw that pause before the bones floated up, 59 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:20,265 that had to be five seconds of unparalleled torture. 60 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,559 I... I can't get my head around it. 61 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:26,063 I-I thought I'd seen this galaxy at its darkest. 62 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:29,274 This is... this is gonna take a while to feel normal. 63 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,002 Nargles: We're pretty good listeners, boss. 64 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,746 Drinks are on us if you want to talk it out. 65 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,112 Schlarbo: Thanks, but... 66 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,657 What happened, it happened here. 67 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,009 I don't want to lose the moment. 68 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,409 Narg les: Take your time, boss. 69 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:40,845 We'll stay here as long as you want. 70 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,205 C h u rn k: Absolutely. I got nowhere to be. 71 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,333 [Dramatic music plays] 72 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,951 Schlarbo: And then little Tommy flimflam's 73 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,911 running down the hyperloop. 74 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,706 His ass is on fire from xenon fluid, 75 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,709 but his ai hologram is fuckin' his own pee hole. 76 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,335 [Laughs] 77 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,587 - Great story, boss. [ Chuckles] - Really detailed. 78 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,715 Yeah, well, I got a million of 'em. 79 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,717 Schlarbo: Alright. 80 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,069 I think I'm ready to deal with the world now. 81 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,219 Let's get out of here. 82 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,738 Nargles: Should we drop our buddy in here 83 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:41,762 before we go? 84 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,199 Schlarbo: Yeah, probably a good idea. 85 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,933 Nargles: Should we use a different vat? 86 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,144 Does acid lose its acid power the more it dissolves? 87 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,603 Churnk: What am I, an acidologist? 88 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,147 Here, grab that ratlike creature, 89 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,358 we'll do a little test. 90 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,002 Schlarbo: Look, if you're going to test the damn acid, 91 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,319 don't use a rat, 92 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:57,779 take that ladle, grab a spoonful, 93 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,906 and put it in the analyzer. 94 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,411 - Oh! - Hey! 95 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:08,123 Okay, I'd say that's pretty acidy. Drop him in. 96 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,001 Schlarbo: What are you doing? 97 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,478 - Churnk: You said... - Schlarbo: Not the rat! 98 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,754 The guy! 99 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,756 Nargles: Ooh! Marone! 100 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,799 Look at the size of the bones on that rat! 101 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,217 Churnk: Oh! 102 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,886 How many sets of bones this rat got? 103 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,822 Nargles: And look how the smaller ones are shaped! 104 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,389 They're like little cartoon bones, 105 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,558 like if you drew a bone in art class! 106 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,851 Alright, that tears it. 107 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,394 I'm canceling the rest of my night 108 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,937 and calling a bone scientist. 109 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,331 We're getting to the bottom of this... 110 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,316 Jesus fucking Christ, enough already! 111 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,734 - Hey! - Whoa! 112 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,487 [Indistinct shouting] 113 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,754 Can we go? 114 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,424 The fuck is wrong with you? 115 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,884 Just admit it was a shitty idea! 116 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,219 Having a grandson? 117 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,845 A vat of fake acid! 118 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,222 Are you dying of dementia? 119 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:06,574 How are you talking to me like this? 120 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,933 Wh-when did you get so cocky? 121 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,434 Tonight! Tonight, Rick! 122 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,769 The night I saw you fail! 123 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,654 - Because you ruined it! - It was pre-ruined! 124 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,439 Oh, was it worse than when I was a pickle? 125 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,334 Oh-oh-oh that's right, you weren't there for that. 126 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,818 Turned out kind of cool. 127 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,545 - Maybe there's a connection there. - Excuse me? 128 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,449 What's that cool thing you did without me again? 129 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,697 The awesome thing? 130 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,658 Lliguess you wanted a dragon? 131 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,076 Mwah. Unforgettable. 132 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,369 God, fuck you. 133 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,930 Timely, too, you really got in on that 134 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,473 "game of thrones" fever right at the peak. 135 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,391 You trying as hard as you can to hurt me right now 136 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,708 proves my point. 137 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,354 I'll let you know when you have a point 138 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,462 and the world will know when I try to hurt you. 139 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,090 Big man, big genius. Big lonely drunk. 140 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,259 Hey, save some of these atomic-age beatnik zingers 141 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,177 for your English homework, bukowski. 142 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,056 There's no such thing as a bad idea, morty. 143 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,016 It's about execution. 144 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,520 No such thing as a bad idea? 145 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,272 Except all of mine, right? 146 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,274 Morty, wanting a dragon isn't an idea. 147 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,608 I'm not talking about that! 148 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,694 I'm constantly pitching you ideas, Rick, 149 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,380 and you act like they're not even worth thinking about! 150 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,822 What, the helicopter lawn chair? 151 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,365 That's just something you saw on TV. 152 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,951 What about my video-game-style place-saving device? 153 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:11,288 Oh, my god, here we go. 154 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,498 It's a good idea, Rick! A device that lets you... 155 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,017 Save your place like in a video game 156 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,602 but in real life so that you can try stuff 157 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,020 and then go back to your save point, 158 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,713 yes, morty, I saw it on "futurama." 159 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,774 Oh, so you don't do anything unless it's original? 160 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,341 I don't do time travel. 161 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,027 It's not time travel, it's saving a place in time... 162 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,137 Oh, my god, is this what you think I do? 163 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,342 This is where the heavy lifting happens in your mind? 164 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,950 Do you have any idea how much fucking work 165 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,410 would have to go into a machine that... 166 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,185 Ah-ha! You can't do it! 167 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,730 I can do anything, morty. 168 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,648 Your idea is not worth doing. 169 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,191 You can't do it. 170 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,253 Before what you're trying to do was called "negging," 171 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,945 it was called "reverse psychology," 172 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,364 and incels didn't invent it, bugs bunny did. 173 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,075 - You can't do it. - There is nothing I cannot do. 174 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,219 A place-saving video-game thing! 175 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,244 You're a piece of shit! 176 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,849 - Just say you can't do it! - I won't! 177 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,164 You won't say you can't? 178 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,540 - Fuck you, morty! - Fuck you! 179 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,751 Fuck you! [Grunts] 180 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,461 Son of a bitch. 181 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,592 - So are you gonna... - Yes, I'm gonna fucking do it! 182 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,887 Rick, it's 3:00 am. 183 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,889 Wh-wh-what's going on? W-Why'd you call me? 184 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,724 You were right, morty. [Sighs] 185 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,267 I failed. I can't make it. 186 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,936 And honestly, I'm pretty ashamed. 187 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,830 That might be why I've been so aggressive and unfair 188 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,105 about rejecting your ideas. 189 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,107 - Rick... - A fake acid vat, morty? 190 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,109 Maybe I've lost it. Maybe I never had it. 191 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,004 Hey. C'mon. Y-You know I didn't mean it that way. 192 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,131 I just think we need to find better ways to communicate. 193 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,823 I'm sorry. I just... I lash out sometimes. 194 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,201 I-I-I don't know why I do that! I'm so ashamed of myself. 195 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,553 Hearing you talk about the vat... 196 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,037 It really opened my eyes. 197 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,389 Like what the fuck am I even doing? 198 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:36,641 Hey. Hey. I don't like hearing this talk. 199 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:37,832 You're a great inventor. 200 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,435 We just got a couple things to work on. 201 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,179 Let's start with inventing a little honesty. 202 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,252 Sound good? 203 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,546 Thank you, morty. Sounds good. 204 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,024 - Or maybe I'll just kill you. - What? 205 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,883 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Rick... 206 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,138 - Because I fucking did it! - Oh-ho-ho! 207 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,682 - Booya! - Holy shit! 208 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,933 You did it! You did it! 209 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:55,934 I did it, you little son of a bitch! 210 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,185 -How did you... 211 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,579 Morty, do you want me to explain, 212 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,081 - or you wanna go have some fun? - I wanna have some fun! 213 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,356 Oh, my god. 214 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,149 Rick, this is... This is... thank you! 215 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,554 You can thank me later. Go nuts. 216 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,777 Best grandpa ever! 217 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,404 That's all I ever wanted to hear. 218 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,406 [Bell rings] 219 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,116 Alright, class, 220 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,885 I know I've been absent for most of this school year. 221 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,749 I'll be honest with you... During spring break, 222 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,496 iaflended a renaissance faire 223 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,749 and fell in love with a buxom hand-axe juggler half my age. 224 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,626 I overplayed my interest in her lifestyle 225 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:22,961 just to get closer to her, 226 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,754 traveling the country with her troupe, 227 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,507 and I am embarrassed to say I am now an expert blacksmith 228 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,759 with several stds and a broken heart. 229 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,386 I beseech your nasty little asses 230 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,179 to speak on the matter no further. 231 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,765 Now that that's out of the way, who wants to do some math? 232 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,934 - I'll do it. - A bold move, morty Smith. 233 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,227 But can you deliver? 234 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,812 Oh, I've got something to deliver. 235 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,939 Ahh! Oh, god. 236 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,274 What the hell! 237 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,026 Aw, goddamnit, this is traumatizing. 238 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,153 Oh, my god, what's wrong with your dick? 239 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,238 - Not cool. - I'm allergic to sheepskin! 240 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,741 Bold move, morty Smith. But can you deliver? 241 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,367 Holy shit. I can do anything. 242 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,411 Yes, with math, anything is possible. 243 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,180 Except a long-term relationship with a woman 244 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,707 that calls you a warlock for using a phone. 245 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:03,585 [Bell rings] 246 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,462 Hi, uh, hey, Jessica. 247 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,505 Oh. Hey, morty. 248 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,593 Hey... Jessica, right? 249 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,887 Um. Yeah. Hi. Sorry. 250 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,180 I thought you knew my name 251 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,699 because we've interacted so many times, 252 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,683 but maybe I was just being stupid. 253 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,019 Sorry. Hi. I-I'm Jessica. That's me. 254 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,270 Cool. See you around. 255 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,813 Jessica. Yeah. I hope I see you. 256 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,815 - Around. - Guess we'll see. 257 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,525 [Squeals] 258 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,194 I think I'm gonna like this thing. 259 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:34,824 J“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 260 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:39,037 j“ it comes and it goes j“ 261 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:44,626 j“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 262 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,837 j“ boy, don't you know j“ 263 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:54,052 j“ and if you lie, you will lose it j“ 264 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:58,056 j“ feelings will show j“ 265 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:03,645 j“ so don't you ever abuse it j“ 266 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,357 j“ don't let it go j“ 267 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,818 [screams] 268 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,861 Oh shit! Suicide by cop! 269 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,446 I love these! 270 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:17,992 J“ nobody's weak until somebody's strong j“ 271 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,661 you're living too fast, morty. 272 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,663 I don't pay for your friendship, heroin Keith. 273 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,164 Damn. 274 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,251 J“ nobody's lonely until somebody's gone j“ 275 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:31,589 j“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 276 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:35,927 j“ it comes and it goes j“ 277 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:41,683 j“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 278 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,894 j“ boy, don't you know j“ 279 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:51,109 j“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 280 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:55,530 j“ it comes and it goes j“ 281 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,950 j“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 282 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:07,292 [upbeat music playing] 283 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:59,344 [Dramatic music plays] 284 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:53,648 [Soft piano music plays] 285 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:04,635 [Upbeat music plays] 286 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:21,694 J“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 287 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:25,865 j“ it comes and it goes j“ 288 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:31,120 j“ it's in the way that you use it j“ 289 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:35,124 j“ boy, don't you know j“ 290 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:40,713 j“ and if you lie, you will lose it j“ 291 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:44,884 j“ feelings will show j“ 292 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:50,556 j“ so don't you ever abuse it j“ 293 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:55,353 j“ don't let it go j“ 294 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,896 j“ nobody's right j“ 295 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,148 [bell rings] 296 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,733 Oh, hi, Jessica. 297 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,211 Hey, I'm sorry I brushed you off the other day. 298 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,694 I was just trying to be cool... 299 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,297 Oh, I don't even know what you're talking about. 300 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,156 But... you seem different. 301 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,561 Like you finally found yourself. 302 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,159 Yeah. I... I guess I have. 303 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,620 That's good to hear. I like who you found. 304 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,539 Yeah. Yeah, I do, too. 305 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,874 Looking forward to seeing more. 306 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,167 I'll see you tomorrow, morty. 307 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,545 Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. 308 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,301 How's it going? 309 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,803 Y'know, it was fun, Rick. Real fun. 310 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,638 Y'know I-I-I definitely sowed those oats. 311 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,973 But I think you invented 312 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,933 a little lesson for me along the way. 313 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,494 Living without consequences is great, 314 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:36,769 but then I started wondering... 315 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,146 What am I living for? 316 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,730 What am I building? 317 00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,583 If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. 318 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,859 And then it hit me. 319 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,153 We are who we are because of consequences. 320 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,405 You can't live without consequences, y'know? 321 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,698 You feel me? 322 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,992 [Slurps ] Wow. 323 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,744 That's a beautiful thought, morty, but, uh, no. 324 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,496 There were definitely consequences. 325 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,932 What're-what-what are you talking about? 326 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,791 I mean. You did everything you did. 327 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,084 It all happened. 328 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,520 No. But the... the respawn button. 329 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,588 - The... the do-over. - It's not a do-over. 330 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,506 You just did it. Over and over. 331 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,216 What are you saying? W-What did you do? 332 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,403 I think it's more appropriate to ask what did you do? 333 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,155 You see, morty, you weren't saving your place 334 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,388 and going back. 335 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,973 I don't respect time travel. 336 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,642 If "ant man and the wasp" can do it, I'm not interested. 337 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,019 It wasn't so much a do-over 338 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,413 as it was isolating a moment in time, 339 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,813 splitting your probable selves, 340 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,708 and shunting you into to into a near-duplicate, 341 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:25,234 equally probable reality, transporting you into it 342 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,069 at the moment of parallel determination. 343 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,447 Pretty nifty. Time crystals are a bitch and a half, 344 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,325 but the only real hitch is that there was already a you 345 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,618 in each probable dimension. 346 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,369 So we had to solve for that. 347 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:40,666 [ Screaming ] 348 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,084 That's right, you little bitch! 349 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,050 It's "the prestige"! You "prestige'd" yourself! 350 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,130 - Rick, how many did I kill? - You tell me, morty. 351 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:48,341 Every time you reset to smell Jessica's hair, 352 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,718 every time you relived a satisfying fart, 353 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,483 that's how many mortys you've incinerated, 354 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,888 you greedy little junkie. 355 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,973 Oh, god... Even those times when I... 356 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,850 Especially those times. 357 00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,727 - It's over, morty. Feel this. - [ Crying I 358 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,354 take this in. This is god. 359 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,272 Wh-wh-wh-wh... Why would you do this? 360 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,691 My hands are clean, morty. I gave you a choice. 361 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,193 You could listen to me explain, 362 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,654 in great scientific detail, how it all works... 363 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:10,905 Or you could have fun. 364 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,156 Did you have fun, morty? 365 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,824 Is this because of the vat? 366 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,493 - No. - I'm sorry. 367 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,054 I'm afraid it's too late for that, morty. 368 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:19,247 What's done is done, but it can end. 369 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,290 The original split is still timestamped. 370 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,584 I can make it so those mortys never existed at all, 371 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,869 make them purely theoretical. 372 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,212 Oh, god. What do I do? 373 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,817 I think it's clear you've done enough. 374 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,174 Tell me how, Rick! Tell me how I save those mortys! 375 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,527 You live with the consequences. 376 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,831 Those things happened somewhere, 377 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,679 but you can merge the probable realities 378 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,389 so that only one morty did them. 379 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:37,640 Just do it. 380 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,141 Alright, lemme just sync these up 381 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,619 and get you back to your dimension. 382 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,478 Wait, so... so you're not even my Rick? 383 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,122 Then... then why do you know about the vat? 384 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,314 Every Rick has a vat! 385 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,944 [Screaming] 386 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,658 [Slurps] 387 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,034 Well, morty, I'd say 388 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,328 we've invented a little honesty today. 389 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,889 - How about you? - I don't deserve this. 390 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,039 I was just having fun. 391 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,332 So was Jeffrey dahmer. 392 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,334 Speaking of, time to pay the Piper. 393 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,211 [Tires screech, siren wails] 394 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,922 Morty Smith. 395 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,341 Come out with your hands up, you sick fuck. 396 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,135 We're also fine with just shooting you 397 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,886 if you wanna suicide by cop. 398 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,138 What? What is this? 399 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,598 Wow. Looks like a SWAT team, 400 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,016 some drug dealers, 401 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,935 some grassroots metoo activists, the aclu... 402 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,687 Jesus, morty, the aarp? 403 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,356 - I don't wanna talk about it! - The naacp, gamergate... 404 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,318 Morty, is that supreme court justice Sonia sotomayor? 405 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,902 I'm sorry! I... I'm sorry! 406 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,362 I-Is that what you want me to say? 407 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,740 - What... what do I do? - Oof, well, I'm stumped. 408 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,825 Seems like there's no way out of this one. 409 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,076 Unless... 410 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,578 God damn it. 411 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,747 Yeah, I guess it is, uh... What did you call it? 412 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,957 Uh, uh, "a shitty idea"? 413 00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,168 - God damn it. - Say the vat is good. 414 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,128 The vat is good. 415 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,088 Kiss the vat. 416 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,759 Do not go into that vat. 417 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,761 It appears to be full of acid. 418 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,763 It is! Please, he's just a little boy! 419 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,140 - Let me talk to him. - Tell him we're very upset! 420 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,475 Morty, please. Step back. 421 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,976 That vat is full of acid. 422 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,479 It'll melt you completely, leaving only your bones. 423 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,165 - Goddamn it! - I'm sorry, what did you say? 424 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,315 I'm going in the vat! 425 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,026 [Indistinct shouting] 426 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,404 Oh! God! Aw, I blame myself! 427 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,031 Oh, what a tragedy. 428 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,325 This... Oh, well, he's bones now. 429 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,576 I guess all debts are paid. 430 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,411 Agreed. He's definitely dead. 431 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,789 Why else would the bones come up? 432 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,624 While his actions were horrifying 433 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:29,418 and we are well within our rights to be outraged, 434 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,796 I do wonder if we bear some responsibility 435 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,173 for this young man melting himself in acid. 436 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,842 Are we here for justice... Or something else? 437 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:40,054 "Though justice be thy plea, consider this, 438 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,264 that in the course of justice... 439 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,809 None of us should see salvation. 440 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,477 We do pray for mercy." 441 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:47,937 "Merchant of venice," nice. 442 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,438 Very cool. Lots to think about. 443 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,440 Vengeance is a tomb, all-encompassing... 444 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,652 Alright, okay, this isn't a poetry reading, a kid just died. 445 00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:58,197 Every... everybody go home and hug your loved one or something. 446 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:03,035 [Vehicle doors closing, engines starting] 447 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,328 Wait. 448 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,788 How do we know that's really acid 449 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,724 and you didn't just have someone's bones in there? 450 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,351 I mean, if you're doubting if that's really acid 451 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,975 and not just jacuzzi-heated mountain dew, 452 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,420 you're welcome to use this ladle. 453 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,463 You think I'm a goddamn idiot? 454 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,590 Brought my own. 455 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,596 Aah! 456 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,848 Oh, god! Oh, god no! 457 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,433 Oh, god, no! Oh, no... huh? 458 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,143 I'm acid-proof! 459 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,103 Fuck all of you, fuck all of you, 460 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,479 I'm gonna be rich! 461 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,814 Here's my ass. 462 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,733 Take a good look, spankifl 463 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,317 acid proof! 464 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:38,320 Feels like that guy had other stuff going on. 465 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,698 Don't ever make fun of me again. 466 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,867 Even 467 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,392 alright, c'mon morty, let's go home. 468 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,173 Wait, what? This... this isn't our reality? 469 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,565 What, you think I'd waste our home 470 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,165 teaching you a fucking lesson? 471 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,050 [Sighs] I am gonna miss this place, though... 472 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,877 Johnny Carson's still alive and on the air, 473 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,253 9/11 never happened, 474 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,856 and rocky road ice cream has peanut butter 475 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,673 - instead of marshmallows. - The fu... what? 476 00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,025 The marshmallows are the best part! 477 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,634 Morty... 478 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,763 [Dramatic music plays] 479 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:37,588 [Cheers and applause] 480 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,423 Our next guest, ah, gave us, 481 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,108 well, actually, very little information, 482 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:45,387 ah, besides the fact that he is, uh, impervious to acid. 483 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,389 So here he is, he's here to prove it. 484 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:50,351 Let's welcome this guy. 485 00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:51,811 Let's do this shit! 486 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,163 Now, you're, uh... You're sure about this? 487 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:54,396 Eat my ass! Hoist me! 488 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,733 I did not know that ass was on the menu. 489 00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,360 Don't steal my moment! Do it! 490 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:03,155 Ah, okay, then without further ado... drop him. 491 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,573 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 492 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:06,575 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, oh, yeah! 493 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:10,037 [Screaming] 494 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,423 Looks like I'll be eating ass flambé. 495 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,259 [ Laughter] 496 00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:24,510 Please kill me. 497 00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:28,973 [Applause]